Under My Skin
by WellMadeMistake
Summary: Bella doesn't go online looking for guys, and Edward doesn't need any help finding a date. But when the two of them meet and bond over their shared love of music, can the distance between them prevent them from getting to what they really want? M for Lems
1. Chapter 1

**New story from me! Yay! This story, at least this portion, is told in the past tense and covers a lot of time. Its meant to give you some back story as to what has gotten Bella to where she is now. In this story, Bella is in a band. I based her band's sound off of a band called The Duke Spirit. The song she sings is called Wooden Heart, and there is a link to it on my profile. They have a very different sound, plus I really like them alot. The song "Darling, You're Mean" which is mentioned later in the story is there as well. Enjoy! **

* * *

This is actually happening. I can't even begin to believe it. My dreams were coming true right before my eyes and I was still reeling from the news.

We could possibly get signed. Us. This little band with an effing record deal? No no no, I must be dreaming. Someone, please pinch me before I get too deep into this dream. Or better yet, let me stay in whatever coma I've slipped into and never ever wake me up.

All of our hard work is finally going to pay off. Years of practicing, lugging gear to shady clubs, getting paid measly sums of money to help draw a crowd to empty bars; despite all that we did it for the love of the music, and the love and mutual respect we had for each other.

I'd known these boys for what felt like my entire life, but in actuality we all met our freshman year of college. At orientation, the leaders required us to go sit in on little seminars through out the day about how to get more involved on campus and how to "make the most" of our college experience. I was the only girl who went to the intramural sports seminar, and Emmett hit on me so ridiculously hard that day. I would have probably laughed in his face had it not been for those adorable dimples. I remember him saying something about girls and sports, and how he didn't think there was such thing as an intramural cheerleading squad. I countered with a good hard sock to the shoulder, he laughed and pretty much didn't leave my side for the rest of the day. He jabbered on and on about his days as a high school football star, how he was attending school on an athletic scholarship and all that jazz. Despite his meatheadedness, he really was quite endearing and besides all that, his smile was infectious. He told rude jokes, made comments about other girls, and challenged me to a burping contest (which I proudly beat him at, I might add). After our initial exchange, Emmett saw me as an equal, as more or less one of the guys as opposed to some "delicate flower" kind of girl, and we became downright inseparable.

Jasper was Emmett's dorm mate. They were randomly assigned to each other and sometimes I wonder if there wasn't some cosmic force at work in this instance. Jasper was, and probably always will be to some degree, extremely shy. He had a quiet, reserved charm about him, but lacked Emmett's confident, go-get-'em attitude. They were each other's perfect foil. Throw me into the mix, and you got trouble. That first night, Emmett insisted that we all get drunk together. Jasper was apprehensive, as was I, but once Emmett made up his mind that he wanted something, there was no stopping him from getting whatever it was. So we downed a bottle of cheap spiced rum that Emmett had swiped from his parents before leaving home, and in the course of our drinking proclaimed that I was their unofficial third roomie. I'm pretty sure Jasper assumed that Emmett and I were "together" for the better part of that night, but changed his mind whenever Emmett, in his drunken stupor, complained that the room was getting too hot and wanted to open the door. He then proceeded to invite every girl who walked by into the room for a drink and a good time. From then on Jasper completely understood that there was absolutely nothing going on between that big, dumb teddy bear and myself.

We got to know each other pretty well over the next couple of weeks; drinking and doing moronic things like college freshmen do, and through the course of our spending time together, it came out that Emmett played the drums, but was forced to leave his set back home, Jasper played guitar and wrote sappy love songs to all of his girlfriends, and I was a bit of a singer. We sort of joked around about starting a band for a while but made the excuse that we were missing a key part of the rhythm section, and opted to go to class and party instead.

We saw Emmett less and less as football season got into full swing. He was the only true freshman to start on the Offensive line in almost 10 years, and he really was incredible to watch. My dad, Charlie, used to try to get me to watch sports with him when I was a kid, but I just couldn't get into it.

"Bella," he'd say, "every guy likes a girl who understands the fundamentals of football. Or at least can appreciate the skill required to play it well." To that, I would usually just roll my eyes, but I guess I'd soaked in enough to know when Emmett was doing something good. Jasper and I were always camped out in the end-zone with big "Emmett McCarty is #1" banners and signs for all of the home games, and parked in front of and shouting at the TV for all of the away games.

We all went our separate ways for winter break; Jasper back to Houston, Emmett back to Virginia, and me, just up the road to rainy little Forks, Washington. But despite our distance, we all stayed in close contact. We'd really become quite the little family, the three of us.

New Year's Day. Jasper had flown back to Seattle a little early so we could watch Emmett's big bowl game debut together. They'd made it all the way to the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. Jasper, Charlie, and I watched the Tournament of Roses parade, and I made nachos, chicken wings, and various other game-time foods so we could stay firmly attached to the television all day. We were up 14-7 at the half, and Emmett, along with the rest of the team, was going great. The first snap of the second half, Emmett caught a 38 yard pass, and ran it in for another touchdown. 21-7.

At that point in the game, the other team had started to cover Emmett almost exclusively. With three minutes left to play, the other team scored again. 21-14, Then we allowed a turnover, which put the other team in the position of having a first down and only 8 yards to go. They were going to try for the touchdown and force the game into overtime. Charlie, Jasper, and I were perched on the edge of the couch holding our breath. Finally the snap, Emmett faked left, and ran right only to be completely leveled by two defensive tackles from the opposing team. He lay still on the field while the rest of the team finished the play. I remember screaming when I saw him get hit and didn't get up. Emmett always got up, no matter how badly he was hurt. But this time, he just lay there, very still.

The team medics rushed to his side, and I wished I could hear what they were saying and know what was going on. I could see Emmett's lips moving so I knew that much was alright. But after a long time of lying there, he had to practically be carried off the field. I was a wreck. There was no one I could call to find out more information. We'd just have to wait, like everyone else. But less than 12 hours later my cell phone rang and on the other end of the line was a heavily sedated Emmett.

"Bella," he slurred. "It doesn't even hurt anymore. Really. I have to get back in the game."

"Em, honey," I soothed, "the game's over sweetheart."

"What?!" I could hear metal clanking in the background like something had been knocked over.

"Yeah Em. The game's over. We won though, so that's good news. Sweetie, can you tell me what happened?"

There was a long pause before he spoke again, his speech becoming increasingly slurred.

"Out of nowhere, these guys. Big guys. And Bam! Never even saw it coming. Doctor says I've got a concussion, and my neck bone… hurts. Not going to catch much for a while. Ladies. Nurses. Hehe." He finished his almost completely nonsensical rambling with a low chuckle.

"Emmett, your neck bone?"

"No, Bel-lah! The shirt bone, with the neck. Around. You know!" he seemed to be getting frustrated and I tried not to laugh.

"Do you mean your collar bone, hun? Is your collar bone broken?"

"Yessssssss," he slurred. "That's what I said."

I had to laugh a little at that point. "Aside from the concussion and the broken collar bone, I'm glad you're alright."

"I love you, Bella… Like a sister… only hotter…heh" he laughed at himself and I had to smile.

"I love you too, Em. I'll pretend like you said you love Jasper too so he doesn't feel left out."

"Jasper!... oh yeah, let me talk to him."

"Get some rest, champ. We'll call you tomorrow."

"Night night, Bella," he said. I smiled at how much he sounded like a 3 year old just then.

"Night night, Emmett." And hung up the phone.

Two weeks into the spring semester Emmett came back to school with his arm in a sling and bandaged to his side. He was a little grumpier than usual, but he was in overall good spirits. The doctors said he'd have to spend at least 6 weeks in the sling, and then he'd have some rehabilitation after that, and Emmett was not happy about having to basically sit still for an extended amount of time. After 3 weeks he was taking the sling off and moving his shoulder around. He swore it didn't hurt, but I could see his face tighten every time he'd swing his arm around in a big circle.

Those adorable dimples must have magic in them because somehow he managed to convince his mom that shipping his drum set cross country would be awesome rehab. But of course, Emmett being the impulsive kind of guy that he is, hadn't thought through where he was going to put those drums once they arrived. His and Jasper's dorm room was a packed house as it was with just the two of them in it, let alone a bulky drum set. Not to mention his RA's wouldn't be very pleased with the added noise.

Charlie loved Emmett, and it made him almost star struck to have a top athlete hanging around the house when I brought him around, so I was able to convince my dad to let Emmett set up his kit in his garage. It was only a short drive away from campus and Emmett could be as loud as he wanted because my dad had no neighbors and the wildlife certainly couldn't complain. Charlie even gave Emmett a key to the house so he could come by and play if Charlie or I weren't around.

After a while, Emmett started disappearing to Charlie's more and more, and Jasper and I conceded that if we wanted to see him, we'd have to see him there.

Around spring break, Jasper had started to woo this girl in his Oceanography class but had managed to somehow make an ass of himself when they finally went out. He brought his guitar over to Charlie's one afternoon because he'd written a song for her and wanted us, but mostly me, to hear it. Jasper's guitar playing was amazing; his fingers seemed to move almost like magic, all of his shyness melting away into quiet confidence. His singing voice on the other hand, well… it could use some work. When he was done, Emmett looked at him with a bemused expression.

"Hey Jazz, I thought you were going to sing us a song, not strangle a cat," he said with a completely straight face.

"Hey, fuck you man. This is really personal. I knew I shouldn't have played it for you," he huffed, his face turning an obscene shade of red as he grabbed his backpack and stood up to leave.

"Aww… Jasper, don't be like that," I pleaded, pulling him back down onto the sofa in the garage. "It wasn't that bad."

"Fine. You sing it then." He thrust the lyrics scribbled messily in a red spiral notebook into my hands.

"Ha ha, very funny. I'm not going to sing a song written for your little girlfriend."

"Bella, come on. You can sing. I just want to hear what it sounds like not sucking. Do it for me." He practically begged, and flashed me those big baby blue eyes that I couldn't say no to.

"Ugh, fine."

I stumbled a little bit over the first few lines until I caught the rhythm of the lyrics. Out of nowhere, Emmett threw in a soft drum beat_. _

_No one wastes time quite like I do  
I can waste time like nobody else  
You can go running back to your friends  
You can go running back to your friends_

_Well, that's how it feels  
Yeah, that's how it feels_

_I would understand your heart  
if I could feel it  
I would understand your heart  
if I could feel it_

_All I have is all that I am feeling  
All I feel is all that I know  
and then I use it every day  
and abuse it every way_

_yeah, that is how it feels  
yeah, that is how it feels_

_I would understand your heart  
if I could feel it  
I would understand your heart  
if I could feel it.  
_

_The skies are more certain  
than you will ever be  
the rain clouds are angry  
at you and at me_

_the skies are more certain  
than you will ever be  
the rain clouds are angry  
at you and at me_

_Forgive me, baby  
I am not all that you see_

_I would understand your heart  
if I could feel it  
I would understand your heart  
if I could feel it_

_I would understand your heart  
if I could feel,  
I would understand your heart  
if I could feel, oh_

When the song was over, the three of us just sort of looked at each other.

"Well that was interesting," Emmett said with a mischievous smile.

Jasper rubbed the back of his neck. "It sounds way better when you sing it, Bells."

"Um, thanks. The lyrics are a little… odd. But good." I blushed uncontrollably. It had been years since I'd really sang in front of anyone.

"Yeah, they could probably use a little work. Maybe we should revisit this whole starting a band, thing," Emmett laughed.

"Might be something to think about," Jasper said. "What do you think, Bella?"

"I don't know guys; this is just messing around in my dad's garage. A band is-"

"Fun, exciting, a great excuse to stay out late and meet chicks," Emmett chimed in.

Jasper and I laughed.

"Let's sort of keep it on the backburner for now, and maybe look for someone who can play bass. If we can find someone, then we can look at it more seriously. How's that?" I negotiated. Starting a band, though fun in theory, was really the last thing I saw myself doing.

"Deal."

And that's sort of where it stayed for a while. The song helped Jasper win the girl back over after all, and he and Alice have been a very happy couple ever since.

The semester ended, and Jasper and Emmett both went home to visit their families for a while. Jasper came back after just two weeks because he couldn't stand being away from Alice.

While she took summer classes and worked at a small lingerie boutique, Jasper hung out with me either at my apartment or at Charlie's house, all the while writing furiously in his little red, spiral bound notebook.

"Jazz, what are you writing over there all the time?" I asked while we were watching some cheesy horror movie on cable.

"Lyrics," was his only reply.

"Why? Did you do something to piss Alice off again?"

"If you must know things between Alice and I are fantastic. I don't know, I've just sort of had this melody in my head for a couple days now and I have to get it out. Have you given anymore thought to the whole band thing?"

"We haven't found a bass player, now have we?"

"No, but we also haven't been looking. Maybe if we actually looked, we might find someone." He put his pen and notebook down and turned on the couch to look at me. "Come on Bella. It could be awesome, and you know it."

"I don't know, Jazz. I've got to keep my grades up and so does Emmett. I think a band might spread us a little too thin, you know?"

"Listen Bells, this is just for fun. And we'll all be there for each other when we need support. If you need a break, we'll take a break. I know school is important, believe me. I just think the three of us are really good together."

"Alice wouldn't mind you spending even _more_ time with me than you already do?"

"Ha! Alice loves you, and she knows there's nothing going on between me and you."

"Alice loves me?"

"Yeah. She thinks you're awesome. She can't ever stop talking about how she wishes you guys could hang out more often. "

I'd only met Jasper's girlfriend a handful of times. She worked like crazy to fund her never ending shopping addiction, while her parent's required her to keep an impeccable GPA. She seemed like a sweet girl, and Jasper adored her, but not really my type. She is super girly and feminine, while I am not exactly a tomboy, but… I guess low maintenance is the best way to describe me. We just didn't seem like we'd mesh very well. But oh how wrong I was about that.

After a few more serious conversations with Jasper and consulting with Emmett from across the country, we decided it was time to move forward. With Emmett spending the summer at home with his family, Jasper and I spent countless hours in my living room with his notebook and guitar writing as many songs as we could. We really got on a roll and started cranking out a couple songs a week.

Alice eventually started accompanying Jasper to our little jam sessions, which I was apprehensive about at first, but she proved to be no bother at all. She would sit quietly in one of the chairs by the window studying or reading a fashion magazine, not saying a word until we were finished. From time to time I'd glance over at her and see her watching me or Jasper out of the corner of her eye and a slight smile would curve across her lips. She'd catch me looking and immediately go back to what she was doing. And when we were finished she'd pack up her things, give me a hug and thank me for letting her tag along, and leave with Jasper.

Finally, one day I caught her smiling larger than usual at us as I sang and Jasper played. I could always see the wheels in her head turning when she'd smile like that, and even though Alice and I had barely exchanged more than pleasantries, I had to know what was going on in that head of hers.

"What is it, Alice?" I said, interrupting the song and turning to look at her directly. Her eyes went wide and a slight blush colored her cheeks.

"Oh nothing, just listening is all. It sounds really good," she replied looking back down at her magazine. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"No, you didn't interrupt. I just… I mean, you've listened to us write for weeks now and you've never said anything. But I see you smiling over there, and to be quite honest, I'm really interested to know what you think," I said. I realized that by calling her out, I'm sure I'd come across as a bit intimidating or accusatory and that certainly wasn't my intent. So I did my best to be genuine, and warm.

"Really, Bella? You honestly want my opinion?" Her voice was soft and small as she looked up at me with those big blue eyes, framed by a fringe of jet black bangs.

"Of course, Alice." I smiled, but inside was sort of bracing for her to say something like she thought we were awful or something. Which is usually the follow up when someone asks if you honestly want their opinion. But quite the opposite happened. Her eyes went wide again and her smile grew exponentially as she started to rummage in her oversized tote bag that was sitting on the floor next to her chair. From it she pulled a small handheld device that I didn't recognize.

"I know I should have told you guys, but I didn't want to put any undue pressure on you. Jasper, sweetie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you." She pressed a button on the tiny thing in her hand causing a red light to flicker off and came over to sit between Jasper and I on the couch. "You guys just sound so good, and Bella, I don't think you realize how much this means to Jasper." She turned her head and smiled at him warmly, he returned her expression with a timid smile of his own and a squeeze of her knee. "The two of you alone are good enough to make it. And I mean really make it, I can only imagine what it'll sound like with Emmett and someone on bass added in. So I started recording you guys practicing." She blushed a little bit then, and dipped her head as Jasper's expression went blank.

"At first I thought it would be good to have recordings for, you know, reference material later on. But then, you guys just started sounding better and better… Oh I really hope you guys aren't mad at me…" she leaned forward and placed the little device on the coffee table and pressed a few buttons. After a few seconds of silence, my voice and Jasper's guitar playing came out of the little speaker on the back of the thing on the table.

"See how good you sound?" she said with an encouraging smile. "I told my cousin about you. Both of you. He works for a little independent record label in LA, and he wanted to hear some for himself. So… I sent him a few songs."

"What?!" Jasper and I both exclaimed in unison.

"Alice, I know you're just trying to help, but baby these songs are so not ready for anyone else to hear yet. Hell, we haven't even played them in front of an audience." Jasper was practically trembling.

"I know I should have asked your permission, but I knew you'd say no. But hey, he really liked what he heard. Honest."

Jasper and I just looked at each other for a moment before I broken the tense silence.

"Well what did he say?"

"He thinks it's got great potential, that you have a really unique sound and that he wants to hear what it sounds like once you get a full band together. Then there might be a slight possibility that he'd want to maybe bring you guys to LA to hear you in person." Both Jasper's and my eyes nearly popped out of our heads. "No promises though!" she added. But that didn't stop us from both wrapping Alice up in a tight group hug.

"I've got to go call Emmett, and tell him to get his ass back here ASAP!" Jasper jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen to retrieve his cell phone from his backpack leaving Alice and I alone together for the first time ever. She looked at me with a sheepish little grin that slowly spread into a full blown, face splitting smile. It was infectious and I could feel my own smile creeping across my lips. Out of nowhere, a squeal gurgled up in my throat and I wrapped my arms around Alice again. She returned my embrace and squealed a little herself as we both bounced up and down on the sofa.

After a few moments we let each other go, and I started to laugh.

"I don't think I've ever had such a girly sound come out of me before," I said but she just laughed.

"Happens to the best of us every now and then," she replied with a wink.

Jasper called Emmett and told him what Alice had done, and he was on the first plane back to Seattle a few days later. In the meantime, Jasper and I put up fliers around campus looking for an experienced bass player.

The first few responses we got weren't very promising. The first guy seemed nice enough, but didn't really have very much experience. The second guy's only experience was in various death metal projects, which wouldn't really fit with what we wanted to do at all. Then there was James. He was nice, intelligent, experienced, and had similar influences to ours. Once Emmett was back in town, we invited James up to Charlie's to sit in on our practice. Emmett just had a natural feel for the rhythm of the songs and came up with a drum beat on the spot. James struggled a bit at first with getting into the rhythm, but it didn't take him long to fall into a groove with Emmett's drumming. After a few more practices, and to our astonishment, we had 10 complete and original songs. It just seemed to come so naturally to us; the 4 of us as a group.

James was great, he really completed our group dynamic but I'm a little sad to say that he always seemed like a little bit of an outsider when compared to the bond that Jasper, Emmett and I had. But of course that's not for lack of trying. We invited him to hang out with us, bond with us, which he did sometimes but he also had his own group of friends and his own prior commitments which we all understood. Nevertheless, there has always been a noticeable divide, which is regrettable.

The thing that must be said about me is that I am a serial bachelorette, so to speak. I've had many boyfriends, and I'm certainly no virgin, but I preferred the single life. Not really because I particularly enjoyed being single, but more because I never found anyone that really piqued my interest for more than a few months. Well, I had… but that's another story. James was very different from any guy I'd ever met before. He was like a mix between the great attributes of Jasper and Emmett combined into one; Emmett's fearless bravado and boisterous love of people and new things, with Jasper's down-home values and charm. Mix those things together added in with a fair amount of mysteriousness, good looks, and the volatility of a hand grenade and that was James.

One night Emmett had to miss band practice for football practice, and Jasper was called out early when Alice had car trouble, leaving James and I alone together for the first time. At first I thought he'd leave too since there wasn't much point in us continuing practice with just him and me. But he sat down on the musty old sofa beside me, picked up Jasper's guitar and started to play a song I recognized as one of my favorites.

_Childhood living is easy to do  
The things you wanted I bought them for you  
Graceless lady you know who I am  
You know I cant let you slide through my hands_

_Wild horses couldn__'t drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away_

_I watched you suffer a dull aching pain  
Now you decided to show me the same  
No sweeping exits or offstage lines  
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind_

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, couldn't drag me away_

_I know I dreamed you a sin and a lie  
I have my freedom but I don't have much time  
Faith has been broken, tears must be cried  
Lets do some living after we die_

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day_

_Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses, well ride them some day_

His voice was soft and hypnotic, almost as if to lull anyone who heard it to sleep. And I felt like I had been ensnared by it. My mind felt clouded and fuzzy, and it was only after he stopped playing that I realized that my heart was pounding. Once the little garage was silent again, James looked at me with a coy little smile and I snapped out of my trance.

"Wow James, if I didn't know better I'd think you were vying for my spot at the mic," I said with a laugh.

"Nah, lead singer duties really aren't my style. But it's a nice trick to pull out of my hat from time to time, surprise people. Helps with the girls too," he chuckled nervously.

"Right. The girls. I'll have to keep that in mind," I replied sarcastically staring down at my shoes on the cement floor.

"Is it working on you?" I looked up at him in surprise. Had he really just asked me that?

I brushed it off as a joke and said with a chuckle, "You don't know me well enough to understand that I'm not the typical girl, and I don't fall for the usual tricks."

"I've noticed," he whispered before standing up from the couch. "I should probably get going. I'll uhh, see you next week for sure."

"Yeah. Next week. Definitely." I walked him out to his car and as he reached for the handle it seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't.

"G'night, Bella," was all he said before driving off into the drizzly rain.

At the next practice a week later James, who was normally very concentrated on his playing, seemed a little distracted. Every now and then I'd catch him watching me out of the corner of my eye as I sang.

"Bella, why don't we try something different," Jasper suggested that I turn around and face them instead of out at our imaginary audience, so that they could see me, and I could see them. I agreed, and we launched into the song, "Darling, You're Mean," that I'd written.

_Oooh, I know, it's coming back  
And I say oooh, lord, yeah it's driving me mad_

_Oh no, please, don't leave, don't go_

_Oooh, I know, it's coming back  
Darling, darling...you're mean  
Mean to me_

It was the first time we'd really played a song full out, and I could feel myself getting pulled into it. Clutching the microphone between both hands on the stand, I closed my eyes and leaned into the music. With each "oooh" I felt my lips push out into a slight pout against the mic and my nose scrunch up a little as I sang.

When it was over, I opened my eyes to find the boys all smiling.

"Wow Bells," Emmett laughed.

"What?"

"You're sexy! I never knew you had it in ya."

"Oh ha-ha, very funny asshole." I flashed him a condescending look.

"Come one James, back me up on this. Guys are going to go nuts for her when we play out, right?" Jasper, Emmett, and I turned our eyes to James, who blushed wildly.

He cleared his throat and adjusted his bass in front of himself before he spoke. "Yeah, Bella. You're sexy," he said, a lock of sandy blond hair falling in his eyes as he focused his attention on the thick strings of his instrument.

"That was great, but its getting a little late and I should probably be heading out," Jasper said, unplugging his guitar and starting to pack up. "Alice will kill me if I'm late again tonight."

"Yeah, and I've got a 6am practice. I swear its like coach has absolutely no idea that I'm trying to be a rockstar!" Emmett laughed at his own lame joke as he walked with Jasper out into the night.

"That really was great, Bella," Jasper called before jumping into his car and speeding off down the winding road that lead up to Charlie's. James and I stood there awkwardly by the open garage door together, alone again.

"Bella," he said and I turned to face him but wasn't aware of how close we were standing to each other. Our chests were mere inches away from each other and I had to look up to see his face.

I gulped. We'd never been so close before. "Yeah?"

"You really did look sexy up there tonight."

My cheeks ignited with an intense blush. "Thanks. That's not really a word I hear describe me very much."

"Well you are. And not just tonight, but all the time." His hazel eyes bore down into my brown ones with a look of intensity that sent shivers down my spine. His stare and our close proximity caused my blush to deepen and I stood there without anything to say in reply.

I tore my eyes away from his and looked out into the inky black night and the constant rain. I felt his fingers come out to brush against my cheek. They were cool and gentle and he whispered, "That's such a gorgeous color."

I looked back up at him and my heart started to race. Before I knew what was happening, his cool hand was cupping my cheek and he had leaned down to bring our eyes almost level. I held my breath and closed my eyes before he pressed his full pink lips to mine. His kiss was firm yet gentle, not aggressive or pushy in any way; he was asking for permission. When I reached up and placed a hand on the side of his neck, he saw that as my permission being granted and his lips began to move against mine. Hungry and lustful but still soft and passionate. His other hand wrapped around the small of my back and he pulled me closer to him as I let my other hand rest against his chest. I could feel his heart thundering through his shirt when his tongue gently slipped past my lips and into my mouth. He tasted so masculine and warm, I didn't hesitate to let him in. It had been so long since anyone had kissed me that way, I didn't want it to stop. As the kiss deepened, his cool fingers moved from my cheek and into my hair, as did mine into his. I clutched at the front of his t-shirt, the want and need for more almost overtaking me in that moment. He countered my every sigh with a soft moan of his own, holding me closer and closer as our mouths moved together.

Just then, a pair of headlights swung around the winding drive blinding us in the open garage doorway. We jumped apart, like two kids having been caught. Charlie's cruiser pulled up to the front door and he waved at us from across the yard. We waved back as if nothing had happened.

When we looked at each other, he smiled shyly.

"I should probably go," he whispered.

"Yeah, I've got to be heading home too."

He reached into his bag and pulled out an umbrella. He offered me his arm in a gentlemanly gesture and walked me to my car. He opened the door for me, and just as I was about to get into the driver's seat, he caught me by the waist and pulled me close to him again. Chest to chest, he looked down at me with that same intense stare from before, and kissed me softly on my slightly parted lips.

"I'll see you soon," he said, resting his forehead against mine.

"Mhmm…" was all I could manage as he steered me into the seat and closed my door.

I sat there completely dumbfounded as I watched him drive away. I'd been attracted to James from the moment I laid eyes on him, that was for sure. He was tall and strong, had sandy blond hair that was always messy in true rock and roll fashion, and had a laid back swagger about him that just made everyone in the room look at him. But I never imagined anything would ever happen between us. Hell, I hardly knew him outside of practice, because we'd only hung out a handful of times. But I certainly couldn't deny the physical reaction he'd brought out of me, and the reaction he had had as well. There was a glaringly obvious physical attraction between us, the only problem was, where did it go from here?

A week went by as usual, and I didn't say anything to Jasper or Emmett about what had happened between James and I. On Thursday afternoon, it was a rare sunny day in the fall so I laid out on the grass in front of the library studying when someone plopped down beside me. I looked over expecting to see Emmett but was very surprised to see James sitting there. I'd never even seen him around campus before that day.

"Fancy seeing you here," he said with a charming smile that made my pulse quicken.

"Yeah, fancy that," I replied, sitting up.

"You're hard to track down, you know that?"

"Am I?"

"Yeah, I would have called you but I realized I didn't have your phone number. I thought an email telling you how great that kiss was would have been slightly impersonal." He flashed me a smile that made my insides tighten.

"Yeah, it was um… something. That's for sure." I laughed nervously and tucked my hair behind my ears. I couldn't figure out what it was about him that pulled me in.

"Look Bella, I like you a lot. I'd really like to see you, you know, like, outside of the band." There was a slight quiver in his voice, but his face read calm and collected. "What do you think?"

"I don't know, James. If it doesn't work out, the band is important to me, and to Jasper and Emmett. If that got messed up because things became weird between us…"

He reached out and grabbed my hand softly. "Bella, I promise that nothing will be weird if it doesn't work out. We're adults, right? I can handle it if you can."

I looked down at our hands intertwined together on my lap and heaved a deep sigh.

"Does this mean you're asking me out then?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess I am." He flashed me that smile again and my heart jumped.

"I… I'd really like that." I blushed.

"Great! I'll see you tonight at practice." And with that, he jumped up from the grass beside me and took off on in a jog across the green.

I sat there thinking. Something didn't feel right. Why was I thinking about _him_ now? _He_ shouldn't have any bearing on my decisions, he was hundreds of miles away and for all I knew a completely different person than what I'd come to associate him with. No… I couldn't go on living in a fantasy and waiting for something that was never going to happen. James was here and now. He seemed like a good enough guy and was someone I wanted to get to know better. He liked me, so why should I hold my breath for someone else? I'd made up my mind to give it my all with James, but at the same time be cautious for the sake of the band.

That night at practice, we were all business but every so often James would smile at me, causing me to blush and smile back. I noticed Emmett shooting quizzical glances between James and I all night. He really is quite perceptive.

When we wrapped things up at the end of the night, Emmett ushered Jasper out of the garage with a wink my direction. So much for keeping things secret. Charlie was working late again, so James and I were alone again. The rain hammered down on the little house and splashed in deep puddles on the driveway. James and I sat down on the musty old couch and watched the rain in silence for a little while.

"So, Bella…" James shifted closer to me on the cushions.

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about you. I feel like I don't know you at all." His smile made me feel tingly all over, and I knew a blush was surely on its way.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, not really sure exactly where was an appropriate place to start. I was never very good at the whole "getting to know you" part of dating. What was too much information? What subjects were off limits?

He chuckled and ran his hand through his shaggy hair. "Let's start with… if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?"

"Sushi, and don't make me pick a particular roll because, just like my children, I could never pick a favorite," I said without hesitation.

He scrunched his nose up and made a disgusted face. "Sushi? Really? Eating raw fish doesn't just gross you out completely?"

"Not at all. Its fantastic. Something tells me you haven't tried it."

"No, I haven't because it sounds disgusting," he laughed.

"Mark my words, I'll get you to try it and you'll love it."

"I doubt it, sweet cheeks. Once I make up my mind, there's no turning back."

We talked and laughed for a while, and though conversation with James was easy and fun, we had very little in common. Not only was he completely unwilling to change his position on my favorite food, he loved mobster movies which I hated, he came from a big family while I was an only child, he was always extremely popular growing up while I was a bit of an outsider, he even made a comment about how he normally went for very girly girls and it was odd for him to even be attracted to me in the first place.

James was a very nice guy, but we just didn't seem to click as well as I'd hoped. And I think he noticed it too, because when he kissed me goodbye that night the fiery spark from our first kiss was very noticeably missing.

We went on a few dates, and we both gave it our best shot but we'd just end up making out when we ran out of things to talk about, and even that became boring after a while. Though we were by no means exclusive, it was just a little awkward when we both came to the conclusion that there wasn't really anything between us, but he assured me that despite the fact that there wasn't a romantic spark, he enjoyed getting to know me better and thought that because of that we'd all be able to get closer as a band.

James and I had never come out in the open with our little affair to Emmett and Jasper, but I knew that they knew. After practice one night, Jasper lagged behind the others and asked quite bluntly if James and I were still seeing each other. I was embarrassed at first, and then I felt bad for not confiding in him, but I told him plainly that James and I had tried to date but that it hadn't worked out, but that he had nothing to worry about because James and I were cool. He just hugged me and told me that if I thought everything was going to be alright in the band, that he'd trust my judgment. That is one of the great things about Jasper; he's so perceptive and emotionally open. He knew when was the right time to pry and when wasn't.

Band practice continued on as usual, and without any strange interactions between James and me. But he was right; the two of us getting to know each other did in fact help us all grow closer as a band. The divide between the three of us and James seemed to get less and less noticeable, and our playing improved as well.

We started performing at local clubs and bars, and were surprisingly well received wherever we played. We toted our gear from little gig to little gig, but it didn't matter because we were having the time of our lives. I don't really know how we managed to keep our grades up because school seemed to take a backseat to music for all of us. Emmett even seemed to lose his enthusiasm for football, but continued to split his time between practices to keep his scholarship.

Over a year went by between when Alice first told us that she'd sent her secret recordings to her cousin in LA, and when we thought we were anywhere near ready to revisit the idea. The four of us were tighter than ever, on stage and off. We had dozens of songs practiced to near perfection. We'd carved out a niche for ourselves in the local music scene, and were getting invitations from all over Washington and Oregon to play at clubs and festivals. With each gig we gained a little bit more notoriety and could command a higher wage. Not that we did it for the money, but compensation was definitely nice.

It was actually Alice who brought up her cousin again. Little had been said about it since the formation of the band, because we didn't want to get our hopes up, but after a particularly good show she finally spoke up.

"You guys were great out there!" she said excitedly after pushing her way to the side of the stage after the show.

"Thanks, babe," Jasper shouted over the crowd and planted a sweaty kiss on her little pout. Emmett and James started to whistle, and Alice playfully pushed him away. "I have a present for you guys."

"What is it?" I asked eagerly, and a little tipsy.

"My cousin called yesterday," she shouted. We all leaned in closer to hear her as another band started to play, but she motioned for us to move outside into the parking lot and away from the noise.

"Much better," she said once we were out into the cool night air. "My cousin called yesterday, asking what was going on with you guys. I told him you guys were solid, and he wants to hear what you've got."

James and Emmett high fived each other and were grinning from ear to ear.

"But that's not it guys," Alice continued. "He wants something better than just the grainy recordings I sent him before."

"Ok, we can go Buy some recording equipment and work on something we can send him. I guess I can probably produce it well enough to make us sound ok…" Jasper trailed off, his train of thought coming across out loud.

"Jazz, honey that won't be necessary. See, he really _really_ liked what he heard the first time and wants something finished, and polished. So, he scheduled and paid for you guys to have a couple hours in a recording studio with a producer."

I don't think I've ever seen such happy boys in my whole life. Emmett picked me up and swung me around like I weighed nothing, then moved on to Alice. He practically crushed her tiny body in A massive bear hug and planted a wet kiss on her cheek.

"When Alice? Did he tell you when he scheduled it for?" I asked her, the excitement of the situation seeping into my voice.

"That's the thing," she wiped Emmett's spit off of her cheek with a smirk. "He's really busy, and wants it as soon as possible. So… he sort of made the appointment for tomorrow afternoon."

I was floored; nervous, scared, excited, happy, a million emotions all at once. I ordered everyone home to rest up so we could be in top shape for what would prove to be one of the most important days of our lives.

We met at the studio in downtown Seattle the next day, the studio where Nirvana and Pearl Jam supposedly recorded their debut albums, and met with the producer Alice's cousin had arranged for us. It took a little while to get over our nerves, but eventually we got into the swing of things and wound up getting some really great stuff. The producer said he would send us a copy of the finished tracks and also a copy would be sent to LA.

The day I opened a package in the mail containing our finished tracks was also the day I got a phone call from Alice's cousin, extending an invitation to all of us to meet with him in Los Angeles.

I was pretty good at keeping it together until I hung up the phone with him, but shortly after our conversation ended I couldn't fight the scream of elation that rose up in my throat.

This was actually going to happen, all my dreams were coming true, and though I was more than thrilled to talk to Emmett, Jasper, and James, there was one more person with whom I had to share my good news.

* * *

**Edward's coming. Be patient. I love and appreciate all of the reviews! **


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everybody! Long time no see, right? Right now, its more about quality over quantity for me. Though I'll try to make my updates a little bit more regular, but weeklies are probably just not possible I'm sad to say. I know there are a lot of people out there who like my story A Simple Twist of Fate, and frankly I personally like this one better so REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I'll be motivated to update faster if I get a whole slew of reviews :) There are enough of you who follow me, so make it happen ladies! And gets too, I suppose.

Just to clarify a couple things first. Edward in Twilight is almost perfect and though that really works for that character it doesn't work for mine. I enjoy writing characters who are real and have flaws, so don't judge him too harshly; none of us is perfect. He is, after all, just a regular guy who doesn't always think with the proper brain. There is a lot of conversation in this chapter and a lot of textual exchanges (i.e emails, texts, etc) Italics indicate either an email or a text, and I think you'll be able to understand when the "speaker" changes from on person to another. If you have any problems with it, I'll be happy to make myself clearer if you need me to. Last but not least, this chapter is definitely rated M x 1000. Dirty, dirty stuff goes on here so if its not your bag, move along.

* * *

Edward

Please be here. Please be here. Please be here. Yes!

There she is, screen name AllSmiles19, just like she said she'd be, and just like she always was. _Bella_… For the longest time I felt so stupid rushing to a computer everyday just so I could talk to some girl who lived hundreds of miles away. I even found that sometimes I'd change my real life plans so I could stay online and talk to her. I felt pathetic. I'm a grown ass man, good looking, talented. I have a life, but little by little this girl I'd never met started to nudge her way closer and closer into the forefront of my brain. It wasn't long before she was all I could think about. Day. Night. Weekdays. Weekends. All the time. I counted down the hours until I could talk to her again. But of course I use the word "talk" loosely, considering the fact that I've never heard her voice. I never ever thought I'd be like this; hung up on some chick that may as well be on the other side of the planet. This was not my goal when I started this place. All I wanted was to converse with some people who liked the same things.

Let me back up a little…

I'd always been into music. I used to sneak into my older brother's room and steal CDs from his collection. Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Alice in Chains, god… I loved that stuff. So much so that I picked up a guitar when I was 14 and never looked back.

It almost came naturally to me, translating what I heard in my head into movements of my fingers across the frets. I never took lessons; I just played around with the strings until something decent came out. I used to lock myself in my room for hours playing along with my favorite albums until I knew every song by heart. I didn't even have to think about what I was doing; my fingers just seemed to move on their own.

After a while I realized that all the time I'd spent cooped up in my room had put a serious damper on my social life, so I put down the guitar for a while and made friends with things that weren't made of wood and strings. My friends were great, but none of them shared my passion for music, and I started to miss my old companion. Nobody except, Mike that is.

Mike was probably my least likely friend. He was a jock in high school, super popular, outwardly a complete prick, definitely not the kind that would hang out with a slacker like me. And I also use the term "slacker" loosely as well. Its not that I didn't try, it's that I really didn't have to. Minimal effort got me straight A's, so what more was there to strive for? I think people saw me as stuck up, too good for everyone. Maybe I felt that way, I don't know. I just didn't have time for the normal high school bullshit. Then one day, I was playing my guitar in the quad at lunch junior year, meat head Mike Newton walks up next to me and tells me I should try an open tuning if I was going to play Nick Drake tunes. Not only was I amazed that a dude in a letterman's jacket knew who Nick Drake was, but I was surprised that he was speaking to me in the first place.

"Try it tuned to D A D G D F# with a capo on the second fret. It might sound a little bit crisper. Be careful though, the strings won't want to hold that tuning for very long."

_What the hell?! _

I just sort of stared at him, he stared back.

"Yeah, good talkin' to you, man." He said with a roll of his eyes, and started to walk off.

"Wait!" I blurted, still shocked. "You wanna sit down? Maybe jam a little?" He looked over at the table of cheerleaders waiting for him, smirked back at me, and sat down. Mike was my wingman from pretty much that day on. At school we still ran in different circles, but in the afternoons and on weekends, he was always in my room with me. We'd jam, play video games, talk about music and chicks and just life in general. Mike played baseball because he was just sort of naturally athletic, but he didn't really care anything about it. Guitar was where his heart was, that much we definitely had in common.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, the weather was great, the city was beautiful, but I wanted more than anything else to follow my music and the logical place for my music to take me was to Los Angeles. With my grades, getting into UCLA after high school was a breeze and when I found out Mike had gotten in as well I was floored. The two of us roomed together all through college, the first year in the dorms then an off campus apartment after that. Mike majored in anthropology and I studied computer science. Neither of us was particularly interested in our field of study, because school was just our backup plan. Mike and I were focused, totally and completely, on making our careers in music.

He and I formed a band with a revolving door of members. We could never find people who were as serious about making it happen as we were. We weren't militant or overly harsh, we just understood the amount of work that went into making it in this business, and most people didn't. But we never seemed to be able to catch a break; drummers who wouldn't show, bassists who couldn't keep rhythm. I took over singing duties after our first couple singers only wanted to scream and not even try to carry a tune. However, along the way we did wind up with a few completed and recorded songs, which I proudly displayed on our Myspace, mostly because it was like pulling teeth to get it and the completed product was a testament to our perseverance.

We were essentially running in circles. LA is crawling with musicians, how was it possible that we couldn't find anyone worth a damn? Bored out of my mind, and mad as hell at our dilemma, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Putting my computer programming and web design skills to work, I started a forum for musicians to find other musicians, share songs, collaborate, and share common interest stuff. It started small, just catering to the greater Los Angeles area, but it took off and grew quickly. I was getting emails from people all over So. Cal asking me to expand. So eventually I did. First I worked my way south, to San Diego and surrounding areas then moved north all the way to Sacramento, San Francisco, and Napa. But it wasn't long before the state of California wasn't enough. I was getting dozens of requests to expand further, which I obliged, eventually branching out to cover the entire west coast. It was a lot more work to maintain a site so large by myself, but I was able to sell ad space which brought in a fair amount of income for me, so I was able to work less at my job waiting tables and spend more time maintaining the site whilst employing it to find band members of my own. All this happened over the course of a year.

College was coming to an end and Mike and I had a very serious decision to make; should we keep trying to get our foot in the door of the record industry or give up on our dream and go out into the real world? As graduation approached, I was getting a few job offers from IT companies around southern California and Mike had his various offers as well. When we both got pretty sweet deals in San Diego, we saw it as a sign; both of us would move to San Diego, join the working stiffs, but still pursue music on the side. Weekend warriors.

So, there was I was 23 years old, a college graduate, struggling musician, moving to another city with my best friend, on the brink of beginning my life. Whether or not that life was what I'd always imagined, I wasn't sure.

My job in San Diego was pretty mindless at times, but it paid well. I was a systems analyst for a software company, and a lot of my job was done on machines that tested systems and circuits. Sometimes there was a lot to do and I had more work than I could handle, other times I sat mindlessly clicking around on the internet looking for something to fill my time.

It was on one of those days when work was scarce that I came across the forum's newest member; AllSmiles19. She introduced herself to the forum as a singer from Seattle. She and some friends were mulling over the idea of starting a band and wanted some advice from others about the best way to get things off the ground. Most offered tips and pointers they thought might be helpful to her but, as with any internet forum, there were people who flamed her and were rude right off the bat. She wasn't scared away though, which scored her some points right from the get go with me, and was able to unleash a textual smack down that should have gone down in history. From then on, she was always a presence on the board, sharing the progress of her band, and offering help to others. She was sweet and motherly, her posts always had a tone of sincerity to them. For some reason I always found myself smiling when I read her contributions.

After a while, I started to notice that lots of people came and went through the forum but there were some that were constants. We talked and interacted online often, but really knew very little about each other. So I started a section I called "The Basement" designed for the sole purpose of getting to know each other, and establishing real relationships amongst the board members, talking about things other than music so that we could get a real feel for who was on the other side of the screen.

That section quickly became the most popular part of the board and those of us who were regulars became much like a family. Again, like on all forums, those assholes were always around, and there was little I could do to keep them away. Not that I really wanted to, they kept the place interesting. AllSmiles19 caught a lot of flack from those assholes, I think because of her genuinely good nature, she made for an easy target. She never said anything ill about anyone, unless something was said about her first and then it was on. I'd never laughed so hard in my life when I read her rip another guy to shreds for saying that another member's band sucked. She hated to see other people put down, and I liked that about her. If it was possible to radiate positivity through an internet message board, she did it.

I don't know why it hadn't been done sooner, but about a year after I started "The Basement" someone got the bright idea to start a thread for people to post their pictures, so we could put a face with a personality. I could be pretty rude and crass on the forums at times so I only showed parts of my face at a time so I wouldn't be easily recognized around town; just my eyes, looking up at my ever unruly hair, just my smile, or something mildly artistic that way.

I'd get comments like "FenderStrat is so mysterious" blah blah blah. There were a fair amount of girls on the forum and I have to admit that I loved the attention I got from them. Not only was the basement quickly becoming the most popular part of the board, but it was also quickly becoming more and more sexually charged. Again, which I guess is to be expected. I thought some of the girl's were cute enough to warrant a "That's nice," or "very hot" from me in the public threads, even though I knew that there was a lot of people sending private messages to each other. Sometimes I felt like I was running a dating service. I for one never sent messages to a girl on the board, cute or not, I didn't need to use the internet to find a date.

Of course I ate my words when I saw her. AllSmiles19, took a page out of my book and posted pictures of pieces of herself too; big, round, brown eyes slightly hidden behind swoopy chocolate colored bangs; a light pink tongue sweeping suggestively over slightly parted, oh so kissable lips. I hadn't even seen her whole face and I could already tell she was the best looking chick there. For the first time ever, I broke my own unspoken rule and sent her a private message, complimenting her on her lips and made some suggestive comment about what I'm sure they could do. I clicked send before I'd even thought the message through. Immediately I felt beyond dumb. But sure enough, a few minutes later she responded back.

**AllSmiles19**: lol I can do plenty with my lips, thank you very much. Too bad you'll never know. ;)

Eh… what the hell. Where's the harm in a little online flirting?

**FenderStrat: **Too bad indeed. You left quite a bit to the imagination. I'm sure you've gotten quite a few requests to see more.

**AllSmiles19: **I have. But I trade. It's only fair. I bet all the girls have been asking to see yours as well.

**FenderStrat: **A few. But I agree, it's only fair to trade. I hope the guys have at least been polite when asking for more.

**AllSmiles19: **Some have. Some haven't. Some have gone so far as to ask for nude pictures.

**FenderStrat: **And what do you say to that?

**AllSmiles19: **It's only fair to trade. ;)

**FenderStrat: **Of course. In the spirit of fairness, I completely agree. That being said, I totally would.

**AllSmiles19: **Oh really? Good to know. I'll file that away for future reference. And that tidbit will definitely come up again later, mark my words. Until then let's start by getting to know each other a little bit. Sort of the internet equivalent of buying me dinner first. ;) I'm Bella, btw.

We talked for a few hours that day, exchanging messages back and forth while I whiled away my time at work. I learned that the 19 in her screen name was the age she was when she joined the forum, she'd just turned 20. I told her I was coming up on 24 and she playfully called me grandpa after that. Our first conversation was fairly superficial, normal "getting to know you" sort of banter: where are you from? How long have you been playing? Favorite bands? What's your family like? Stuff like that. No detail was spared. I guess I didn't feel the normal qualms about sharing things about myself that I would in a normal social setting; I didn't know her, and she didn't know me. What did I care what she thought? Ah, the beauty and anonymity of the internet.

I thought that when I left work that day, I'd probably not talk to her again, but man was I ever wrong. The next day, I logged in to find that I had a personal message waiting.

**AllSmiles19: **Morning, sunshine. How was your night?

We talked all day while I was at work and she was in class. She told me about her band, how she'd been hesitant at first but once she had gone through with it, she told me how much she loved it. She was some kind of amazing I couldn't put my finger on. I'd still only seen parts of her, but after talking to her pretty regularly for a few weeks I could confidently say that I definitely had a crush on her. Yes, a crush like you have in grade school. Lame, I know. Our conversations were flirty, she would sometimes joke about that nude picture I told her I'd be willing to send from our first conversation, but they were otherwise innocent enough.

Though flirting with her made my palms sweaty, I still dated other girls. After all, Bella lives in Seattle, I'm in San Diego, that's about 1200 miles away, give or take. Though I was beginning to like her more and more, there was no reason why I shouldn't date.

A man has needs right? Also, Mike had started dating some temp from his office named Jessica, and it was starting to get a bit lonely with only my computer to keep me warm at night.

So one night playing third wheel with Mike and Jessica, I met a cocktail waitress named Tanya. She was definitely a good looking girl; strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, killer smile, and a perfect ass; definitely a true blue, California girl. She was flirting with me, so why shouldn't I flirt back?

Her shift ended while we were still hanging out, so I invited her to join us. She was a sweet enough girl and seemed to hit it off well with Mike and Jessica so after a few drinks I asked for her number. Mike later gave me a hard time for not asking her back to my place, but that's really not my style.

Around that time, an acquaintance of mine wanted Mike and me to play a show at the opening of a new club so we called up a few guys that we'd sort of been playing with off and on to make a full band. Trying to be cool and suave, after talking to Tanya on the phone a few times I invited her out to the club to see my band play. What girl doesn't like a guy in a band, right? After promises of "putting her on the list" at the club, (I was laying it on pretty thick) she came to hear us play. I rocked out as hard as I could, tried my best to look like the coolest guy in the place, and from the look on her face as she hung back near the bar with Jessica, I knew she was hooked.

After our set, she gushed about how great we were, how she couldn't believe she'd never heard us before. She even told me that I looked incredibly sexy up on stage. I also couldn't help but notice how she took every opportunity she could to touch me, and how she stared daggers at any other girl who glanced my way. I'll admit I was pretty turned on by the idea of her staking her claim to me so quickly. She asked me about my influences, how long I'd been playing, what kind of guitars I used, and just about every question under the sun about the "band". Being the nice guy that I am, I tried to steer the conversation to talking about her, but she didn't seem to be having any of that. She only wanted to talk about me, my band, my equipment, and my songs. It was sort of nice, you know? A girl only wanting to talk about me, and not herself. She bought me drinks, she hung on my arm, and my every word and I ate every bit of that shit up. Who wouldn't?

That night, I did take her home with me. Or rather, I guess I should say she took me home. Tanya insisted that she see me home in my drunken state. I'll admit I was pretty blitzed but not completely wasted. But of course, a hot girl was volunteering to come back to my place, and I wasn't about to let my less than stellar blood alcohol level get in the way of that.

I wanted to remember this night so as Tanya drove my car, I did everything I could to sober up; I focused on the passing street signs as I gave her directions to my place, I counted street lights, I hummed along to the radio, I watched her lips move when she spoke. I had to make sure I was completely aware of what I was doing, so I didn't screw this one up in a drunken haze.

The freeway was pretty deserted, and she was driving relatively fast but the drive still seemed to be taking forever, but finally we got there. My tactics had worked to some degree, I still felt warm and loose, but my mind was more focused. Once I was out of the car, she came around to my side and put her arm around my waist.

"I'm okay to walk, really," I said with a chuckle.

"I know," was her reply, and she tightened her grip around me.

Mustering all the composure I could, I took my keys from her and unlocked the front door of the little house I shared with Mike. He was no doubt spending the night at Jessica's. He was a great wingman, like that.

I tried to play it cool at first. I didn't want to come on too strong, but who was I kidding? I hadn't had a decent lay in months, and Tanya was hot and looked like she knew her way around between the sheets. I was definitely going to enjoy this, but still – had to play it cool. I asked her if she wanted anything to drink to which she said she was fine.

What to do, what to do…

The room was starting go off kilter so I sat down on the couch and leaned my head back against the wall with my eyes closed.

Pull it together, Cullen. There is a smokin' hot chick here, don't blow it.

I heard a noise from elsewhere in the room, it sounded like something hitting the floor, followed by a few footsteps, then the springs on the couch next to me creaking. Next thing I knew there was a pair of legs straddling my lap, and warm lips on my neck. I exhaled loudly and relaxed further into the cushions. Whatever she was doing felt incredible; warm, wet kisses traveled up my neck to my ear and along my jaw. I placed my hands on back of her thighs and let them travel upward, over her tight ass, her back and shoulders and into her hair. She moaned against my skin, but with my buzz the sound struck me as odd; too exaggerated, almost. Whatever, I chalked it up to her being a little tipsy as well. Her kisses became more urgent, more sloppy. I must have gotten lost in my thoughts for a moment and wasn't responding the way she'd like, and she whimpered like a puppy against my skin. To make up for it, I tightened my grip on her hair and pulled gently, just enough to let her know I was still with her.

She let out a sharp gasp, then a high pitched giggle before whispering in my ear, "Oh you _are_ a bad boy, aren't you?"

Wow, she's trying _really_ hard. No worries, just go with it.

I let my fingers slide through her hair; it was thin and straight, but soft. She let out another exaggerated moan as she moved to the other side of my neck. I opened my eyes and saw my fingers tangled into dark, chocolate brown strands.

The light or lack there of, must be playing tricks on my eyes.

Suddenly, Tanya was attacking my mouth with hard, rushed assaults from her lips, and I was forced to push what I thought I'd seen out of my mind. She cupped my face in her hands and parted my lips with her tongue. I reciprocated her movements but I have to admit her enthusiasm was rather intimidating.

Fuck it. Just do this.

I moved my hands back down her body to her ass, and in one quick movement I stood up, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I took us both through the darkness into my bedroom. I dropped her almost haphazardly on the bed, and she immediately started to go to work on removing my pants. Had I been sober, it probably would have occurred to me to remind her that I'd just played in a hot club and hadn't showered, but tonight that kind of courtesy didn't matter. Practically before I had a chance to blink my jeans and boxers were around my ankles and she was going to work.

I couldn't deny that her lips felt good wrapped around me, and she definitely knew what she was doing. My head fell back as I took in the feeling of every caress her tongue and lips made against my cock.

"Edward," she said with a slight pop of her lips. "Look at me."

My head snapped up, and I looked down just in time to see the head of my cock disappear between a set of familiar, full pink lips, and a pair of warm brown eyes looking up at me.

Something isn't right.

I blinked hard to clear my head, and looked back down to see thin, painted, red lips, and blue eyes smiling up at me.

Since when does being drunk make you hallucinate?

Something was seriously malfunctioning in my brain, and I needed it to stop. To refocus on the situation in front of me, I stood Tanya up and started removing her clothes, piece by piece. Not that were was a whole lot to remove. While I worked at the thin, flimsy fabric of her midriff bearing shirt and denim mini skirt, she pulled my sticky t-shirt over my head so that I was now standing naked and at attention in front of her.

I let my hands explore her body; it was tight and hard – every part of her. She was thin, and her hip bones jutted out at sharp angles. Her breasts were hard and obviously fake; I could even feel the seam of the implant as I rolled it around in my hand. Without any clothes to obstruct my view, her tits looked like two perfectly round grapefruits sitting on her chest. I suppressed a shudder, but was distracted again by her breathy whisper in my ear, "Fuck me, Edward," she pleaded in a pouty voice she no doubt intended to be sexy, but it came out whinier than anything else.

My brain was sober enough then to realize I wasn't really into this anymore, but other parts of me hadn't quite caught on yet. She leaned back on my bed and spread her legs.

"Come here, lover," she said with a curl of her finger.

I lowered myself down on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around my waist like a python and started to squeeze. It was uncomfortable, and incredibly unsexy but I'd come this far… too far to stop now, anyway. Luckily I was coherent enough to grab a condom out of my nightstand.

I got the thing on myself and prepared to take the plunge and she growled at me. Literally growled. And not like a primal, "please fuck me now," kind of sound. It was more like deranged feral cat.

Get in, get out. Note to self, there will _not_ be a second date with this one.

The entire time we were having sex, I couldn't get past her strange behavior; she started out moaning softly once I'd penetrated her, which was nice, but that quickly turned into high pitched hoots with every thrust, interlaced with dialog from what had to be the raunchiest porn flick ever made. I couldn't stop; I couldn't be _that guy_ who couldn't at least finish the job so I buried my face into the crook of her neck and focused all of my efforts on getting it over with.

I could feel my orgasm starting to build, thank god, so I gripped the sheets and picked up the pace for the home stretch.

"Yes, baby. Yes. Cum for mama," she panted in my ear. I rolled my eyes and speed up further, almost at my breaking point with her.

Finally, I peaked and experienced what was quite possibly the most anticlimactic orgasm of my life. I was happier that it was over than I was to have gotten off. I rolled off of her, sweaty and out of breath, onto the pillow beside her. Normally, I took almost greater pleasure in pleasing the girl I was with and didn't rest until she'd gotten off at least once herself, but this time I just wanted to pretend that it had all been a bad dream.

I felt her roll over and cuddle up next to me with her head on my chest, but I didn't open my eyes.

"You're amazing," she cooed in a sickly sweet voice that was really beginning to grate on my nerves.

And then I used the oldest, lamest line in the book.

"I've really got to be up early in the morning, so… yeah, I've got to get some sleep." Hoping she'd take the hint and leave, I remembered that we'd taken my car. Shit. And I was too tired, and too pissed off to get up and drive back across town right now.

"Its okay baby, I understand. You rest all you need. I know I'm going to need all that I can get after the workout you just gave me," she giggled and nuzzled herself even closer to me. And all I could think was "Work out? All you did was lay there and howl like a banshee, devil woman!"

Whatever, I made my bed and now I had to lay in it so to speak. At least for tonight. So I fell asleep with the most disappointing lay of my life next to me.

In the morning I woke up, stiff and grumpy and looked at the sleeping body beside me. To my surprise I wasn't completely revolted by her in the light of day. Tanya really was a pretty girl; her hair was messy and matted to her forehead, her lipstick and eye shadow had rubbed off in her sleep and she actually looked quite peaceful and innocent.

Now that's the kind of girl I want to wake up next to every morning, innocent and sweet. A line from some rap song popped into my head just then, "I want a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed." Yep, that pretty much summed it up. Tanya was a freak alright, but a fake one. She tried too hard to be "naughty" and she just came off comical and irritating.

Now comes the part I hate; the awkward drive back to her car. The obligatory, "I'll call you," line, with absolutely no intention of doing so. Hopefully with the clarity of sobriety she'd realize that it had been awful too, and we could just go our separate ways and save face.

I slid out from under her sleeping frame and set to work showering and getting dressed. It was still early, so I didn't wake her just yet. But I took the extra precaution of taking my clothes into the bathroom with me and locking the door out of fear that she might ambush me with a proposition of a second round. When I emerged from the bathroom, she was just beginning to stir in bed.

"Good Morning sexy," she yawned. I rolled my eyes.

"Good Morning yourself," I said back in the most polite tone I could muster. "I should probably be getting you back to your car pretty soon. I've got, uhh… a full agenda today."

"No problem," she said with a smile, and flung the blanket off of herself revealing her naked body. I averted my eyes down to the carpet as she got out of bed and walked over to where I stood. "No need to be shy now, Edward," she purred, placing a lingering kiss on my lips.

I had no idea what to say or do without being rude, so I just stood there lamely.

"You're too cute," she giggled girlishly and set about collecting her clothes from around the room.

After she was dressed and in the car, I drove her back to the club where I'd played the night before. A red Audi was the only car parked in the lot so I assumed that was hers.

"Edward," she said after our silent drive, "I had a fantastic time with you last night. Thank you for inviting me out. I really hope we can do it again sometime." Her voice was quiet, composed, and sincere. Where had this girl been last night?

"Yeah, sure," I muttered less than convincingly. She leaned across the console of my Volvo and kissed me softly on the cheek, and slinked out of the car. I watched her pull out of the parking lot and exhaled loudly. The best thing I could do would be to lose her number and fast.

When I got home, Mike was just getting in from Jessica's and he drilled me about how the night had gone with Tanya. I told him every gory detail to which he reacted to by nearly rolling on the floor with laughter.

"Oh lover, you're such a bad boy," he said in a breathy, high pitched voice while batting his eyelashes.

"Seriously man, it's not funny. I think I might have some mental trauma to get over after that."

A week or so went by and I didn't call her. I'd pretty much put the whole terrible experience out of my mind, until one night I made plans to play third wheel to Mike and Jessica, again, at dinner downtown and I got a call from Mike on my way over.

"I have to tell you something but you have to promise not to freak out," Mike said over the phone.

"What is it?"

"Jessica invited Tanya to dinner tonight."

"Fuck! Why the hell would she do that?!"

"They hit it off at the club that night. Jess has been burning up her cell phone minutes like its going out of style with her all week. The two of them, dude… you've created a monster."

"Shit, I'm going home."

"No, dude you can't. She knows you're coming, if you bail its going to be all awkward and shit. Just come, be your normal, charming self and it'll be fine."

"That's what got me in this mess in the first place."

"Don't be such a baby. Suck it up and come on. I'll buy you a drink."

"You'd better make it a fucking double." And with that I hung up the phone. Here's to a fantastic evening…

My blackberry buzzed in my hand before I'd even had a chance to put it down. _What is it now…_

1 New Email from AllSmiles19. Despite the shitty situation I was driving into, a reluctant smile spread across my face.

_ - Hey Stranger, where ya been? I've missed you. _

It hit me just then that with the aftermath of the Tanya debacle, and being swamped at work I hadn't talked to Bella since… god, I couldn't remember when the last time was.

At the next stop light, I sent a quick email back.

_You're right; it's been far too long. I've missed you too. I real__ly wish I had more time to talk, but I'm a bit preoccupied at the moment. _

The light turned green, and I pressed send. Before I'd driven another mile, it vibrated again; another message from her.

_ - Hot date?_

Oh how I wished.

_Hot isn't exactly the right way to describe it, but it's more or less a date. Unfortunately. _

_ - Aww… poor baby. Not looking forward to it? Give me your number and I'll keep texting you all night. She'll get pissed and never call you again. Problem solved. _

I laughed at first but then got to thinking that that really wasn't such a bad idea. How exactly do you go about telling someone that the reason you hadn't called them was because they were lousy, and downright scary in bed? It wasn't a conversation I'd ever planned on having with her, but it looked like I was going to have to now. But if I was distracted by my phone through dinner, maybe she'd just assume I wasn't interested, take a hint, and bow out with some dignity.

_Would you __actually do that for me?_

_ - Lol of course, babe. Whatever you need. This must be one hell of a heinous setup. _

_You have no idea. Give me about 20 minutes, then start texting me. Anything. I don't care what it is. _

_ - You got it. :)  
_

I sent her my number and drove the rest of the way to the restaurant noticeably more at ease.

When I got to the trendy little bistro, I couldn't help but make the observation that this place was so not my scene. This was the kind of place where it was more important to be seen there than to actually eat there. I hated it already. This wasn't exactly Mike's thing either, but he's like a lost puppy when it came to Jessica; he'd follow her anywhere. And there they were, Mike, Jessica and Tanya, sitting out on the veranda underneath some hanging vines and Chinese lanterns. Mike and Jessica sat on one side of the table while Tanya sat next to an empty chair on the other side.

Here goes nothin'…

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late," I said, sitting down in the empty chair.

"No problem man, just hurry up and look at the menu. I'm starved," Mike said with a pat of his stomach.

"It's good to see you again, Edward." I jumped at the feeling of Tanya's warm breath directly against my ear. I turned abruptly to see her face just inches from mine, smiling devilishly.

"Uhh… yeah. Good to see you too, Tanya," I hesitantly said back.

"I'm sure you've been busy leading the rockstar life and all, so I forgive you for not calling," she purred.

Suppressing a shudder, I heard my phone vibrate on the table.

"Yeah, that's me. Rockstar life. Excuse me." I quickly turned my face away from how close hers was from mine, and snatched up my blackberry. Sure enough, a new text message from a phone number with a 206 area code. Seattle. Bella.

_ - So, is it quite as bad as __you were expecting?_

_It seems to be, yes. Kill me?_

_ - Not a chance. This is a good character building exercise, gramps ;)_

_You're full of shit, you know that? Believe me; if you knew her you wouldn't blame me. _

After a few exchanged messages I finally looked back up to the others at the table. Tanya and Jessica were staring at me like I'd just murdered someone, and Mike sported an amused smirk.

"Uhh… sorry."

"Anyway," Jessica said with a roll of her eyes.

"So, Edward when are you guys playing again? Anytime soon?" Tanya placed a hand of manicured red fingernails on my forearm as she spoke.

"Probably not anytime really soon, actually. We're far from ready to play in front of crowds on any sort of regular basis," I said, glancing down at my phone as it buzzed again.

Tanya giggled flirtatiously and gripped my arm tighter. "Oh Edward, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You guys were fantastic last week. I would totally be your groupie."

Mike choked on the bourbon and coke he was drinking, sending splatters of liquid across the table. I had to suppress a snort myself, and covered with a nervous laugh.

_ - Let me guess… your typical superficial, fake California chick? Tell me, is she orange? I hear girls down your way are all orange. I don't know about you, but I like my dates to look like citrus. _

_Stop it! I want to come off disinterested, not a complete ass by laughing in her face. _

_ - Oh she is, isn't she! That's priceless. Check her palms, that's the tell tale sign. _

"I mean the way you handled your guitar up there, it was just so incredibly _sexy_." Tanya's voice brought me back to the present, and I glanced over to where her hand was still firmly attached to my arm, and sure enough there were unnatural orange speckles between her fingers. I couldn't help the laugh that slipped past my carefully constructed self control.

The girls looked at me quizzically again, and Mike took another long sip from his glass, obviously trying to hide a smirk.

"I'm sorry, Tanya. What were you saying?" I coughed.

"I was just saying that you guys are just too good to be unknowns. And you, well you need to share your sexiness with the world. I get first crack at you though," she giggled, suggestively.

Ignoring her comment, I shook off her hand and flagged down a waitress. After I'd placed my order my phone buzzed again.

_ - Uh oh, did I lose you to the allure of the spray tan? Or are you just taking a second to check that I'm right. _

_Damn you, and your rightness. _

_ - You poor thing. I bet she's got plastic tits to boot, huh? You Californians are so predictable. _

_Not this Californian. I don't have fake tits, nor to a like them or want them. _

_ - Well I hope you don't have fake tits! That would totally ruin this for me. __So you're a naturalist? I think we'd get along just fine. _

"Edward!" My head snapped up at hearing my name. "Why don't you try talking to your friends instead of texting all night," Jessica spat. I knew she didn't think the highest of me and now that I was being rude to her new BFF certainly didn't earn me any points with my best friend's girl. But in all honesty, I didn't care. All I was worried about was being rid of Tanya.

"Sorry, Jess. Duty calls you know."

"Yeah, because your job regularly text messages you all through dinner," she sneered.

"Duty, doesn't necessarily mean work," I said back with a condescending grin. "Don't mind me, guys. Talk amongst yourselves. I'm listening," and went back to tapping away at my phone. I almost felt bad for being rude to Jessica. Almost. But if that's what I had to do, that's what I had to do. She'd get over it.

_You think? No silicone parts on you then?_

_ - Not a chance. 36D. All natural. They're spectacular and not orange. _

_Is that so?_

_ - Yes, that is totally so. Perhaps I should show you? Then you'd definitely be distracted. _

I gulped. Surely she's not serious. She's right though, I'd never let this phone out of my sight again if she sent that.

"And I said to him, this is absolutely last season so don't even try to pass this off as something brand new." Tanya finished her story and she and Jessica giggled like a couple of hens.

"Heh, funny. Last season. Yeah," I chimed in.

_You've got class, so I wouldn't ask for something like that but you have no idea how right you are. Distracted wouldn't even be the half of it. Distracted, turned on, frustrated, etc. _

Mike sat quietly pretending to listen to the girls chatter away while he sucked down drink after drink, and I kept glancing down at the phone every few seconds, but it stayed silent for an agonizingly long time. While I tried to figure out what I could have said that might have offended her or scared her away, I smiled and nodded at Tanya and Jessica's conversation about shoes, or purses or some other mindless topic.

While the girls were engrossed in their own conversation, Mike kicked me to get my attention, and leaned across the table.

"Who the fuck are you texting? Don't leave me alone with all this girl talk, man!"

"I'll explain later. It's all part of the plan. Normally, you know I'd rescue you, but tonight you're going to have to take one for the team." Mike sat back in his chair and grumbled into his glass.

More time passed and still nothing. I wondered whether or not I should text her and apologize for whatever I did, because offending her was the last thing I wanted to do. But I thought if I actually _had_ pissed her off somehow, she probably wouldn't want me pestering her.

The food came, and I reluctantly resigned myself to the fact that Bella wasn't going to respond and joined in the mundane conversation with the other people at the table. I was famished, but I'd all but lost my appetite now. Still, I picked at my meal to make it at least look like I'd eaten something.

My mood continued to sour as time dragged on. Mike tried to talk to me, but I wasn't much for conversation. All I wanted to do was get out of here and talk to Bella to try and figure out what I'd done, and explain that whatever it was it was just a misunderstanding.

Should I text her? I've got her number, maybe I should call her? Would that be creepy? Fuck…

_Buzz_.

My heart jumped into my throat and I nearly knocked my water glass over when I heard the sound I'd been missing for close to an hour.

_ - Sorry about that, didn't mean to leave you hanging. I got tied up on the phone, and then an impromptu photo shoot. But I'm a perfectionist and couldn't quite get exactly what I wanted__ so it took a while. _

_Photo shoot? For?_

Jessica cleared her throat loudly, and banged her glass down on the table.

_ - For you, of course. Is this ample distraction? _

I scrolled down a little further and sure enough, attached to the text was a photo of the most incredible cleavage I think I've ever seen. Little pearly teeth held one of her gorgeously swollen lips between them, leading my eye down the creamy, smooth skin of her throat and down to breasts that practically spilled out of a royal blue, satin bra. I bit my own lip at the sight, and sunk down in my chair.

_I'm sorry, what? I think I may have forgotten how to breathe for a minute there. _

_ - That was my plan all along. Death by tit pic. Muahahahaha! _

_I didn't think you were actually serious about that. You almost gave me a heart attack. _

_ - Oops. My bad :P_

_Yeah, you seem real torn up about it lol. Dinner's almost over, give me a little while and you'll have my complete and undivided attention. _

I stashed my phone safely in my pocket, and quickly scarfed down the contents of the plate in front of me, my appetite suddenly returning with a vengeance.

"Wow, Eddie. I didn't think you'd be so excited about this," Tanya asked with a cocked eyebrow. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or anything."

"About what?" I said with a mouth full of food.

"Umm… hello? Earth to Eddie. We're going out, silly. Weren't you listening?" she giggled, while running her finger tips suggestively up and down the top of my thigh.

"Obviously not," Jessica mumbled.

"Out?" I faltered.

"Yes, out. Like, dancing. I want to feel those strong arms around me again." Tanya leaned over the arm of her chair so that I could see right down her top, and through the unnaturally wide gap between her breasts.

"Oh, sorry I can't. Something's come up."

"Aww… come on. Just one dance, pretty please?" She batted her eyelashes at me, and I smiled back curtly.

"You know Tanya, I'd love to. Really. But this is kind of important." I passed my credit card to the waitress when she came back by the table.

"Do you want me to come over and hang out while you're doing whatever is it that you're doing?" She was obviously grasping at straws for any way to spend more time with me. At that moment, I felt a slight pang of guilt in my gut but quickly brushed it aside when I remembered the last time she'd come over.

"Thanks but no thanks, Tanya. I'd be terrible company tonight. I've got tons to do, really. Raincheck though." The words were out of my mouth before I could reel them back in and I saw her eyes light up with excitement.

"It's a date," she said softly.

"Sure." I waved goodbye to the rest of the table and hurried out to my car.

_I'm all yours now._

_ - I like the sound of that ;) _

_I didn't think you were serious about that picture._

_ - I'll admit, I've had a few drinks and my inhibitions are a little down. Plus, I trust you. _

_Didn't your parents ever tell you not to trust strangers?_

_ - I've been talking to you for over a year, you're no stranger._

_Still, that was the last thing I ever expected from you._

_ - One thing you should know about me. I'm pretty shy in person but there are two places I feel completely uninhibited; behind the mic and behind a keyboard. And in th__is case, a cell phone. _

I don't recommend texting while driving, but I wanted to talk to her as much as I could. I tried to keep it to just while I was stopped, but it didn't exactly work out that way. I was too anxious to keep things going.

_Good to know. For the first time ever, I think I'm glad there's a keyboard between us right now. _

_ - First time ever?_

_I'm not going to lie and say I've never wished we lived closer to each other._

_ - I not going to either._

_So you're drinking by yourself tonight? In just your bra no less? _

_ - Yes actually. I didn't feel like going out, but I did however feel like drinking. Lucky for me I have quite the stash, and you were available to keep me company. _

_I think the lucky one is me for getting quite the eyeful. _

_ - Remember, we had an agreement of fairness._

_So we did. What exactly would you like in return?_

My fingers tapped the keys on my blackberry with almost lightning quickness. Almost as soon as I'd sent something, I'd receive something back from her as well. And every time my insides would jump just a bit with excitement.

I've seriously got to calm down. It's just a damn text message.

_ - You said it yourself, I've got class so I'm not going to come right out and ask. But you know what I want. _

Is she really asking for what I think she's asking for? I thought for a moment about what to do next. Playing it cool was definitely the best course of action here. Though I felt completely ridiculous doing it, I went to the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror wondering what I should do. Finally, I decided that since she sent me a picture of her chest, I'd send her a picture of mine. It wasn't exactly what I think she was hoping for, but I didn't think she'd be disappointed either. I mean, I take care of myself. When your best friend growing up is a star athlete, it's pretty much inevitable that he'd drag me to the gym with him too, and I'm damn proud of the results.

I felt silly taking pictures of my bare torso in my bathroom mirror, like I was some attention hungry, myspace whore, but whatever. I couldn't be outdone. So I snapped a few, chose the best looking one, sent it her way, and waited.

A moment or two passed before my phone vibrated again.

_ - My clothes are in need of washing. Care to lend me your abs for a while? _

_Haha, you're welcome to come down here and use them any way you like__._

_ - I might just take you up on that. _

_I'm having a hard time picturing you sitting there drinking alone. Nobody as beautiful and sexy as you should ever drink alone. _

_ - Well aren't you the charmer? If you were drinking too, I wouldn't be drinking alone. _

_Now that I'm home, that can be arranged. A toast; to venturing into unknown territory. May it prove to be worth while for the both of us. _

_ - I'll drink to that__. What's your poison?_

_Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, yours?_

_ - Rum and Coke. You're drinking beer, I'm drinking liquor. You've got some catching up to do. _

_If I didn't know better, I'd think you're trying to get me drunk._

_ - Me? Never. brb gotta throw on a shirt on and run out to my car real quick to grab something. _

_Aww… shirt back on? That's unfortunate. ;) _

I got up and walked around the empty house. It was completely dark outside, and though the desert air was cooler now than it had been all day, the heat was still stifling. Mike and I kept the windows open to conserve energy and keep the cost of living down, but the heat wave was beginning to get unbearable. I could feel sweat beginning to form on my forehead and chest and turned on a fan to get some relief. The night air was enough to make anyone sweat, but that coupled with a very sexually tense conversation with a hot girl and I thought my brain was going to boil.

_ - It's raining buckets here. I got soaked going out to my car! _

_You__ might want to get out of those clothes. We wouldn't want you to catch cold now, would we? _

_ - Way ahead of you__. __I just stripped down and I'm sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket right now, shivering_.

_Hmmmm..too bad I wasn't able to help you out of those wet clothes._

_ - Tell me about it. _

_I think I will… I__ can imagine them now, clinging to you-skin tight… having to peel them off... and then the inevitable full body closeness to warm you up...._

_ - Nothing warms quite like body heat. I'd love to be warmed up right now_.

I stared at her last message for a moment, and then glanced over at the growing number of empty beer bottles on the coffee table. Maybe it was my buzz overtaking my brain, but I could swear that she was actually asking me to "warm her up." I read back through a few of her messages and everything seemed to be leading in this direction. Even in text form, the sexual tension between us was palpable. What the hell…

_Well, then I would have to throw my arms around you, naked of course, to ensure the best heat transfer, and take your nipples one by one into my mouth, flicking them with my tongue to warm them up... of course my hands would be rubbing all over your body, from the backs of your thighs up onto your ass, to your lower back and shoulders.. if this didn't work, we could always lay you out on your bed, cover you with a blanket, and I could go under said blanket, manually warming various body parts with my mouth.._

And the wait begins. If I had sent that message to someone I didn't really care about, it wouldn't matter to me what she thought, or if she told me to fuck right off for being a pervy asshole. But Bella was a completely different story. I didn't want her to think badly of me, but at the same time the mind is by far the most intense erogenous zone and on the off chance that she wouldn't respond with the textual equivalent of a slap in the face, this opened the door to some serious mind stimulation.

I waited, and waited, and waited for what seemed like ages. Until…

_ - The think your mouth would warm me nicely. However, I think you'll find that some places are warmer than others._

Well, she didn't tell me to go fuck myself so that's at least a good sign. Playing coy, I think, maybe one more little push in that direction…

_So your core temp is still good? Hmm… well then_

_With the blanket still over me, I would delve into your pussy, finding that it was indeed a lot warmer than the rest of you. And furthermore, wetter as well. My tongue slithers its way as deep into you as it can. You feel my hands moving over your thighs, up your belly and to your heaving breasts. They begin to cup and knead as much of you as can fit in them, pressing them together. You feel kisses on your labia, and then a tongue parting your pussy lips and working its way up your slit, to your clit. I lick up and down you a few more times, with my hands still massaging your wonderfully supple tits.... my tongue plunges into you one last time to taste your honey.. I kiss your pussy, your clit, working my way up you... your belly button, the skin just below your tits, where my hands are still exploring. With my hands I pull your tits to my face, and begin to lick, bite and suck on them. My cock hovering just inches above your pussy radiates heat onto you. You can feel it getting closer to your wet, quivering slit, the head gently brushes your clit-a graze that sends pleasure up your spine, causing your scalp to tingle. Just as it subsides, you feel yourself being filled. My head comes out from under the blanket and I begin passionately kissing you, biting your lip, sucking your tongue and backs of your teeth. My hands come out and grab your face on the sides, pulling it closer to mine as my thrust has reached it deepest point. I can't physically be any closer to you at this point… flesh pressed against flesh... heat and lust consuming us both…_

It was perhaps the longest text message I've ever sent, and it took me several minutes to type out. I'd close my eyes for brief moments and picture it; imagine that I was actually in the situation I was describing to her and what I'd do next. The more I thought about it, the more my imagination seemed to run away with me, and the more I could feel the effects of my dirty mind on my own body. I leaned my head back and thought, playing the words over and over again in my head, picturing a naked body of that same smooth, creamy skin I'd seen in her picture. I could almost feel the heat radiating off of her in my mind. I could almost hear her soft sighs of pleasure. I could almost feel her squirm with excitement beneath me. I wondered what she was thinking at that moment; if she was as turned on as I was, how she was going to respond.

After several minutes of reveling in my own dirty fantasy, my phone vibrated in my hand. I sat there staring at the screen for a long moment, without opening the message, dreading the thought of being rejected by her. But if I didn't check, I'd never know.

_ - You hold that position for a moment, and I can feel you throbbing inside of me, and my pussy throbbing around you. Your warm skin heats every part of me, every inch of me it comes in contact with as your mouth still gently but passionately probes mine. I kiss you back with equal fervor. I know we can't be any closer than we already are, but still I crave more. My arms wrap around your neck tightly and my hands find their way up the back of your neck and tangle into your hair. I pull slightly at the roots, pouring every ounce of lust I have for you into that simple kiss. I wrap my legs around you, my heels resting on your ass. You slowly start to move your hips against mine, slow deep thrusts into my pussy. Our mouths never part and I let out a soft moan against your lips while my heels dig into your ass spurring you to go deeper and deeper with each movement. _

_ Finally, I feel like I can't breath and I break our kiss to come up for air. My head tilts back, exposing the smooth, skin of my neck which you immediately attack with your mouth, kissing and sucking on every inch you can touch then moving downward to my heaving breasts pressed between us and back up again. My fingers still in your hair, I pull you back up to my mouth and kiss you again. I kiss along your jaw to your ear and gently bite your ear lobe and whisper, "tell me how good it feels to be inside me" as my warm breath caresses your skin._

God, that was so fucking hot. What was a just a mild stiffness in my boxers before was now a raging hard on. Knowing that she was thinking about me the same way I was thinking about her, I wanted to practically explode with frustration. I felt like my body was on fire and the heat I was feeling had absolutely nothing to do with the lack of air conditioning. She left it opened ended… she wants me to keep going…

"_Like heaven", I whisper back into your ear, as I drive into you further. My hands move along to your hair, pulling your head closer to me. I tell you that I want you to cum and that I want to taste it. My head lifts up off of yours and I begin fucking you at full speed, my pelvis slamming up against your clit with every thrust. I feel you getting tighter around me. So swollen, and dripping, I feel you getting warmer and warmer, until I can't take it anymore and cum inside of you. I'm still so turned on that I immediately pull out of you and quickly slide back down to your pussy, licking out every bit of the both of us, before coming back up to kiss you deeply and passionately. My face is covered in our juices, which you lick off of me-sharing in every last drop. We are both warmed to the point of sweating. I lick the saltiness off of your body and begin eating your still hot and trembling pussy. I want your juices all over my face. I want to be able to smell you every time I breathe in. I smother myself in your pussy and pull your legs close around my head. Your back arches and my hands work their way up to your heaving breasts and begin to pinch and pull at your nipples, my tongue sliding in and out of you, all round you. _

I don't know where it came from; it was so primal and depraved. But I liked it. I imagined the flavor of her in my mouth, the way her body would move almost involuntarily against me, the sweat glistening on her soft skin. I couldn't even help the fact that my hand made its way down to release my cock from my jeans, and began to stroke it. I concentrated as hard as I could on the vivid picture in my mind's eye and blocked out everything else around me. I was so focused on my fantasy that I almost missed it when my phone went off again.

_ - I cover your hands with mine as we both pleasure my nipples. I'm moaning now, panting, and sighing. I try to tell you how incredible your tongue feels on my pussy but I'm so overwhelmed by pleasure that my mouth can't form the words. All I can do is lick my lips and taste us both, heightening the sensation you're giving me knowing that that is what you taste too. I squeeze your hands harder around my tits and manage to make out the words, "please... make me... cum... please" You delve further into my folds, furiously flicking my clit with your tongue until I'm writhing in pleasure. My hips buck wildly against your face spreading my liquid silk over your cheeks, mouth, and chin. Your hands move from my breasts to my hips, and your fingers dig into the flesh there in an attempt to hold me still while you work. "Please," I beg again, more desperate this time. When I thought your tongue couldn't move any faster or feel any better, you pick up the pace still and I'm pushed over the edge. My back arches again as my moans resonate around the room. My clit quivers against your tongue sending shockwave after shockwave of unparalleled pleasure through every inch of my body. Once I start to come down, and the euphoria subsides you start the task of cleaning me up. Licking every surface of my pussy clean of my juices and what's left of yours. You slide your sweaty body against mine as you come up for another kiss, our flavors renewed in my mouth as our lips touch._

_Can I call you?_

_ - Yes please. _

I sat there thinking for a moment, replaying the scenario back in my mind. My cock was throbbing so hard in my hand it was aching; I needed a release. It had been ages since I'd been anywhere near this turned on, and it was all thanks to a girl well over a thousand miles away, no less. That thought alone was frustrating in an entirely different sense. All that aside, I wanted to hear her voice. I wanted to hear if her voice was husky and deep when she was turned on, or if it was softy and breathy, or perhaps something entirely different.

I took a deep breath and dialed the number. After a few rings, the sexiest voice I'd ever heard picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" she asked tentatively, her voice soft and controlled.

"Hey… its Edward," I said back, nerves creeping into the edge of my voice. I heard her release a long breath.

"Edward,… you're very, very bad, you know that?" The control on her voice relaxing, and settling into a warm, breathy tone that simply dripped sex.

"Sometimes bad is good, right?" I said in reply, letting the sound of her voice wrap around me like a blanket.

"Sometimes bad is very good. Times like these."

"I was hoping you'd feel that way, because I sure as hell do."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yeah. Finding a woman who's got as filthy of a mind as I do is rare indeed."

"I do have a dirty mind – when properly motivated. It doesn't just happen. You should consider yourself lucky."

"I'd be lucky if you were anywhere near as turned on as I am right now."

"How turned on are you?" she asked, her voice dropping a bit in pitch as the words came across the line.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say about 15. You've got me absolutely throbbing right now, Bella."

"Say it again, my name. Say it again."

"Bella,…" the simple, small word felt incredible on my tongue, just as I'm sure she would as well. I could hear her let out a shuddering breath before she spoke again.

"I don't know what it is, but it's just so sexy to hear you say that. As if you could get me any hotter than I am right now…"

"I could try," I said unabashedly.

"And how would you do that?"

Throwing what shred of caution I still retained to the wind, I whispered, "Touch yourself, and do exactly as I tell you."

She whimpered softly into the phone, and I could tell she was seriously considering it.

"Bella, I want you. I think you want me too --"

"Mmhmm"

"Then touch yourself, and imagine that it's my hand. Imagine that it's my fingers gently caressing your clit, touching it so softly you can barely feel it, teasing you. Can you do that for me, Bella?" I hardly recognized my own voice; it was so steeped in lust and desire.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Good girl. I want you to think about my fingers tracing your folds, every outline of your sweet little pussy. I'd let one finger slide inside of you. God, you're so wet, Bella. And then another, sliding them in and out of you until I can feel you start to get tighter around me. And then, when I know you're getting close I press my thumb up against your clit like it's a hot little button until you cum all over my fingers." I started to stroke myself again, thinking about giving her pleasure and I could hear her breathing quicken. Soft sighs and moans escaped her lips and I knew that she really was touching herself.

"Bella," I whispered, softly but with an authoritative tone, "I want you to cum for me. With my fingers inside you, I want you to cum for me."

"Edward, I" she whimpered.

"Bella, concentrate. I want you so badly. I wish I were there doing this to you myself, but I can't be. Please gorgeous, just cum for me. I want to hear it." Her panting increased and grew in volume.

"Edward," she breathed.

"Bella," I said back, letting her name roll off of my tongue slowly and delicately. There was a moment of near silence and then I heard it; the sound of her orgasm. Moans and sighs wrapped around breathy variations of my name. I stayed quiet, just listening to the sounds of her pleasure and absorbing the tingles of excitement each of her little mewls sent down my spine.

"Edward," she rasped, completely out of breath.

"Fuck Bella, that was so hot, I really wish –" my phone interrupted my sentence with a loud beeping sound. I pulled it away from my ear, drops of my own sweat glistening on the screen, to see why it had done that just in time to see the screen go black, and the phone vibrate one last time before shutting off.

Shit! I mashed buttons frantically and the screen flickered to life only to flash the ominous message, "Charge battery" before fading to black again. I got up and dashed to my room where my charger was as quickly as I could with my jeans practically around my ankles. I must have looked like a complete idiot. I plugged it in and turned it back on. As soon as it came to life, a text message appeared.

_ - Umm... ok? I'm going to bed now. I guess I'll catch you around._

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I could have sent her a text message back, surely she wasn't asleep already. But I had a feeling she was annoyed thinking I'd just abandoned her, and she'd probably turn her phone off. Instead, I grabbed my laptop off of my bedside table and sent her an email:

_I'm so sorry, Bella. My phone battery died. Believe me, it was super hot for me. Please don't be angry. Call me when you get this. –Edward._

My euphoric high had burnt off with the malfunction of my stupid phone, but I was still in dire need of release. So I made my way to my bathroom for a cool shower and a reflection on the night's events.

* * *

Sooooo yeah, this wasn't exactly where I wanted to end this chapter because we're not quite up the the present yet, but it was getting a bit long.

So dirty, huh? Like you haven't fooled around with someone online. Come on, admit it! Both are only human, and attracted to each other, albiet from afar. Anywho, REVIEW! I'll love you forever.

Musical inspiration for this chapter is Attention by The Raconteurs, Like a Drug by Queens of the Stone Age, and Just a Little Heat by The Black Keys


	3. Chapter 3

Hi! Here's the third installment of this little story. Truth be told I really like this one so much more than any of the others I've written and I hope you all do as well. Please review! It makes me immensely happy and I might just be inclined to update more often if you do :)

* * *

Days went by before I heard from Bella again. Six agonizing days, to be exact. When I didn't hear from her after a while, I tried emailing her. Nothing. I tried texting her. Nothing. I tried calling her. Nothing. I left her a message practically begging her to get back with me in some way or another; at least so that I knew she was alright. Finally, on the sixth day I logged onto the forum at work and I had a private message waiting for me.

_Edward, I'm really not mad at you. I'm more embarrassed with myself than anything else. Something like what we did is so unlike me, and I attribute most of my actions to the fact that I'd been drinking. But when you left like that, no matter what the circumstances were, I sobered up pretty quickly and realized what I'd done. You know as well as I do that I'm no angel, but I just don't do things like that. I swear I'm not mad at you, and I don't blame you. Hell, I practically baited you into it so if anyone is to blame it's me. Don't be surprised if I don't come around as much for a while. I feel a little bit awkward about the whole situation. I'll talk to you soon. – Bella. _

I was conflicted as to how to react to her message. Disappointment came first. Then, anger. I could understand her embarrassment. I really could, but what about me? Did she think that I went around trying to have, for lack of a better term, "cyber sex" with every girl I talked to online? And as completely unfamiliar as it was for me too, I liked it and I know she did as well. Who was it hurting? We were both single people who had a mutual attraction to each other. If we lived in the same city, what we'd talked about could have been done in person, but because our circumstances left us miles apart and we had to act on our attraction to each other through unconventional means, suddenly we're doing something wrong? Something that we should be ashamed of?

No. Hell no. I wasn't ashamed of anything. I was frustrated with her, but I was angrier at the situation. I'd tasted just the tiniest bit of Bella in a "more than friends" context, and now that I couldn't have her that way again I wanted her even more. I typed several messages out in response to her, only to delete them all for coming across too rude. After many attempts, I felt that something concise and to the point would be best. She could at least appreciate my frankness.

_Bella, I'm not exactly a pro at how to act in these situations so I won't pretend that I am. But I do know one thing, I like and care about you a lot and I don't want you to feel like you can't come around here because things will be awkward between us; they won't be. There is absolutely no one to "blame" for what happened. The way I remember it, we were both consenting adults who were doing absolutely nothing wrong. Listen, I know its unorthodox and maybe a little uncharted for you, but it's the same way for me too. If you don't want to do it again, that's fine. If you never want me to bring it up again, that's fine too. But I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't thoroughly enjoy myself, and find everything we talked about extremely sexy. And you… you were just amazing. _

_I will say one more thing before I leave you alone. I know you said you did it all because you'd been drinking but I'm a firm believer in the fact that drunk words start out as sober thoughts. Just sayin. I'll see you around. - Edward_

I left it at that for several days. She was noticeably absent from the forum for most of that time, then after a few days I saw that she was logged in but didn't post anything, and certainly didn't send me any messages. I couldn't help but be alerted to the dull ache within me every time I saw her browsing the forum, and knowing she wouldn't say anything to me. I'd been talking to her regularly for so long, I hadn't even realized how much talking to her filled my day. And now her absence left a gaping void that I couldn't seem to fill with anything else. Going on the forum while at work used to help me pass the time, but now knowing she was there and just avoiding me made the minutes pass like days.

Finally after almost two weeks and no word, I got a text message from her out of the blue.

_Hi_

**_Hey. What's up?_**

_Nothing. Just thinking. _

**_About?_**

_You. I reacted unfairly to you about what happened between us, and I'm really sorry. _

_I**ts fine, Bella. You don't have to hide from me. I did it too, remember? **_

_Yeah, I know. And I realized I missed you. A lot. _

_**I miss you too. Let's just pretend it didn't happen ok?** _

_Deal. :) _

So we went back to what was normal for us. Just talking and being long distance friends. It started off a little shaky, like we didn't really know where we stood with each other, but just as it had been when we first became acquainted, talking to Bella was easy and it wasn't long before we were back to flirting and kidding around with each other.

After a few weeks, I asked her how the band was coming along. I knew they'd recently added a bass player, and she had been nervous about bringing in someone new. She told me that the new bassist was a great fit, but she was nervous. When I asked her why, she seemed to skirt the question, which didn't make much sense to me at the time.

After a while, our conversations graduated from computer screens and text messages to exchanging pictures and actually talking on the phone on a regular basis. I'd gotten to know her voice pretty well; I'd memorized the sound of her laugh, the way she sounded when she was really excited about something, the sarcastic tone she'd use when imitating someone. Though our conversations never strayed back to where we said we wouldn't go again, it was always in the back of my mind. I'd often dream about that night; sometimes my brain would just replay the night's events, texting back and forth bits and pieces of our shared fantasy, then listening to her climax over the phone. Other times I'd be acting out the scenario that we'd created together. The dreams were so vivid I could practically feel her lips against mine, feeling the sensation of filling her deep inside. I'd never in my life had dreams that felt so real.

I was bored so I called her late one night. I knew she had band practice that evening, and that could certainly run late so I waited until I was sure she'd be done. When she answered the phone she seemed anxious, like she'd just been caught doing something she shouldn't. She cut the conversation short saying that the weather was bad and didn't want to drive and talk on her cell in the rain, and that she'd text me when she got home. It seemed odd. She'd never shooed me off the phone before, it was always raining in Seattle why the sudden change of heart about driving and talking on her cell in the rain now? And what was she so nervous about? I started to get a little worried because I felt like Bella and I really didn't keep secrets from each other. That was part of the beauty of having a long distance friendship; no face to face contact meant that neither of us could really feel judged by the other no matter what we did. She told me things she said she'd never told her band mates, who were her closest friends. And I did the same to her. I didn't want to pry, but my curiosity was definitely piqued.

An hour or so went by before she finally sent me a text explaining that she was tired and didn't feel much like talking. I asked if she was alright because something seemed off. She assured me that everything was fine and said goodnight.

I dreamed about her again that night, but it was different than all the other times. In this particular dream the sky was as black as pitch and it was raining. Living in southern California for so long, I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen a real thunderstorm, and this rain was more intense than anything I could ever remember seeing growing up. The drops were fat, and I could see them splashing into dark puddles on what appeared to be a waterlogged driveway. Bit by bit the scene came into focus, first the rain and the puddles, and then a flash of lightning alerted me to the fact that I wasn't alone. I was standing in what appeared to be a garage, and two shadowy figures stood close together near the open door, just inches from the pouring rain.

I recognized her voice before I could see her face. Bella was whispering so softly I couldn't make out the words but I was certain it was her. Her face emerged from the shadows and she was looking up at the other figure with eyes that were round and wide with excitement. She giggled softly, glanced down at her shoes and back up again. The other figure laughed too, but I still couldn't see his face. I knew it was a man because of his wide shoulders and protective stance beside her. I felt a rumble of jealousy stir within me watching the scene. It was like my feet were glued to the floor and they had no idea I was even there. After a few more whispered words, a cloud seemed to cross over her face and something darkened in her eyes. I recognized that look immediately; lust. She wanted him, and by the way his dark body was moving closer to her I could tell he wanted her as well. More intense jealousy and rage licked at my insides. I tried to move but remained bolted to the cold cement floor. They moved closer and closer, Bella stood up on her toes to get closer to him. And then her beautiful face disappeared behind his dark one, and I heard the soft sighs of her contentment that I'd replayed over and over in my mind so many times. Though I couldn't see it, I knew that her perfectly plump lips were being tainted by his at that very moment.

After what seemed like an eternity they finally broke apart, she smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She hugged him tightly, but I could see her face over his shoulder and there were tears in her eyes. I saw her lips move and I could just barely make out the words, "he isn't you," before she slowly faded back into shadow as the tears rolled down her face and the room went dark once again.

I awoke with a jolt, my heart racing and my face dripping with sweat.

He isn't you? What the hell does that mean? He isn't who? Me? That's impossible.

I got up and trudged into the bathroom. After splashing some cool water on my face and neck, I looked at myself in the mirror. I watched the water droplets run down my pale sallow cheeks and along the dark circles under my eyes. I couldn't exactly work the dream out in my head, but something about it seemed almost too real. But that was crazy, Bella kissing shadow people? I was just being dumb. So I went back to bed only to have my senses assaulted every time I closed my eyes with images of Bella and some faceless man. Eventually I fell back into a restless sleep and awoke petulant and irritated the next morning, and I couldn't shake this uneasy feeling that had settled in my bones.

A few days later I got a call from her.

"Hey you!" she greeted me cheerfully.

"Hey Bella. What's up?" I said back, with the phone cradled between my ear and my shoulder while I fixed myself a sandwich at home that afternoon.

"I'm just happy. We had such an amazing practice the other night, the night that you called; I had to share it with you."

"That's great, why was it so amazing?"

"It was just… I dunno, everything just finally clicked, you know? It was like things were finally coming together and it just had this incredible energy! I've been so stoked about it I can hardly contain myself."

I laughed and sat down on the couch with my sandwich in hand. She sounded so damn cute when she got excited like this.

"That's great Bella. For a second there, I thought you were going to tell me that you were in such a great mood because you'd hooked up with someone." I said it without thinking, images of my dream flashing through my head at the sound of hearing her voice. The phone was silent for a long moment and I thought the call had been dropped.

"Bella? You still there?" I asked.

"Why would you think that?" She said in a cautious voice.

I chuckled at my own stupidity. "No reason. Just… yeah, no reason." I wasn't going to tell her about my dream because it would undoubtedly weird her out.

"…Well, I did. Sort of."

My heart seemed to shudder to a momentary halt. I tried to think of all the possible ways I could have misunderstood her late statement and came up empty handed.

"Edward?" she asked softly.

I cleared my throat and started to breathe again.

"Yeah?"

"That doesn't bother you, does it? I mean, we don't keep secrets from each other, right?"

"Bother me? No, why would that bother me?" I tossed the remnants of my sandwich on the plate and set it aside. I was anything if not completely devoid of appetite at this point.

"Oh… okay," she said, her voice falling a bit. "Well it was with James, the new bass player. And it just sort of happened. I don't know where all of this is going, but we talked today and we're going to see what happens."

"Just be careful, Bella. You don't want the band to fall apart over this." I tried to sound like that was really all I was concerned about.

"I know. That's the last thing I want. I think everything will be alright. I mean, it's just been a while since I've dated anyone and –"

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Bella. Just be careful, okay? I don't want to see you get hurt." I tried my best to mask the bitterness in my voice with concern, but I could feel it wearing thin.

"Thank you, Edward. That really means a lot to me."

"Look Bells, I've got to go. I've… got to meet up with Mike for practice in a little while. I'll talk to you later."

"Oh.. okay. Bye then."

I didn't say anything else and just ended the call. I squeezed the stupid device in my fist until the plastic started to creak and strain under the pressure. If it wasn't for this thing I wouldn't be in this mess, and I sure as hell wouldn't be the asshole who was sick with jealousy of some lucky son of a bitch hundreds of miles away. I threw the infernal thing across the sofa and it bounced off of the arm and onto the floor. Normally I'd be pissed at hearing the sound of it crashing to the ground, but right then I just couldn't be bothered. That god damned phone! If I'd never heard her voice, if all she was to me was text on a screen, then I wouldn't care who she dated, or who she kissed, or who she fucked. If all she was to me was a message in my inbox, our "relationship" would all be pretend – like another world that I could turn off when I turned off my computer. But no, that stupid fucking phone made her real to me, and I couldn't turn my feelings off anymore.

I felt like such an idiot. I made good money, there was no reason why I couldn't buy a plane ticket and fly to Seattle to meet her, and there was absolutely no reason why we couldn't both take a long weekend and meet halfway in Sacramento. Had I thought about it? Of course, but did I ever suggest such a thing? No. Why? Because I'm a moron who held onto this stupid archaic idea that you don't meet people in person that you know online. Its not like I had anything to hide, I'd always been myself on the forum, and in texts, and emails. I never said anything there that I wouldn't have said to her in person. And if she was hiding anything, she was one hell of a liar because I'd yet to see any holes in her story.

And now…

Now, because I'm dumb and couldn't find it in myself to act on what I really wanted, she was dating someone else which probably meant less time for me in whatever capacity she saw me in. Probably no more phone calls, fewer texts, fewer emails. Fuck!

But, as it turns out, I was wrong. She still called me, more so in fact. She still emailed, and texted. She never talked about him though, and I never asked. But I'd already put the nail in that coffin, and accepted the fact that I'd missed whatever shot I'd ever had. Acceptance brought about a deep feeling of emptiness like I'd never experienced before. We still talked and laughed like we always did but somehow knowing that there was nothing else beyond that left a deep void. And I, being the idiot that I am, felt the need to immediately fill that void.

Tanya.

I swear to god, my phone gets me into more trouble than anything else. I picked that stupid fucking thing up off the floor after I'd thrown it and called the first person I could think of that I knew would come running. And sure enough, within minutes she was knocking on my door with a bottle of wine and a devilish grin, which I welcomed. This time though, when we had sex I covered her mouth when she hooted and bellowed which made her laugh a deep throaty chuckle, thinking I was being kinky. When she tried to squeeze my waist in a vice grip with her legs, I wrenched her knees apart forcefully. Again, she giggled and squirmed at my "kinkiness."

She was an idiot. But so was I.

When it was over, she cuddled up close to me and wrapped her legs around mine. She kissed my chest and told me how happy she was that I'd called, how long she'd been waiting and hoping that I would. I just sighed and pretended I was somewhere else.

Despite the early hour of our romp, I fell asleep for a while only to be woken up to a loud bang in my kitchen. My first disoriented thought was that Mike had suddenly taken up the drums just to piss me off. Then I looked down and realized that I was completely naked and just barely covered by my sheets. I groaned when the reality of my hasty actions crashed down around me. I raked my hands through my hair and across my face in a sad attempt to make it all go away, but was reminded that it was no use when another loud crash came from the kitchen.

Fuck.

I threw the covers off and grabbed whatever clothing was lying on the floor next to the bed and trudged out of my room to face the consequences. Tanya was standing with her back to me at the stove wearing my discarded t-shirt from earlier, stirring something that smelled foul. Cabinets were open, pots and pans were hanging out everywhere, there were wet smudges of some sort of liquid on the counter, and flour hand prints decorated the backside of my shirt she was wearing.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my mouth at the fucking irony of it all. She turned around to face me, startled but then smiled sweetly.

"I know its late, but I thought maybe breakfast was in order?" she said, still smiling with flour dusted across her nose and cheeks.

I laughed again. Breakfast? How cliché. But she was trying; any dumbass like me could see that. Her smile widened as she continued to look at me over her shoulder, but it quickly faded when the pungent smell of charred food hit both of us at almost the same time. She moved the pan off the burner and slumped against the counter, pouting.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I just wanted to do something nice for you and I ruined it." Her blue eyes were swimming with tears that she was desperately trying to blink back.

My chest clenched; I was being an asshole. Stringing her along, and here she was actually trying to do something nice when all I did was look at her as a piece of ass; nothing but a sad distraction. Now I felt much less like an idiot and more like a complete dick. I crossed the space between us in a few short strides and wrapped my arms around her.

"Tanya, I appreciate the gesture really, but you don't have to do that." Her thin arms snaked around my waist and she buried her face into my chest.

"I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I can't cook," she said in a muffled voice.

I laughed at her mild attempt at a joke, and smoothed her hair down her neck.

"So you can't cook. That's what take-out is for, right? Does Chinese work for you?" I said into the top of her head, and threw a few soft kisses in for good measure. She laughed and looked up at me with those watery eyes. I'll be the first to admit, I tried my hardest for a split second to imagine that those eyes were brown and smiling, but when that didn't work I focused on the clear blue ones looking up at me and thought… these really aren't so bad.

I placed an order for some take out and we both set to work cleaning up the burnt, gooey mess she'd made. We talked, and I mean really talked, about our interests, likes/dislikes, hobbies, pet peeves etc. We had very little in common, but she really didn't get on my nerves as much as she once had. And did she ever love music. She knew about hardware and equipment, bands most people had never heard of, it was incredible. She didn't strike me as the type really, but it made sense now why on our first date that's all she seemed to want to talk about. We bonded over our mutual love for all things music and lo mien. And as the wee hours of the morning rolled around, I didn't feel the sudden urge to kick her out. Instead, I invited her to sleep over to which she happily accepted.

One night turned into many nights. I never told Bella about it because I wasn't vindictive and if she didn't talk to me about her romantic endeavors, then I wasn't going to burden her with mine. She had someone so I didn't really think she'd be upset to hear I was seeing Tanya, but if I did tell her I'm sure she'd ask me how we knew each other. And I'd have to explain that Tanya was the orange girl with fake tits from the night we don't talk about. And of course, I'd then be reminded that Tanya was not my type by any stretch of the imagination, and that I was only dating her because I was lonely. And I really didn't need to be reminded of that. I tried to find things that Tanya and I had in common, really I did, but it was to no avail.

So we just stuck to music, but after a while I started to notice that it seemed like as we talked she was taking mental notes. She never talked about her past relationships, we never went to her apartment, and she only wanted to focus on me in the bedroom. Not that I minded that part, but it just seemed strange. She also seemed to be taking those mental notes and applying them to herself. For example, I mentioned in passing that I really liked Adult Swim cartoons, suddenly every night when she'd sleep over she'd insist on watching Family Guy and Robot Chicken before turning in. Normally something like that wouldn't bother me and I'd think, "Huh, maybe we do have some things in common after all," but she had never expressed interest them before and something about it struck me as odd. In fact, I thought I remembered her mentioning something about how she thought shows and movies with talking animals were stupid. I think I may have said something in about how I thought Salma Hayek had gorgeous eyes, and a few days later Tanya started musing out loud about getting brown contacts. That idea I quickly squashed because I couldn't stand the thought of looking into artificially brown eyes and having the image taint the true beauty brown eyes could hold.

The one thing she did do that I was appreciative of was to push Mike and me to finally pin down a solid line-up for the band. She said we were too picky, to which I scoffed at, at first but she made a valid argument. She said that Mike and I had been working together for so long and become so tight that no one had a chance in hell of ever living up to our expectations… initially. She suggested that we find drum and bass players who had great potential and mold them into what we thought the band should sound like, as opposed to expecting everything to be completely solid right off the bat.

Turns out, she was right.

If she hadn't pushed me, saying that we were just too good to be playing for ourselves in our garage instead of in front of crowds, we never would have found Tyler who, though a little shaky at first, turned out to be one of the best drummers I've ever seen. And we sure as hell would have never found Rosalie, one seriously bad ass bass player.

When she walked into the audition I thought to myself, "you've got to be kidding me."; tall, blonde drop dead gorgeous, and with a mouth that made a sailor's look pristine. She had answered an ad I'd put up on the forum about open auditions. She'd just moved to San Diego from Portland to manage an auto garage owned by her cousin, and needed something else to fill her time outside of work. Her handle on the forum was Bombshell and now it made perfect sense.

She was hands down the most talented person we'd seen and Mike and I agreed that she was in before she'd even finished playing. We were both beyond stoked about the possibility of everything coming together and set to work figuring out a day that would work for everyone to hold our first practice.

A week later Mike, Tyler, Rosalie and I got together for the first time. It was a Friday evening in the workshop behind our house that Mike and I had outfitted as a pretty sweet rehearsal space; soundproofed walls, all of the recording equipment we'd collected over the years, amps, stands, and computers. You name it, we had it. Tyler and Rose were pretty impressed with our setup, and seemed to be just as excited as we were to get things going.

After the auditions, we'd given them both recordings of a few of our better songs for them to work on and at that first practice I was interested to see how far they'd come with learning their parts. Tyler was still shaky at first but seemed to get over his nerves pretty quickly and in no time was playing along with us like a champ. And Rosalie, full of surprises that she is, played every lick to perfection without missing a single beat.

Over the following weeks, we worked on tightening up some of the songs Mike and I had already laid down in addition to writing a few new ones with all four of us contributing.

Tanya would often come around while we were having practice, and she'd bring Jessica with her as well. I figured that was due in large part to Rose being there. Both of the girlfriends, though I hesitated to really call Tanya that, were very hostile towards Rose. Not really in an overtly mean sort of way, but in that cold, sugar coated bitchiness sort of way that girls seemed to have mastered. Sadly, Jessica and Tanya were way out of their league because Rosalie could cut them both down to size with one scathing remark without even batting an eyelash whilst keeping the sweetest, condescending smile on her face the entire time.

Tanya would often ask me why I never stuck up for her in front of Rose and I told her simply, maybe if she were nice, Rose would be nice too. She would just scoff and say "Girls like that don't have the ability to be nice." To which I'd inwardly chuckle at the fact that it didn't seem like she did either. It didn't matter to me whether or not Tanya liked Rosalie, or vice versa. All that mattered to me was whether or not they could be civil enough to each other to keep the peace during the small amounts of time they had to be in the same room together.

Weeks turned into months, and I talked to Bella almost every single day. I updated her on how the band was coming along and she did the same for me. She told me that her guitarist's girlfriend had passed some of their really lo-fi recordings on to a cousin of hers in the recording business, and how excited she was at the possibilities that could bring. Sometimes she'd call me at two or three in the morning after they'd finished a gig. She was always so excited and I'd usually lie in bed listening to her gush about the adrenaline rush, and the energy of the crowd. If I was out when she called, I'd always walk outside away from the noise so that I could give her my full attention. Tanya would cast me disapproving glances if I left her inside a bar but I didn't owe her any explanations so I never offered any.

And in turn I'd tell her about what we were doing. I'd email her tracks after we recorded and mixed them and she would critique them. Other than Mike, Tyler and Rosalie, she was the only person who ever heard anything we did before it was finished. Not even Tanya or Jessica. Mostly because I respected her opinion more than almost anyone else's.

After a while, I started to notice little things coming up in our conversations; things that I was probably reading too much into but offered me tiny glimmers of hope nevertheless. Things like, how she had suddenly gone back to being openly flirtatious with me on the forum and how she'd tell me sometimes how many good looking guys were at the club where they played, and how flattering it was when a few of them would buy her drinks after they'd wrap up their set; not the type of thing a girl with a boyfriend would really talk about, I would think. One night she called me, obviously a little tipsy, and told me that there was a guy in the club who reminded her of me and how she'd hoped that he would come over and talk to her, but he didn't and she was disappointed.

"No worries," she said with the cutest little giggle, "I get to talk to the real thing anytime I want." I couldn't have helped the smile that threatened to crack my face in half even if I tried. But there were two nagging feelings in the pit of my stomach; 1: Despite all of the tiny little signs that I was probably blowing way out of proportion anyway, Bella was dating her bassist. And 2: I really shouldn't be thinking about Bella that way because I had Tanya here. But really, if I was being honest to myself… Tanya was no substitute for someone like Bella; I hadn't even met Bella and I knew that to be true. I felt awful for continuing whatever semblance of a relationship with Tanya when I knew full well that the moment something better came along I'd gladly jump ship. Sometimes I'd lie awake in bed at night with Tanya's strawberry blonde head resting on my chest, and feel like the biggest asshole on the face of the planet. I knew I could go find another girl if I wanted, but some stupid little part of me was still carrying a torch for Bella, while another part of me saw the benefits of having a no effort required "girlfriend".

I know, I know… I'm a dick. But can you really blame me?

One night at practice, we had all worked our asses off and were damn pleased with the progress we'd made so we treated ourselves to some pizza and beer in the workshop. The more we played together the closer the four of us got, almost like family. It was so strange to have only worked with Mike for so long and to have found two people who complimented us so perfectly was both welcome and unfamiliar. So that night we sat round drinking beer and shooting the shit when Rose looked directly at me and asked a question I'd never had to answer before.

"So what's the deal with you and that AllSmiles chick anyway? What's her name?"

I choked a little on my beer at how direct she was, but then again that's just Rose.

"Umm.." I began, "she's a… friend. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, you guys are just always talking to each other on the board and it seems like there's something going on." she said with a cocked an eyebrow at me from across the room.

"Can't a guy talk to a girl without there being something going on?" I said with a chuckle, trying to make sure my lie wasn't as obvious as it felt.

"Oh really?" she replied incredulously. "So if I told you that she acts like she'd have your cyber babies if she could, that would come as a surprise to you?" I laughed at her choice of visual imagery. "What's her name anyway? Becca or something?"

"Bella," I said without hesitation and took a long drag from my beer. Smug satisfaction passed over her face and I knew I'd been caught. But I wasn't going to let her know that.

"Small world, because I saw your phone earlier and it said you had a missed call from someone named Bella. That must be some crazy coincidence, right? Because I'm sure a guy with a girlfriend wouldn't be getting calls from chicks who aren't his girlfriend. Especially not girls who all but shout it from the rooftops that they're ready and willing to suck your e-cock."

This time I completely spit my beer out with laughter, showering Mike's arm and shoulder with foam.

"My e-cock?"

"It's not like I'd blame you. Hypothetically speaking, of course. She's way hotter than some other little strawberry shortcake wannabe groupie, who has more in common with a fucking buoy than an actual human being."

Rose's derisive description of Tanya was thinly veiled, and I know I should have stood up for her. I know I should have told Rosalie that she was out of line and mean and spiteful, but truth be told… that shit was funny and, unfortunately, very true.

"Honestly Edward, you might want to get on that Bella chick or I'll be forced to act on my girl crush." She licked her lips suggestively toward me, then laughed herself and tossed her empty beer bottle into the trash can.

"You're such a bitch, you know that?" I said with a chuckle.

She just smiled and cracked open another bottle.

"But seriously," she went on, "is there something going on with you two or what? Because if there's not, there should be."

I sighed deeply and realized that the playful ribbing was over and we had moved into serious conversation territory.

"No, there isn't anything between us."

"Why not?" she asked, without letting me say another word.

"For starters, she's 20 hours away not to mention dating one of the guys in her band."

"No she isn't," she said quickly, cutting me off from further sulking.

"What? How do _you_ know?" I blurted

"Are you really that clueless? Or can you just not read subtext? Come _on_, Edward! Let's rewind a bit, shall we? A couple months ago she posted something about how she had started seeing her bassist and everybody warned her it was a bad idea, right?"

"Yeah, I remember," I said bitterly.

"Nothing was ever said about it again, right? Wouldn't you think that if things had worked out between them she'd at least say _something_ about how everyone was wrong?"

"Maybe she just doesn't want to air her personal life all over an internet message board. That doesn't mean anything, Rose."

"_Please_. The more logical reason that nothing was ever said is because it failed and everyone was right. On top of all that, she was always really flirty with you, right? And there was a period where she wasn't, but now she is again. Umm… hello? Can it be any clearer?"

"Can what be any clearer, exactly?" This conversation and the patronizing tone she was using were beginning to grate on my nerves, and I didn't like being put on the spot in front of Mike and Tyler either.

"She wants you, Edward! Honestly, if you guys talk on the phone so damn much, you'd think she'd tell you all this herself."

I shrugged. "We don't talk about it. Plus things between us are… complicated."

"Why? Because of Tanya? That skank has got to go," she said so matter-of-factly that you'd think she was talking about a business transaction instead of my love life.

"She's part of it, yeah. And don't call her a skank, Rosalie. She's really not as bad as you make her out to be."

"Fuck you. You're just saying that because you think you have to. You know as well as I do that she's a groupie, a leech, a no good succubus life ruiner and she, my friend, has got her sights set on you." She pointed her nearly empty bottle of beer at me, and then finished off the last few swallows.

"Hey, if it weren't for her we'd have never have found you, now would we? Right Mike?" I turned to my best friend for even the tiniest bit of support, but he was too involved in peeling the label off of his empty beer bottle and seemed to cringe when I said his name.

"Right. And I bet she'll never let you forget it either," she went on, drawing my attention away from Mike's peculiar behavior and back to her. "And Mike why don't you tell him what happened the other night? Maybe that'll finally get my point across."

I turned back to Mike who seemed to be trying to shrink into his chair.

"Mike?" I asked inquisitively.

He let out a deep sigh then turned to me. "Listen, before I say anything just know that I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how." After another sigh he continued; "Last practice, you said you were going to take a shower after we were finished. Tyler and Rose left, and I was in here shutting everything down when Tanya comes in. She said she was looking for you, but something just seemed off. I told her you were inside taking a shower and her whole demeanor changed. She was giving me these, I don't know, seductive eyes, and came over and put her arms around my neck. She said," he paused, and looked nervously up at me. His shoulders slumped forward and he sighed again before continuing. "She said, everybody thinks you're so great but I was the real talent in the band. She said I was too good to be playing around in the workshop and I should be playing packed arenas. She said she's always had a thing for me but never acted on it because of you. Then… she tried to kiss me. But I swear to god, man I didn't let her. I pushed her off and told her to go home. That's when I realized Rose was there."

"My keys had fallen out of my purse so I came back to get them, and saw your skank of a girlfriend hanging all over your best friend," Rose interjected. "But do you see what I mean? Bitch has got to go."

I should have been angry; angry at Tanya, angry at Mike and Rose for not telling me sooner, angry at myself for ever being so stupid, but I wasn't. I was relieved, happy even. The only reason I was even with Tanya in the first place was because I was sulking about Bella being with someone else. Now Rose seemed to think Bella was single again and interested in me. Distance be damned, people made this kind of work every day and the only thing standing in my way was the one thing that had been holding me back all along.

Tanya.

"Thanks guys," I said, downed my half bottle of beer in one long gulp, and walked determinedly back up to the house.

I crossed the darkened back yard, and threw open the sliding glass door that led into my living room. Tanya was sitting on the couch painting her nails and talking on her cell phone. She blew me a sickeningly sweet kiss when she saw me come through the door. I walked up to her, took the phone from her hand and hung it up.

"Edward! What the hell?!" she shrieked.

I searched my brain for something to say and I came up with nothing. All I wanted was for her to be gone.

"I think you should leave," was all I said, quietly and calmly.

"Why?" she replied, dumbfounded.

"Tanya, you need to just go. Get your things and go."

Her face changed suddenly from indignant to doe eyed and innocent. "Edward? What's going on? What did I do, baby? Whatever it is, let me fix it." She stood up and put her hands on my chest.

I ground my teeth together, and squeezed my eyes shut. She never could take a hint.

"Things aren't working out between us," I said in as even of a tone as I could muster.

"What? Edward, sweetie, what's going on? Why are you doing this?" she pouted, tears spring forth in her eyes, threatening to spill over.

"You need to go, Tanya. I won't ask you again. It's over."

Her face changed again, this time the tears were suddenly gone and her delicate, yet artificial, features were hardened over.

"_You_ are breaking up with _me_? You have _got_ to be kidding," she laughed coldly.

"How many other ways do I have to say it? 'We've grown apart.' 'Its not you it's me.' 'I need some personal space.' Do you want some more cliché break up lines? Because I've a list a mile long I could use. Bottom line is I don't want you anymore!" I was shouting now, my fists balled up at my sides, anger and pent up frustration finally bubbling up to the surface.

She scoffed and laughed a high pitched trill of a laugh at seemed to drill a hole in my brain.

"This is unbelievable. I guess you should be proud that you beat me to it at least because I've been meaning to drop your sorry ass for a while now," she spat, lacing every word with venom.

I recoiled back in disbelief. "_My_ sorry ass?"

"Yeah, you're nothing but a washed up has been and you should be fucking proud to have a woman like me to come home to."

"Oh yeah? Is that why you tried to hook up with my best friend?" I laughed callously and watched her face whitened. "Didn't think I knew about that one did you?"

"So what if I did? He's the one who's going to be going places, not you." Her eyes narrowed and she squared her shoulders as her voice dropped to just barely above a hissing whisper.

"I guess you hitched your trophy wife dreams to the wrong star then," I laughed heartily. "Now get out."

She stomped her foot on the ground and let out a squeal that seemed to come from the depths of her tiny body. She snatched up her purse and stormed out the door screaming "asshole!" all the way.

There was a brief moment of silence before I heard someone slowly clapping from behind me. I turned around to see Rose, Mike and Tyler standing in the sliding door that I'd left open, Rose clapping with a very satisfied look on her face.

"It's not exactly what I expected to happen, but it'll work," she said smugly.

I looked at her, at all of them and just laughed. I laughed so hard that my sides hurt and I had to sit down. I laughed at how stupid I was, and how completely and utterly stupid she was. And I laughed because of the feeling of freedom that had suddenly come over me.

The three of them stood there and watched me until my laughs subsided into mild chuckles, and my lungs ached for a proper breath. Rosalie came and plopped down on the sofa next to me and slung an arm playfully around my shoulder.

"Good riddance to that fucking tramp. Honestly, you can do so much better than that used up piece of rubber. She's like an old tire that's lost its tread. And most importantly _you_ are _not_ a has been."

I laughed again. "You can't be a has been if you never were to begin with. But you know what? It doesn't matter. I'd rather spend the rest of my life playing with you guys in that fucking workshop and never have an audience hear anything we ever did, than spend another moment with her."

" 'Atta boy," she said with a squeeze to my shoulder and got up off the couch. "Well, I don't know about you, but I've had my fill of drama for one evening. Why don't you uh… vent about it to someone." She said, handing me my cell phone from where it lay on the coffee table. I smiled wryly at the little device that caused so much trouble. "Good night guys." She cleared her throat when neither Mike nor Tyler made a move to leave me alone. "Tyler, why don't you walk me out to my car?"

"Oh, uh… yeah. Sure Rose," he said, startled but finally seeming to take the hint.

Once they were out the door. Mike finally spoke again.

"Edward, I swear I was going to tell about what happened with Tanya. I wasn't trying to keep it from you, I just –"

"Mike, I know man. You've been my best friend for years. You don't need to say anything else about it. She's gone and that's all that matters." I gave him a reassuring smile and bid him goodnight.

Once I was alone in my room, I looked down at the phone in my hand and my stomach turned into knots. I'd never been nervous about calling Bella. Ever. But there was something different now. I took a few calming breaths before convincing myself that what I wanted more than anything else in the world was just a push of a button away. Just when I had my thumb poised on the 'send' button, my phone vibrated to life in my hand, effectively scaring me half to death. I looked down at the blindingly bright screen and saw, "Incoming call from: Bella". I smiled to myself, sank down onto my bed and answered her call.

"Well hey there gorgeous," I said, in a tone that was probably far more cheesy than I would have liked.

"Edward! I have the greatest news!" she said excitedly.

I couldn't help but laugh at her enthusiasm for whatever it was. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

"I'm – We're – The band is going to LA."

* * *

So now we're finally caught up to the present. Don't hate on Edward's relationship with Tanya. He was lonely and upset and people do silly, stupid things when they're like that.

Review away! Please please please, I'll love you forever :)

Musical inspiration for this chapter: Attached at the Hip by CkY (Listen to it, its so Tanya its ridiculous) and Turning on the Screw by Queens of the Stone Age (I sort of borrowed a line from this song and stuck it in this chapter. Can you find it?)


	4. Chapter 4

_Ahh Hey everybody, long time no see, right? I love this story immensely. I hope you like it as much as I do. _

* * *

My bags were packed and I was waiting very impatiently for Emmett to come pick me up to go to the airport. My apartment was tiny and already pristine but I tried cleaning to pass the time anyway. I fluffed the pillows on the couch and straightened pictures on the wall, but of course that didn't keep me occupied for long. Bored and anxious, I sat down on the couch and drummed my fingers against the side of my empty coffee cup until there was a loud bang on my front door.

"Finally!" I said to no one in particular and flung open the door.

Emmett stood there looking like a 6 year old; all dimples and smiles and curly hair and adorable. Even so, if I weren't so excited I'd be annoyed at his tardiness. But of course, my insides were practically vibrating with exhilaration and the last few days were a blurry mess of recording, screaming, hugs, and flight bookings. But in the midst of all of that I couldn't wait to share our good news with Edward.

I called him as soon as I was able to contain my random bursts of audible elation. My thoughts were still all a jumble but I was over the screams for the most part when I dialed his number.

"Well hey there gorgeous," he answered into the phone in the sexiest tone of voice that seemed to make my insides quiver with a different kind of excitement.

Hoarse and undoubtedly giving a very convincing impression of a frog, I relayed to him the events of the past week as succinctly as I possibly could in my current state. "The band is going to LA!" I said, and though I continued my story I could feel some sort of tension rise between us at that statement and made a mental note to come back to address it later.

"Edward, I just —this is all happening so fast and it's more than I could have ever expected out of my wildest dreams. And I'm nervous as hell, and excited, and… completely and utterly fucking terrified." I sighed and sank into the overstuffed armchair in my bedroom. I hadn't even realized I'd been pacing my apartment while I talked to him. I also hadn't bothered to turn on any lights but the darkness was comforting, like my excitement was being contained by these four walls and was being held against me like a warm, serendipitous blanket.

"That's fantastic, Bella. I'm really happy for you," he said finally after listening to my probably near incoherent rambling. I could hear the smile in his voice and it made me feel warm all over. It was strange how Edward could make me feel that way sometimes and not others. It's like he had this power over me that he could turn on and off at will; like when he wanted me and when he didn't. And I mean really _wanted_ me. Of course that sort of irritated me as well because I couldn't understand why he would want me sometimes and not others. But being irritated about it irritated me further because it shouldn't matter to me whether or not he wanted me sometimes, all the time, or never at all; but it did. I tried my best to put it out of my mind, but it still gnawed at the back of my brain as I felt that familiar sensation of Edward' deep, soothing voice pulling me in.

"You're talented, Bella. It was only a matter of time before somebody realized it," he said softly, the smile in his tone so apparent that it made me have to suppress a few girlish giggles.

_Ugh! Stop it! _

"Thank you. But it's not just me. Really, I think I'm probably the weakest part of the band. And that's not me being hard on myself, that's just me being honest. Emmett and Jasper and James, they're all amazing," I gushed. But it was the truth; the three of them were the most talented people I'd ever met. Well, Edward too; he was more talented than words could truly express but technically I hadn't _met_ him. I loved to listen to the recordings he would send me and I tried my best to imagine what his face looked like when he sang. I'd only seen pictures of him smiling or laughing and I wondered what he looked like with a little crease between his brows and his eyes closed, trying to belt out some powerful songs like I knew he could. The look of concentration could be so sexy and it could be so similar to the look on his face when he… _mind out of the gutter_. That already got me in trouble once.

That night…with Edward… on the phone… _so_ hot. It seemed like a million years ago now, but it was always fresh in my mind. It seemed like no matter what I did, or whatever method I tried nothing ever came close to turning me on the way that memory did. Whenever I needed a release, that was always the thought that kept me warm. Sometimes I'd think about the sounds he'd made; his shortness of breath as he spoke, the deep, husky tone of his voice, the filthy things he'd said. Other times I'd think about what we'd talked about; his perfectly taught body covering mine, cold skin against burning hot flesh, his full, beautiful mouth exploring my body. The mental image of it drove me insane with desire and frustration.

But I freaked. Who _does _that? I mean really, who _masturbates_ on the phone with a guy they've never met? I felt cheap, like I'd called some 1-900 sex line, but at the same time it was different than that. I felt like there was a real connection between us despite the hundreds of miles distance, the chemistry and attraction were undeniable. But that juxtaposed against our downright filthy behavior that night and I got scared. He said the battery on his phone died and I don't think he was lying, but it just seemed like the universe had put a gigantic blinking sign in front of my face that said, "YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS!"

I wanted to do it again. Good god, I wanted it. But I didn't want to be seen as, I don't know, _easy_ (I guess that's the right word). After all, it didn't exactly take much coaxing to get me to jump on the naughty train with him. And I also didn't want to be that girl who fell for some guy only to have the feelings be completely one-sided. His phone clicked off, I sobered up and immediately went into damage control. I didn't know how to react, so I felt like distancing myself from him was the best course of action. The thought did cross my mind that by distancing myself, I could be hurting him too but then I convinced myself to stop being such a _girl_ about it. I needed to just suck it up and move on.

Then James came along and that was nice while it lasted, but I eventually had to admit to myself that he was just a distraction. Other than our music, we had very little in common which was fine as far as friendship went, but romantically we just weren't a match. I thought maybe having James in my life would mean I wouldn't feel so completely and utterly addicted to Edward, but it didn't. I found that I actually talked to him more while James and I were dating to supplement the quality conversation I was lacking.

Addicted… that's what I was. And I hated it. I couldn't understand why it had played out like this; how I couldn't just give my heart to a perfectly nice boy here in Seattle, because some _seemingly_ nice boy (with a very dirty streak) was holding part of it captive in San Diego. Part of me chided myself for perpetuating this strange, lopsided "relationship" with phone calls and emails while another part of me craved the sound of his voice, bounced up and down with excitement at the sight of a new email from him, pulse raced when I remembered that one night that changed everything.

Addicted. He was the worst kind of drug, the habit you just couldn't break and I just couldn't see the harm in… dreaming. Because that's all it would ever be. But sometimes I thought about that too… who said we had to leave things as they were? Sometimes I'd dream about coming home to my little apartment and finding him waiting for me. Sometimes I'd dream about making arrangements to fly to San Diego and meeting him, and the two of us having this intense first meeting with kissing, and hands, and quickly making our way out to his car for more kissing, and hands and more. Much, much more.

But the more I thought about that, the more I felt stupid for ever even thinking it at all. He was seeing someone. He never came out and told me, but he didn't really have to. I could hear her in the background of our conversations sometimes, calling for him. He'd walk out of the room or something, but it was always the same voice, with always the same nagging tone. Whoever she was, I envied her for having him and at the same time hated her for having him and not treating him the way she should. Of course that made me question his character a bit; he had a girlfriend but that certainly didn't stop the flirtation that took place between us. And that made me hate myself a bit as well because here I was openly flirting with a guy that I knew was taken. But then again, that's what addiction will do to you; make you act without regard for consequence.

I came back to that little mental note I'd made. We'd be going to LA, just a few short hours away from San Diego. We'd be geographically closer than we'd ever been before and he realized it. I wondered if he thought about how easy it would be for him to meet me there. I wondered if he'd even want to. I wondered if the tension I felt on the phone when I mentioned LA was him dreading that I'd suggest it.

"I think you'll love Los Angeles, Bells. It'll be more sun than you've seen in your entire life," he laughed. I chuckled nervously, completely immersed in my own self deprecating thoughts.

"We should meet up for coffee or something." Word vomit. I smacked my forehead with the palm of my hand and squeezed my eyes shut in embarrassment.

There was a short pause on the line before he spoke. "I'd love to Bella, but LA isn't exactly just down the road from me. Its two hours drive at least, without traffic."

"Of course, it was stupid. Forget I mentioned it," I hedged.

"It's not stupid; I'd love to come up there if I can. Let me see if I can get an afternoon off work while you're in town and maybe we can make it work."

I felt the color drain from my face. He does want to meet me? More importantly he's willing to drive two hours to do so? My cheeks and ears began to burn and I sucked on my bottom lip, unable to think of anything to say back.

"I can't say yes yet, but keep your fingers crossed." He was smiling, I could hear it and it made me picture its perfection in my mind. I think I might have hallucinated it all, but I wasn't _about_ to try and snap out of it. "Do you know when you're going yet?"

"Uh… two weeks."

"No promises, but I'll definitely try my best."

I bit my lip and drew my legs up to my chest in the armchair. A few more things were said before we ended our call but I couldn't focus on what they were, I was too wrapped up in the gravity of what had just happened.

_I'm going to meet him. I'm actually going to meet him. _I thought. A little devilish spark inside of me ignited and I wondered if I could convince him to pretend he didn't have a girlfriend for just one day. I mulled that deliciously sinful idea over in my head while his velvety voice sounded through the phone and formed words that I couldn't remember. The warm sound wrapped around me, and I imagined watching his lips form those words as they moved closer and closer to mine.

"Hey, Bella I as much as I hate to say it, but I've got to go. I've got a meeting with my boss tomorrow morning, and if I'm going to try and get some time off I should probably get there extra early. You understand, right?"

His words snapped me out of my awful little fantasy and I realized, first of all, that I'd zoned out, and secondly that I was quite possibly the worst human being on the face of the planet; convincing him to cheat on his girlfriend? I truly was pathetic.

"Of course, Edward. Don't let me keep you, I just wanted to share the good news," I said, timidly, wallowing in the shame of my twisted thoughts.

"I'm glad you called, really. It means a lot that you'd want to call me and tell me. I'll let you know as soon as I can about the time off, ok?"

"Ok," I choked out.

"Goodnight, Bella." His voice was so soft and tender. I wanted him to say that to me, in just that way, every night.

"Goodnight."

I sighed and slumped back into my chair, my previous high marred by the anger I felt at myself for being so weak. I slung my legs over the arm of the chair, snuggled into the plush cushions, and fell into a restless sleep.

Over the next few days, I stilled warred with what to do with my feelings for Edward. After extensive thought, I surmised that our first face to face meeting could go one of two ways; either we'd meet finally and find that the chemistry that had been present over the phone didn't translate in person or we'd meet and find that the chemistry between us to be amplified by each other's presence. Either way I was determined to keep my cool and conduct myself in a rational manner. Meaning, I wasn't going to get upset if things between us fizzled out, and I wasn't going to drag him back to my hotel room and rip his clothes off if things continued to be explosive. Furthermore, if things did indeed click between us, I wouldn't even try to pursue anything until he was completely free and clear of all other romantic baggage. I'm no home wrecker, and I'm sure as hell not about to start being one now. I also wasn't deluded enough to think that one look at me would make him forget all about his girlfriend, so should the situation call for it I'd conduct myself with restraint and whatever poise I could muster.

I also tried not to get my hopes up in case a meeting wasn't possible. But that wasn't working out so well because as I sat there waiting for Emmett's arrival my stomach was full of butterflies that had only partially to do with the intended purpose of our trip.

***

"Twelve" Emmett said jarring my thoughts from the seemingly endless blanket of clouds over the earth below our 747.

I turned away from the window and blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

"Twelve. That's how many phone numbers from famous chicks I'm going to get while we're here," he informed me matter-of-factly.

"Is that right? Why twelve?"

"Dunno. I just have a feeling about it. Plus, you know I've got a thing for blondes and they are a dime a dozen in good ol' So Cal."

I just rolled my eyes. "You're ridiculous."

"We'll see. When I'm chattin' it up with budding starlets who think I'm the next big thing. You'll eat your words then, Miss Cynical."

The captain's voice crackled through the speakers announcing our descent into LAX, and the landing gear stirred, causing the whole plane to shudder and my stomach to plummet.

EPOV

I looked down at my watch nervously. _She should be landing right about now_. I wondered if she was nervous about her meeting. Who was I kidding? Of course she was. Knowing how she reacts to things, I bet she's a nervous flyer too. I wondered what she did to calm her nerves, if anything. I wondered if _I_ could possibly ease her fears if given the chance. I wondered if just holding her hand would do the trick or if she'd need me to tell her that everything was going to be alright. I wondered if anyone was doing that for her now and if so, I was immeasurably envious of whoever it was.

My boss had been extremely elusive over the past couple of weeks. He was a bit of a hard-ass so I wanted to ask for a day off with as much advance notice as possible but he wasn't exactly making such a task very easy. During my meeting with him the morning after I found out that Bella would be coming to L.A, I tried to clear the time off with him then, but he practically shoved me out the door after my quarterly performance review saying that he was on a tight schedule. I thought it wouldn't be a huge deal for me to wait until the next day to ask, but I came in the next morning to find that he'd gone on vacation.

Great.

The following Monday I came into work hoping to catch him, but he was in and out of meetings all day. I was beginning to panic because he was known to turn down requests for time off if enough notice wasn't given, and everyday Bella's arrival grew closer and closer. I'm good at my job, I rarely take vacations, and I'm extremely reliable but I'm certainly not irreplaceable. And it was that fact that kept me from just saying "fuck it" and driving up the four-oh-five so that I could greet her at the airport.

When I finally cornered my boss outside his office, he said my request was fine assuming that all my deadlines would be met beforehand. Which was, of course, not an unreasonable stipulation had it not been for the fact that an hour before I was scheduled to leave, he threw a new project at me that simply couldn't be put off. Why he waited until the last possible second to tell me about something that was so god damned important, I'll never know. But I couldn't risk my job, so I was stuck at my desk until it was done.

While I worked at a furious pace my mind was elsewhere. More specifically, the last few conversations I'd had with Bella.

Late Tuesday night she called to tell me that she'd made it into L.A safely, but had been almost immediately ushered into a meeting with her friend's cousin, the one who worked at the record label, for hours.

"Tell me I'm dreaming, Edward, please," she said that night, sounding absolutely exhausted.

"Nope, this is completely real and it couldn't be happening to a more deserving person." I wanted her to know how truly proud of her I was.

"Yes it could," she yawned. "It almost doesn't seem fair; you've been at this so much longer than I have."

"It doesn't happen for everyone, and I know that. My chance will come or it won't and that's okay. All that matters is that I'm happy with what I'm doing. That's what it really boils down to anyway. But you… Bella, you're incredible. You're going to go places, I can feel it."

She sighed contentedly and I could tell she was tired. She remained silent for a long while and I just listened to the sound of her softly breathing. I was beginning to wonder if she'd fallen asleep but I couldn't bring myself to hang up.

"Bella?" I said softly, not wanting to wake her if she had dozed off.

"Hmm?" she breathed.

"I should let you get some sleep. You've got a couple of really big days ahead of you."

"I wish you were here," she whispered.

At the risk of sounding horribly cliché, in that moment I felt lighter than air, like my heart was swelling to the point of nearly bursting at hearing those words from her.

"I wish I were too, Bella. I really do." I wanted to tell her how I wished I could hold her in my arms. I wanted to tell her how I wished I could kiss her and worship her body the way she deserved. I wanted to tell her how I wished I were looking into her eyes at that very moment.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" I rasped through an entirely too dry throat.

"I can't wait to see you."

Those words rang in my head while I worked at my computer, trying desperately to finish in time to make it onto the freeway before the really heavy traffic hit. But of course this stupid fucking project was neither simple nor quick. But I needed to get to her and there was nothing that was going to stop me from that.

Thursday night she called to excitedly tell me that she'd spent the last two days in and out of the studio and in meetings with representatives of various levels of talent scouts at the record label. She and her band mates had experimented with different layering in the studio to create a richer sound on the tracks they'd already recorded in Seattle before presenting them to the higher ups. She gushed about how tedious the recording process was but how rewarding it was to see all of the hard work come together into a final product. There was still no official word as to whether or not the label actually wanted to sign them, but all signs seemed to be pointing in that direction.

"I'm taking you with me, you know," she declared with a yawn.

"What do you mean?" I asked, laughing silently at how cute she sounded when she was so tired.

"If this happens for us, I'm going to make sure the right people know about you too."

"Bella, that's awesome of you but these things are fragile. You don't want to go pushing this early on."

"Oh hush. If they liked us, they'll love you. What's the point of having a foot in the door if you don't use it to help your friends?"

"You use it to help yourself, stupid," I laughed.

"I will, believe me. But it's lonely at the top, you know. I have a feeling I'll need the company."

"And I have a feeling you're never lacking in company. Especially of the male variety." I muttered the last part under my breath, but she seemed to have heard me anyway.

"You'd be surprised. Besides, I like to think I'm slightly picky with the company I keep. And you meet my very selective criteria."

"Is that right?"

"Yep. The only one who does right now, to be exact."

It was official. If I wasn't sure before, I was sure now; Bella was giving me all the hints I needed to know that she was into me the same way I was into her. Which made the urgency to finish my work all that much more pressing.

"Oh, hey Edward." Eric, the other technician I shared an office with, said when he came through the door after a late lunch. "Weren't you supposed to be leaving early today?"

I raked my hands down my weary face and let out an exasperated breath. "Yeah, I _was_ but the asshole upstairs threw this shit on me at the last minute." I gestured to the pile of papers on my desk.

"Damn, man. I'm sorry. You're going to go meet the girl you've been talking about, huh?"

"I will if I can get this done. If I don't…"

I looked at my watch; it was already two hours past my original planned departure time.

"How much do you have left to do?"

"I don't know, half maybe?"

"Look, bossman's gone for the day. I don't have anything else to do, so why don't you let me finish this up for you. As long as you look it over to make sure everything looks good before you put it on his desk Monday morning, he won't even know the difference."

"Are you serious?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Yeah no problem. I don't want to have to hear you bitch about this if it doesn't happen," he laughed as I was already shutting down my computer and gathering my things.

"Eric, I owe you one. No, I owe you ten. You name it. Thanks, man!" Practically sprinting down the hall and into the stairwell, I made it to my car in record time. I peeled out of the parking lot and, because I knew she'd probably still be in meetings, I typed her a quick text explaining that I'd gotten a late start but that I'd meet her anywhere she wanted as soon as I got to L.A.

I caught a glimpse of myself in my rearview mirror and what I saw was absolutely appalling. My eyes were bloodshot and swollen from staring at my computer screen for so long, and my skin seemed pale and ashen. But as I raced north up I-5, through Carlsbad and Oceanside and past Camp Pendleton I knew my color would return in no time.

It was warm and dry and perfectly clear save for a few streaks of wispy clouds overhead. I rolled my windows down and cranked my music up as loud at it would go and sang every song that came on the radio at the top of my lungs.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw my blackberry light up in my passenger seat, and even though I knew full well that it was illegal in California to mess with your phone while driving, I snatched up the device and checked my messages.

_I'm so glad you're coming! We signed the deal! There's a bar in the lobby of my hotel, come have a drink with me to celebrate! _

I was cruising along, making amazing time until I hit the Corona Del Mar Freeway. Traffic had come to a sudden and complete halt. _No big deal, _I thought. I'd made excellent time up to that point so a little bit of traffic would just even things out. Boy was I ever wrong. After nearly an hour I'd barely moved 10 miles and panic began to set in again.

"Come on! I've come too far for this to happen now!" I shouted to no one in particular as I watched the southern California sun sink lower and lower into the Pacific Ocean.

My phone vibrated to life on the seat next to me.

_Where are you? Are you close?_

_- I got caught in traffic south of the city. Please wait for me, I'll get there. I promise._

_Please try to hurry. I thought it wouldn't be until tomorrow, but they want to put us on a plane back home tonight._

Panic took hold completely at that point as I felt my one chance of finally seeing her slipping away.

_- Why so soon?_

Who cares if it was illegal? Since I was sitting still, I couldn't have cared less about texting laws.

_They want us in Seattle ASAP to finish recording. _

Fuck. I was so screwed.

After almost another hour the traffic seemed to thin a bit and I was able to start moving at a more constant pace, though not nearly as fast as I would have liked. It was completely dark by the time I completely cleared the traffic jam, and it was seeing the bright shining Los Angeles skyline that told me that I'd finally arrived.

I grabbed my phone and dialed her number as quickly as I could.

"Edward! Where are you?" she asked as soon as she picked up the line, her voice frantic and slightly sad.

"I just got into the city. Where do I need to go?"

"Come to the Wilshire hotel, 3515 Wilshire Avenue. I'm in the lounge downstairs waiting for the car to come and take us to the airport."

"What?! They got you a flight that quick?"

"I guess so. Edward, please hurry. I just… I need to see you. _Please_."

"I'm coming, Bella. I promise. Stay on the phone with me, okay?" I wished we had more time, but to finally see her, face to face for just a moment would be well worth the drive and the frustration. I debated whether or not I should tell her just how badly I wanted to put my arms around her, even if it was just for a second.

"Edward… do you mind, I mean, would it be weird if I hugged you when you get here?" She sounded so timid and shy, so unlike the Bella I knew and I couldn't help but laugh. Truthfully I was thankful for her brightening my mood; even if it was only slightly.

"Bella, when I see you. I'm going to give you the biggest hug you've ever had in your life."

"Is it bad that I wouldn't mind a kiss too?"

"No. I'd kiss you if you'd let me."

"I would."

"Then I'll kiss you like you've never been kissed before."

"What about your girlfriend?"

"My what?" Girlfriend? She thought I had a girlfriend? Did she mean Tanya? How did she even know about Tanya? My mind raced as I arrived downtown. I could see the Wilshire hotel in the distance reflecting L.A's glittering lights in its mirrored windows. I could hear other voices coming from her end of the phone sounding rushed and excited.

"Bells, let's go!" someone said.

"Bella?" I said, to no answer. "Bella, what's going on?" I practically shouted into the phone."

"Edward, the cab's here. I have to leave. _Where are you_?" She was choking bad sobs and it broke my heart to hear her so upset, especially because of me.

"I'm almost there. I'm trying to find a place to park right now. I'm so close, Bella. Please wait for me."

"I will as long as I can."

I turned down Irolo street and luckily found a parking space on the side of the road about a block off of Wilshire. I jumped out of my car and ran as fast as I could in the direction of the hotel.

As soon as I made it to Wilshire, I could see her. She was standing by the noisy street in front of the hotel, wearing jeans, a simple white t-shirt and a worried expression, clutching her phone to her ear. Her long dark hair whipped around her face with each passing car as three guys, who I assumed were her band mates, loaded suitcases into a waiting taxi.

"Bella, I can see you. You are so beautiful." I watched her face light up from across the six lanes of traffic and she began looking up and down the street for me.

"Where are you? I can't see you."

"I'm across the street," I threw my arm into the air and started waving, but a delivery truck pulled up to the intersection, obstructing her from view. As traffic stopped I took off running across the street, weaving between other pedestrians.

"Emmett, what are you -?" I heard her say, followed by a scream. "What the fuck are you doing?! Put me down!" As soon as I had crossed the street I looked toward where she had been standing to see a large man with dark, shaggy curls picking her up and carrying her, literally, kicking and screaming toward the waiting car. A large green monster that had been laying dormant for years reared its ugly head inside my chest and I took off running again toward the sound of her distress.

"Edward," she sobbed as the taxi door shut and pulled away from the curb and into the steady stream of traffic. I stopped in front of the hotel just in time to watch her drive away.

* * *

They were so close :(

The song for this chapter is (If you're wondering if I want you to) I want you to by Weezer.

Review please! Reviews make future chapters come faster :)


	5. Chapter 5

BPOV

I couldn't have stopped the tears from falling even if I tried. They flowed down my face in thick glistening streams from my puffy eyes and collected around the corners of my swollen lips and down the tip of my chin. My throat felt like it had collapsed on itself and I could no longer breathe, let alone speak as I watched an unmistakable flash of coppery brown hair disappear behind our cab.

Still clutched in my hand was my phone, lit up like a Christmas tree and radiating the sounds of Edward's audible frenzy. But I couldn't focus on whatever four letter words he was screaming because I was in such a state of shock; I'd been so close to him. So very close, only to have it stripped away from me at the last possible second. Serves me right for getting my hopes up, I guess. I told myself I wouldn't but I did, and look where it got me.

The minivan was packed to the brim with our luggage, three large boys, and me. They were all laughing and excited, still riding high on the amazing news of the day while I felt like my chest was being ripped in two and choked on silent sobs. The back of James and Jasper's blonde heads in the seat in front of me blurred into a watery mass of yellow and gold and their boisterous laughter stung my ears.

I felt Emmett's arm settle heavily around my shoulders and he shook me playfully. "Bella, can you believe this?!" He looked down at me finally and his dimpled smile melted away into alarmed concern.

"Bells? Bella, what's wrong? Are you alright?" He cupped my sodden cheek in his hand and tilted my head up to look at him. His eyes were crystal blue and filled with worry but I couldn't form the words that raced through my brain. I wanted to rage at him, to tear through him in a whirlwind of teeth and nails and fists. When I didn't- couldn't- answer him, he noticed the flickering phone clenched in my fist on top of my thighs and pried it from my stiff fingers.

"Hello? Who's this?" He made his voice menacing and hard as stone as he addressed the person who he must have thought brought me so much grief. Little did he know that my current state was his own doing. "Who? Nevermind, I don't give a shit who you are. What the fuck did you say to her, asshole? If you hurt her I'll find you and – " he stopped short and listened as Edward, no doubt, unleashed a tirade of expletives and insults. I can't say that I blamed him; he was voicing everything I was currently feeling but couldn't say.

Emmett's face twisted with anger and flushed red. At this point James and Jasper had turned around to see what the commotion was all about and had noticed me crying and Emmett defending my honor to the faceless stranger on the phone.

"Don't you get a fucking attitude with me, bro. You have no idea who you're messing with!"

"Emmett!" I finally found my voice. "Just hang up," I croaked.

"No, Bella. I'm not going to let this guy hurt you again," he protested, fuming.

"Hang up the damn phone, Emmett!" I shouted, anger taking over the feeling of sad helplessness that had previously consumed me. He looked at me confused and pressed the red button on the face of the phone causing the screen to go black.

"Bee, who is this guy? What did he do to you? I'll take care of him, whatever it is. We all will, right guys?" he looked to Jasper and James for support and they nodded their agreement. His voice was soft and concerned as he attempted to wipe away my angry tears.

"No, he didn't _hurt_ me," I spat, bitterly. "Far from it."

Emmett withdrew his hand from my cheek, already sensing that his brash behavior may have been unwarranted.

"He's a… friend. He drove _hours_ to meet me here and he was right across the damn street, Emmett. But instead of just letting me wait for a _second_, you had to take it upon yourself to literally throw me into the car! Didn't you think it was a bit odd that I was putting up such a fight? And honestly, do you think I'm 5 years old or something? Do you think I'm incapable of getting in a car on my own? God damn it, Emmett! He was right across the fucking street!"

Emmett's red face faded back to its normal color and he sank back into his seat.

"Bella, I –" he started but I held up my hand to cut him off.

"Save it Em, please. What's done is done." I tucked my legs underneath myself and curled into a ball against the window for the remainder of drive to the airport, while my phone lay lifeless on the seat next to me.

I wondered if he'd call. I wondered if he was sad. I wondered if he was angry. I wondered if he was angry at _me_. I wouldn't blame him if he was; he'd driven so far and dealt with so much to get there for nothing.

While I was lost in my thoughts we'd pulled up to the unloading area of LAX. I felt the back of Emmett's large hand glide up and down my arm gently.

"Bee, we're here," he said softly, offering me a hesitant smile. I tried to smile back, but my face felt stiff and unresponsive. Who cared? I didn't feel much like smiling anyway.

I shuffled along behind the cart laden with our bags to the far concourse to wait for our flight. Feeling the desperate need to be alone, I chose a seat a good distance away from the guys. I curled up into a ball again and watched the planes coming and going through the floor to ceiling windows; bright lights and shiny metal taking off and fading away into distant stars. I felt wistful and listless watching them until I felt a shift on the seat next to me.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," Emmett said nudging my arm and handing me a large cup of Starbucks coffee. I took it from him, grateful for the pick-me-up. We sat there side by side for a few long, tense moments before he finally spoke. "Look Bella, I'm really sorry about what happened. You know how I get and I just got, you know, carried away. I didn't know you were waiting for someone, I thought throwing you in the car would make you laugh. I realize now that it did just the opposite and I'm sorry. You know I hate to see you cry."

I sighed deeply, "I know Em. It's okay. I just really wanted this all to work out, you know? And after signing with the label and being so happy… I guess I just assumed that everything would go the way I wanted it to."

He slung his muscular arm around my shoulders once again and pulled me into his side. I rested my head on his broad chest and relaxed into his warmth.

After several more long moments Emmett spoke again.

"So, who is he?"

"Just a friend," I said softly.

"Is this the same friend you're always running off to talk to whenever your phone rings?"

Perceptive as always.

"Maybe," I sighed.

"Do you want me to apologize to your boyfriend for being an ass?"

I laughed for the first time in what felt like ages.

"If he _were_ my boyfriend, I'd say yes. But he's not, so that would be unnecessary."

"So you really like this guy, huh?" he asked, squeezing me tighter, much like my father would have.

"Yeah… I really do," I sighed, finally admitting defeat to the feelings that had been growing inside me for months. And it felt good. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders at no longer having to hide from myself, and everyone else, just how deeply I cared for him. It all seemed so stupid, to have such a profound longing and affection for someone I'd never physically laid eyes on. Yet at the same time, nothing seemed more right, more natural.

A lady's voice came over the PA system announcing that our flight to Seattle was now boarding and Emmett helped me gather my things. Once I was settled into my business class seat by the window, I took one last look at my phone. It had remained noticeably silent since our near meeting, and staring at the blank screen made my heart clench. At the stewardess' request, I took one last look at the lifeless device and shut it off.

"It'll be alright, kid" Emmett said softly from the seat beside me. I sighed in response and put my ear buds in to block out the world. Ironically enough after setting my ipod to shuffle the first song that came on was one of Edward's. It immediately made my eyes start to tear up but it was too beautiful to turn off. His voice was so strong and engaging; I just closed my eyes and let it engulf me. Unashamed tears spilled down my cheeks and I mourned what almost was.

EPOV

It was official; I'd gone and gotten myself thoroughly lost. After having it out, presumably, with the big ape who'd tossed her thoughtlessly into the van, I tried to call her back easily a dozen times. But I could hardly think straight let alone clearly express just how sorry I was about the whole situation and every time I tried to press the button to call, I lost my nerve. If I had just called in sick today. Or if I'd just manned up and cornered my boss a week ago I wouldn't have found myself aimlessly roaming the streets of LA.

Even though I knew she was gone, some part of me didn't want to turn around and drive home. I guess my subconscious was unwilling to admit defeat. At first I tried to get back to my car so that I could follow her taxi, but by the time I made it back onto Wilshire from where I'd parked, they were long gone. But I knew they were going to the airport so I made up my mind to just go there and find her. Yes, it was a perfect plan, straight out of a cheesy romantic comedy or something but I knew she'd appreciate my efforts.

I told her I'd kiss her like she'd never been kissed before, and damn it, I intended on keeping my promise.

But of course, I don't know my way around Los Angeles very well and went and got myself lost. It wasn't long before the hills turned into valleys and I knew I was no longer in the greater Los Angeles area. Cursing myself for never spending the money on a GPS, and realizing that her flight was probably already on its way to Seattle , I was forced to turn around and retrace my steps back into familiar territory.

I hadn't tried to call her because my mind was such a jumble of anger and disappointment and I didn't want to risk lashing out at her. But at the same time I thought if I could just hear her voice, surely I'd feel much better. At least I'd know that she wasn't angry with me, and least I'd know that she knew that I tried my best. Sadly, my mind went to dark places and convinced itself that she was angry with me for letting her down. She didn't call because I failed her.

After wallowing in self pity for a the briefest of moments, I picked myself up, dusted myself off and performed the simple task of dialing her number. There was a long pause, a muted click and then-

_Hey, you've reached Bella. _

_Leave me a message and I'll call you back._

She was flying, of course her phone was off. I hated leaving voice mail messages, but in this particular instance I felt it was probably necessary.

"Hey Bella, it's uh.. Edward. Listen, I'm really sorry things went to hell today. It was all my fault. Completely and totally my fault. I should have left work earlier. Fuck, I should have just not gone to work at all. I hate that I missed you, but most of all I hate that you were so upset about the whole thing. The last thing I ever want to do, Bella is hurt you in any way and I know today I did.

"I'm so sorry and I promise I'll make it up to you. I don't know how, but I'll think of something. Anything. You name it. Seriously, if you said the word I'd be on a flight to Seattle tonight." I let out a long sigh and dragged my free hand down my face.

After a long pause, "Yeah so, call me ok? Please? I just… I really need to hear your voice."

Defeated, I merged my car onto the freeway and dove into the night with the bright lights of LA fading behind me.

The traffic had thinned considerably and I felt like the drive home was going by way too fast. I didn't want to go home and accept the fact that she was really gone. So to prolong the drive I exited off of interstate 5 and merged onto the Pacific coast highway. It was a little out of my way and definitely not the fastest route back to San Diego, but it was by far the most scenic. Even in the dark I knew that the drive along the cliffs overlooking the ocean would do me good.

It was nearly 2am when I reached Chula Vista, a minor suburb of San Diego. I drove my car out to a spot I used from time to time when I needed a peaceful place to think. It was a gravel covered shoulder off the side of the highway where the only thing that separated you from the sheer drop off into the surf below was a rusting and dented guard rail.

I killed the engine and laid down on the hood of my car to look up at the clear night sky with the sound of the roaring waves down below fresh in my ears.

Without thinking I picked up my phone and called Bella again. I don't know what I expected, but I wasn't surprised when her voicemail picked up again.

_Hey, you've reached Bella. _

_Leave me a message and I'll call you back._

"So it's 2, maybe 3'o clock in the morning and I'm lying here looking up at the stars… thinking about you. I know this is probably going to sound dumb, and crazy, and stalkerish, but I can't get you out of my head, Bella." I laughed at how cliché it sounded, yet how much of an understatement it truly was.

"You know… and it's not like this is a recent thing either. I've always thought about you. Even before I really had a face to go with my thoughts. But tonight it's a little different. I guess… I don't know… I guess I'm just wondering what would have happened if I'd been able to catch you. Even if it had been just for a minute….I hope we get to find out soon. Good night, Bella." I sighed and reluctantly hung up the phone. The night was cool and the breeze off of the water was beginning to make me shiver, so I reluctantly slid off of the hood and back into the driver seat, and made the last of my trip home.

***

That night I dreamed about her again.

I crossed Wilshire Avenue, and saw her standing there in front of the hotel dressed in her plain white t-shirt and torn jeans. With each car that passed her dark hair whipped around her face and shoulders leaving a few strands here and there to catch in her absurdly long lashes. I walked down the sidewalk toward her while she stared out at the passing traffic. She tapped her foot impatiently and glanced at her watch but never looked my way.

I smiled to myself, happy that I'd get the chance to sneak up on her.

Still unnoticed, when I was close enough I wrapped my arms around her waist and pressed my chest flush against her back. Her body stiffened in surprise but I whispered in her ear to relax and she melted into me almost instantaneously.

"Is it really you?" she asked, placing her arms over mine. "Of course it is. I'd know your voice anywhere."

I was easily head and shoulders taller than her, but her tiny, petite body fit perfectly against mine, like it was made to go there. I nuzzled the soft flesh below her ear and breathed in her scent; sweet and clean, distinctly Bella and positively intoxicating. She sighed softly and tilted her head to allow me better access. Her skin was so pale and delicate that I could make out a faint blue line running the length of her neck gently throbbing along with her heartbeat. I placed a soft kiss where the line began just behind her ear and continued to move along it with my lips until it disappeared beneath the white fabric.

When my mouth stilled she turned herself in my arms so that we were standing face to face and chest to chest. It didn't matter that there were cars and people and noise all around us. All that mattered was the fact that I was looking into the most astoundingly beautiful brown eyes I could ever imagine and they were looking back at me.

And her lips…

The lower one was full and plump and slightly out of proportion from her upper, but lovely nonetheless. And it begged to be kissed.

Leaving one hand resting protectively on her lower back, I took the other and laced it into her thick mahogany tresses and pulled her to me. My mouth sought hers with a magnetism that couldn't be fought and when it found its mark the sensation was explosive. Eager and willing, her lips moved in tandem with mine, giving just as much as they took and then some.

After what felt like a blink of an eye she pulled away and smiled up at me with heavy lidded eyes.

"You kept your promise," she said softly.

"Of course I did. I never want to let you down," I replied, still running my fingers through her silky hair.

"You won't."

I closed her eyes and leaned down to kiss her again but was met with nothing. When I opened my eyes again it was morning and I was lying alone in my bed, tangled in sheets.

Groaning at the realization that it had all been a dream, I grabbed my phone off of my night stand to check the time. I was surprised to find that I had a text message waiting.

_Hey – I got your messages from last night. I tried to call you_

_but I guess you're still asleep. Call me when you get this. –B_

I don't know if at that point I felt more relieved or nervous; relieved that she was still speaking to me, or nervous that I'd have to now "face" her after what happened. But nevertheless, I took a deep breath and made the call.

_1 ring_

_2 rings_

_3 rings_

"Hello?"

"Bella, hey. It's Edward—"

"I know, silly. Caller ID kind of gives that away," she said with a breezy laugh.

"Yeah, I guess it does," I laughed back nervously.

"Edward, about yesterday," her voice was suddenly filled with longing and regret.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I really and truly am. If I'd just gotten there earlier none of this would have happened and –"

"It's nobody's fault. Things just didn't work out, and I was sad. I mean… I _am_ sad that it happened the way that it did but we can't change it now. All we can do now is move forward, but in order to do that there's something I need to tell you first."

Confused, "Oh? Umm..ok. What's that?"

She let out a long sigh before continuing.

"I was so happy yesterday, signing the deal and all of that. But the cherry on top of all of it was the possibility of meeting you. And I knew that it was always just a _possibility_, and I kept telling myself not to get my hopes up in case it fell through. But I did. I wanted to see you so badly, Edward. That's why it hurt so much when it didn't happen, because I wanted it so much. I had some time to think about things, and I kept asking myself, 'Why are you so upset?' Well, I knew _that…_ but really it was, 'Why did I want it so bad?' I kept telling myself, 'he's my friend. I've known him, talked to him for a long time and I just want to finally meet face to face.' But that's wasn't it. That really wasn't it at all.

"You're not my friend, Edward – I mean, _you are_ but you're more than that. At least I'd like for you to be. And that's why I wanted to see you so badly. I guess… I wanted to see if you felt it too, or maybe I wanted to see if what I felt was real or if it was all part of something I'd made up in my head." She took a breath and let it out slowly.

"I thought I was being stupid. Surely what I thought I was feeling for you was just infatuation, or lust maybe. I slept on it last night and I was sure I'd wake up with more clarity in the morning. But I didn't… until I checked my messages and heard what you had to say. That's when it became clear to me that maybe…maybe I wasn't making it up. Maybe you think about me as much as I think about you. That maybe you drove all that way for the same reasons why I would have done the exact same thing for you…" she trailed off, sounding more timid than I've ever heard her sound before.

"Bella…"

She let out a chuckle that sounded hollow and empty.

"You don't have to say anything, Edward. Just forget it, it's stupid. I'm running on hardly any sleep, and I'm a little delirious, I think. I'm going to go back to bed."

"It's not stupid, Bella," I said, still reeling from her admissions. "I meant everything I said in those messages. I think about you constantly. I was so angry at myself about how things happened because I know that if I'd done some things differently… But you're right, it's in the past now and we can't change it, as much as I wish I could.

"But if I _had_ gotten the chance to see you, I'd have kept my promise and kissed you like nobody else has ever kissed you. And nothing would make me happier than being able to do that just once."

There was a long pause on her end, and then another laugh. But this one was different than the last. This was the sound of relief and happiness.

"Tell me to come see you, Bella," I said with all the seriousness in the world.

"What?" she giggled.

"Tell me you want me to come see you right now, and I will."

"What about your job?"

"Screw my job."

"Edward…"

"I'm serious. Screw it. I don't even care. I'll get on the next flight out of San Diego. Hell, I'll get in my car and drive all night if I have to. I just need you to tell me that's what you want."

"Edward," she sighed, "that _is_ what I want. And as tempting as all that is, I can't let you just throw your job away."

"Bella, I'm telling you, it doesn't matter. This job hasn't done shit for me and –"

"Of course it has. It's paid your bills. It's kept a roof over your head. It's done plenty for you, and you can't just walk away from it when you have responsibilities. Now, if there was no such thing as responsibility then yes, I'd tell you to get your ass up here right now. But unfortunately we live in the real world.

"Things are going to get really crazy for me pretty soon, and I don't know how much longer I'll be staying in Seattle anyway. All I can really hope for is that I'll get a chance to come back to Los Angeles or maybe even to San Diego with the band soon. And when I do, I expect to see you there. No matter what."

"No matter what."

* * *

Review please :)

If I know someone's actually out there reading I can crank these out faster.


	6. Chapter 6

I know, its weird to see an update from me so soon but damnit, I love this story! Enjoy, and as always please review!

* * *

I felt… relieved. He at least knew where I stood now, and there was a lot to be said about that in itself. But there were several things that still needed to be discussed, most important of which was his current relationship status. I should have asked him about it before I hung up the phone but my brain was a complete mess after what had happened in the last 24 hours that it completely slipped my mind. But of course now it was all I could think about.

We'd agreed to talk again later that night but I kept staring at the phone willing it to ring.

I needed to know. But I needed to try to keep a clear head about the whole thing. The entire situation was so far beyond the scope of my imagination that I was determined to keep a level head from here on out. The deeper I went down the rabbit hole, the more keeping a rational brain became a necessity. But every time I even thought about Edward, the things he'd said in our last conversation, or even the very image of his face my heart started to pound. _Thinking clearly is going to be easier said than done. _

I decided that laying in bed thinking about everything would do me absolutely zero good so I got up and started the tedious task of tying up all the necessary loose ends before getting out of town for god knows how long. Jacob, our manager that the label had set us up with, said that they wanted to put us to work as soon as possible. And with the album being finished except for the final mixing, "as soon as possible" was going to be _very_ soon.

The lease on my apartment was up at the end of the month so instead of renewing for another year, I decided to move all of my stuff back to Charlie's for the time being. There was no point in paying rent on an apartment I wouldn't be around to enjoy. Of course, I hadn't informed Charlie of that just yet. _First order of business: inform dad that he's my new storage space. _

Second order of business was to file the necessary paperwork to take a leave of absence from school. I wasn't wild about the idea of leaving school with just a semester's worth of course work left before graduation, but it was the price I was definitely willing to pay to make all of my dreams come true. I kept telling myself that I could always go back to school, and with so little left to do it wouldn't even be that hard to accomplish. Again, something I'd yet to tell Charlie.

I also wanted to buy some new clothes. Jacob had informed me that the whole rock scene was a total boy's club (as if I didn't already know that) and in order to make it, I'd have to develop a certain degree of toughness while still cashing in on sex appeal. He said that men would definitely find me sexy, a bit of information at which I totally balked. Apparently there was a subgenre of men who didn't find sexiness to be synonymous with deadly high heels and miniskirts, and I would be exactly what those guys were looking for. Who knew?

I was flattered really when Jacob had told me all of this. The look on his face was earnest and penetrating when he said that I had everything it took to be a star. He had very kind eyes and I wanted more than anything to believe him; to believe that everything that he'd said about me, and about the band to be true. I just needed to muster the confidence to make the rest of the world look at us the way Jacob did.

After getting showered and dressed I called Charlie and told him all about our trip. I didn't jump right into talking about my plans for the future because I didn't want him to get all… _parental_ on me. I mean really, what father wants their only daughter jetting off to be a rock star? _Oh and by the way dad, I want you to hold onto all of my stuff while I'm gone. Thanks! _Yeah… it was a topic of conversation that would have to be approached delicately.

Surprisingly enough though, he was pretty cool about the whole thing. He said that with me being gone the garage would go unused anyway so he'd hardly even notice if I put all my furniture in it. He made me promise to carry pepper spray wherever I went and to never go anywhere alone, preferably with Emmett as an escort. I guess he figured Em's size alone would scare away any would-be muggers and rapists.

I also told him that we wouldn't be heading into this whole thing blindly. I informed him that the label had set us up with a manager who had worked with bands like us before and he would watch out for us every step of the way. To which my father asked if he could speak with said manager. Even though I felt like I was 15 years old again and my father was asking to "have a word" with the boy who was going to be taking me to the school dance, I begrudgingly gave Charlie Jacob's phone number. After all, he said I could contact him with any questions or concerns, I just hoped he meant it.

As soon as I hung up with Charlie I called Jacob just to give him a heads up that my father would be calling.

"Jacob Black," he said matter-of-factly when he answered the phone after a few rings.

"Oh umm, hi Jacob this is Bella… Swan. I don't know if you re–"

"Ah Bella, I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon. What can I do for you? And call me Jake, please."

"Ok…Jake, I just wanted to let you know that I gave your number to my father. After I told him everything that was going to happen he insisted that he speak to the person who'd be taking care of us. Well… me. The person who'd be taking care of me is the one he's really concerned with." I could hear him laughing softly on the other end of the line.

"I'm sorry," I continued. "I probably shouldn't have but you know how dads can get."

"Actually I don't, to be honest. My dad is one the heads of the label so I grew up in this industry. I never really had to deal with him being over protective. It's kind of refreshing to see a parent actually give a damn where their kid is going and who they'll be with."

"Really?" I asked. "I had no idea."

"Yep, but don't let my age fool you. I've got more experience managing bands than half the people in the biz. Just F.Y.I."

"Umm… how old are you, exactly?" It hadn't even occurred to me to even ask before now. Jacob – Jake—was tall and broad shouldered with short dark hair and russet colored skin. He spoke with an authority about him that made him seem like he was in his element no matter where he was.

"Twenty," he said with a laugh.

"You've got to be kidding. You're _younger_ than me?"

"I told you not to let it fool you. I promise, you're in very capable hands." His voice seemed to take on a slightly different tone and I wondered if he meant his last statement to be a double entendre or if it was just some sort of coincidence.

"Anyway Bella, don't worry about your dad," he said suddenly, sounding much more like himself than he had a moment earlier. "I'll talk to him and make sure he's perfectly at ease. Listen, I've got to head into a meeting, but I should be getting in touch with you within the next couple of days when I've got some shows booked for you. Oh and I put a check in the mail for you today. Think of it as sort of an advance on record sales. It's not much but I figured you guys might want to treat yourselves a little bit. Have a good one."

"Thanks Jake. You too."

Good. First order of business complete. An Advance? I guess that meant that going shopping was going to be a bit easier now.

I thought about what I wanted to buy for a little while. I knew I didn't want to change my look completely. If I'd gotten this far looking and dressing the way that I currently do, there couldn't be too much wrong with it. But I figured a little sprucing up of the wardrobe wouldn't hurt. Not wanting to go alone I called Jasper to invite him to come along.

"Really, Bella? You want me to go shopping with you? I mean… have you seen me?" he asked incredulously. "I put more effort into choosing which guitar pick I use than I do picking out what I'm going to wear. Why don't you take Alice with you? She's good at that kind of stuff."

"How does someone get to be 'good' at shopping, Jazz?"

"I don't know," he laughed. "But she's figured out a way. Here, talk to her."

"Jazz that's not—"

"Hello?"

_Crap._

"Hey… Alice. How are you?"

"I'm great. So… shopping?"

"Umm… yeah, but –"

"Say no more. How about I come pick you up in about an hour and we'll see what we can find for you."

I could hear the smile in her voice and she just sounded so damn chipper about the whole thing. Besides, if it weren't for her I'd have absolutely no need for new clothes in the first place, so I figured I owed her this one little indulgence. I felt a little guilty, to be honest; I really hadn't given Alice a fair chance. She just seemed so different from me that I couldn't imagine a single thing we could find common ground on. But I was determined to rectify the situation and added another thing on my to-do list; make friends with Alice.

One hour later, on the dot, Alice honked the horn of her zippy little sports car outside of my apartment.

"So," she said happily once I was settled into the passenger seat, "I was thinking we'd hit this cute little vintage shop I know of. Then we'd head to the mall for some jeans and various other essentials."

She was practically vibrating with excitement and as much as I hated to admit it, her enthusiasm was infectious. Before I knew it, my arms were laden with t-shirts and tank tops and I was actually enjoying myself.

Alice agreed that my "look" shouldn't really change but she insisted on giving the things we purchased on our outing a little bit of what she called the "Alice flare." I didn't get to find out what exactly that was until we'd made two more stops for jeans and one stop at a hardware store and I was looking at the strangest array of random things I'd ever seen.

Alice had the four pair of jeans I'd purchased laid out on my kitchen table next to a brand new pair of scissors, some sand paper, and a cheese grater. Confused, I asked her if she wanted me to order a pizza or something to which she just waved her hand in the air flippantly and stared at the spread with a very intense expression. I excused myself into the living room to place the order and when I came back it looked like a textile factory had exploded in my kitchen.

"Umm… Alice?"

"Hmm?" she said, not taking her eyes off the jeans she was attacking with the cheese grater.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sitting down in the chair across the table from her.

"Bella, do you really think that you're going to stand out in a crowd wearing just t-shirts and jeans? I know that's what you're into, but we need to give you something a little bit more… stylized." Noticing the fact that I was still wearing a very perplexed look on my face, she reached across the table and patted my hand. "Just trust me, okay? Now, take the sand paper and start sanding the seam around the front pockets."

We worked at it for a few hours, sanding and grating and ripping and tearing all of the brand new jeans I'd just purchased. Surprisingly enough, after a while the clothing started to look less like a home ecc project and more like very expensive distressed designer jeans.

"See?" Alice said, looking quite satisfied with herself. "If you're just willing to invest a little time and elbow grease into making them what you want them to be, you'll save a ton of money. Now…" she continued. "Onto the shirts. Yours, off with it."

"Excuse me?" I spluttered.

"Jesus Bella, do you think I've never seen boobs before? Shirt off. I'm going customize those too." She grabbed the t-shirts I'd purchased and dumped them out of the shopping bag and onto the pile of fabric already on the table. "Off, now!"

"Fine, fine," I grumbled. She tossed a light blue Rolling Stones shirt to me and instructed me to put it on.

As soon as it was over my head she began putting the scissors to use. She cut a slit down the front from my neck that ended between my breasts, causing the shirt to fall open. She then cut off the sleeves and inward to create a racer back design. She cut off the bottom hem all the way around, cut several holes down the back of the shirt on either side of my spine and proceeded to use the hem to lace the t-shirt up in the back causing it to be cinched around the middle and tight across my chest and making my cleavage look downright incredible.

"Alice," I said in complete awe, "how did you learn to do this?"

"Eh… boredom I guess," she replied with a smile. "You like?"

"I love!"

"Good. Now, I'm going to customize the others too, but they won't all be the same. And they're all one of a kind so you'll never look just like anybody else."

"Alice, you're amazing."

"I know," she beamed.

The sun had long been set and our pizza sat uneaten on the coffee table in the living room, so I suggested we finally take a break and eat it. We curled up on my couch with the pizza between us and passed a bottle of soda back and forth between us.

"So," Alice said midway through her first slice, "Jasper said that something happened with a guy while you guys were in Los Angeles. What's that all about?"

"Pretty direct aren't you?" I laughed through a mouthful of pizza.

"Life's too short to beat around the bush, don't you think?" she said with a smile.

I thought about it for a moment; I'd only let out the tiniest bit of the situation to Emmett and just that had made me feel tremendously better. I wondered if I confided in Alice, if I actually got a female perspective on everything, if I'd finally get a bit of clarity. I looked over at her and she was smiling at me with these big blue eyes that just screamed, "Trust me, Bella!" and I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a girl friend I could actually talk to about guys. It was worth a shot.

I let out a sigh, "Well, yeah. There is a guy."

"What's his name?" she asked as she turned on the couch to face me.

"Edward."

"Oooh, very classic. How did you meet him?"

I laughed at her excitement.

"You can't laugh okay? It's kind of embarrassing."

"Bella, unless he was wearing overalls and was waste deep in mud when you first laid eyes on him, it can't be that bad."

"Well," I laughed, "that's just it…"

I launched into the story of how Edward and I found each other and connected online. I told her about how we had flirted back and forth for ages before I'd even heard his voice and as soon as I did, I was hooked. I even told her about _that_ night (sparing many of the juicier details, of course). And I told her how I reacted, and how I avoided him for a long time afterward.

I told her how I tried to rebound with James and how that had backfired on me by only making me want Edward more. I told her about how I suspected he had a girlfriend.

And then I told her about how we'd agreed to finally meet when we were in LA, and how he promised me a kiss and how we missed each other because of Emmett. I let her listen to the messages he left me and I told her about the conversation we'd had that morning.

"So… that pretty much sums up my really fucked up "almost" love life right now."

"Can I give you my opinion?" she asked after a few moments of thoughtful silence.

"Sure."

"First of all, it's obvious he likes you, and I think he has for a while now. You totally solidified it when you had your little _phon_e _tryst_. Totally hot, by the way. But then you bruised his ego, Bella."

"How do you figure?"

"That night you acted like you were totally into him and then you just dropped him like a bad habit and went to James. You said that's when you started to suspect that he was seeing somebody, right?"

"Yeah but-"

"It makes sense, doesn't it? He wanted you, but you were with somebody else so he needed somebody to get his mind off what he couldn't have! What did you expect? For him to wait around for you forever? And if what you say is right; him dropping whatever he was doing to talk to you, even if you knew he was with his chick, then it couldn't have been anything terribly serious. All signs point to a distraction, Bella, and nothing more.

"Think about it, he's a nice guy, right?"

"Yeah, he's great."

"So nice guys don't do stuff like that. I mean seriously, you know him, I don't. Does he seem like the type that would try to pursue something with you while he was seeing someone else? Because that's obviously what he's trying to do."

"No, I guess he doesn't."

"Well there's your answer. Seriously Bella, you think too much," she said, pointing a piece of half eaten crust at me.

"So that's it?"

"That's it. Haven't you ever heard that the simplest answer is usually the best one?"

I just smiled and blushed into my third slice of pizza while Alice chuckled at me.

Suddenly my phone began to ring, cutting through our laughter. Alice and I exchanged wide-eyed looks then we both sprinted for the kitchen where the little device laid waiting on the counter. She was just a few steps ahead and reached it before I could.

"Speak of the devil," she said with a devilish grin. "Should I answer it and just go ahead and tell him what's up? Maybe it'll save you two a little bit of time and frustration?"

"Alice don't you dare!" I warned.

"Chill out She-hulk, I'm just kidding," she rolled her eyes and handed it over. "I'll just let myself out. See you later, Bella." She fluttered her fingers and blew me a sweet kiss as she gathered her things.

"Hey Edward," I said, breathless once Alice had shut the front door behind her.

"You okay?" he laughed. "You sound like you just ran a marathon."

"Haha, umm… not exactly. So, how was your day?"

"Pretty uneventful; Went grocery shopping, changed the oil in my car, jammed with Mike a little bit. Overall a pretty run of the mill little Saturday. How was yours?"

"Pretty productive, actually. I squared things away with my dad –"

"Oh yeah? How'd he take everything?"

"Surprisingly well. That's one of the things I love about my dad, he doesn't usually freak about things. But my mom _did_ sort of run off when I was a kid, so I thought there was a possibility that he'd fight me on this a little bit but he didn't, which is good."

"Good, the less stress you have to go through the better. What else did you do?"

"I went shopping with my friend, Alice. She's the one whose cousin works for the label. She helped me get a few things to help me 'stand out in a crowd' she said."

He guffawed into the phone. "As if it were possible for you to stand out any more than you already do."

"Believe me," I laughed back, "I pretty much blend into the scenery wherever I go."

"Then I guess people up your way don't know how to appreciate real beauty."

I could feel my cheeks heating up at his compliment.

"Edward, there's something I've been meaning to ask you about."

"Ask away."

"Are you… I mean, do you… shit, how do I say this?"

"Just spit it out, Bella," he laughed.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurted.

After a short pause, "Why do you ask?"

"Because… I just kind of got the feeling that you might. I mean, you seem like the kind of guy who isn't usually single for long, if ever at all. And I sometimes heard a girl's voice in the background whenever I'd talk to you and it was always the same one."

"No, Bella, I don't have a girlfriend. I guess I sort of did for a while, but I don't now."

"Sort of?"

"Yeah…she was nothing more than a really silly, childish mistake."

"But she's completely gone now?"

"Completely. She's not even someone I care to think about let alone carryon romantically with. I swear, you have nothing to worry about as far as Tanya's concerned."

"Is there anyone _else_ I should be worried about?"

He chuckled into the phone.

"See the thing is there's this girl in Seattle who I'm kind of hung up on. She's pretty much perfect which makes it really hard for me to find anyone who even remotely compares."

I bit my lip as warmth spread over my entire body, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

"Do you mind if I ask you something now?" he said softly, his voice charming and more velvety than usual.

"Go ahead," I breathed.

"You're not with your bass player anymore, are you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I struggled to find the right words but before I could mull it over too much my mouth went on auto pilot.

"He wasn't you." _Shit. _

"No matter how hard I tried, Tanya wasn't you either," he said smoothly, seemingly willing his voice to caress my body with its warm tones. "How did this happen, Bella? How did you make me fall for you?"

_Gulp. _

"I…"

"It drives me crazy, thinking about you. I promise most of my thoughts are innocent enough; kissing you, holding you, just being with you. But some… definitely are not."

_Double Gulp_.

"Stop me if I ever go too far again, okay? I don't want to scare you away."

"You won't. There's no question about what I want now."

EPOV

_He wasn't you. _

The words from my dream so long ago struck me when I heard her say them aloud. It seemed like somehow all of this was meant to happen, like I knew all along that someday I'd be having this exact conversation with her.

Her voice was low and husky and it reflected everything I was feeling; lust, longing, and deep seeded desire.

"So if I told you all the things I've ever thought about doing to you, you wouldn't run away this time?"

I heard her take in a sharp breath, "No. I'm not scared anymore."

"Are you sure I don't scare you just a little bit, Bella?"

"The unknown is always a little bit frightening, but it's a risk I'm willing to take… with you."

"Good girl." A lopsided grin spread across my face as I let myself think about her _that way_ without shame or reluctance for the first time. I wanted more than anything to see what she looked like and tried to picture her at that moment but kept coming up blank.

"Where are you right now?" I asked.

"Laying on my couch. Where are you?"

"Laying on my bed. Are you alone?"

"Yes. I live alone so when I'm here, I usually am."

"Good to know," I said with a smirk, thinking about how much I'd love to give her some company right then.

The more we talked the more I pieced together a mental image of her. I imagined her lying back on her couch, relaxed and comfortable. There was a soft light illuminating the room just slightly, bathing her in a warm, sensual glow, her beautiful pale skin radiating softness in the warm light. She was wearing jeans that were tight in all the right places and slung low on her hips, and a plain black camisole that hugged her ample curves. Her hair was fanned out around her head and cascading over the armrest of the sofa like a chocolate waterfall.

"Edward?" she asked softly.

"Yes?"

"Are you thinking about me now?" Her voice was just barely above a whisper.

"I'm always thinking about you. But yes, I am most definitely thinking about you now. I'm picturing how beautiful you must look laying there."

"I'm thinking about you, too."

"Is that right? And what exactly are you thinking about?" I questioned with another smirk.

"Just how much I wish you were here right now. I really like my privacy, but sometimes living alone can be so boring. I wish there was someone around who could keep me _entertained_."

"I _do_ play a mean game of scrabble," I joked sarcastically.

"Oh _ha-ha_, very funny. If all you're interested in is playing scrabble then perhaps I've been wasting my time," she giggled sweetly.

A low growl rumbled in my chest involuntarily. The thought of her feeling like she was wasting her time with me, even if it was just as part of a joke, did not sit well with me.

"I guarantee that every minute you spent with me would be well worth it."

She purred into the phone and I imagined her snuggling deeper into the plush cushions of her sofa with her beautiful mouth turned up into a giddy smile.

"Perhaps we'd start with scrabble just to develop certain _skills_," I continued. "The greater my vocabulary, the easier it'll be for me to articulate all the different ways I want to make you scream."

I heard her sigh into the phone and I imagined her cheeks flooding with pink, her lips trapped between her teeth as she indulged in her forbidden thoughts.

"Then maybe we'd move to something a bit more tactile. Poker perhaps? Maybe a little Texas Hold 'Em, something with very high stakes. I'll warn you though, I do enjoy a good gamble, and I always play to win."

"So I'm a prize to be won now, am I?"

"Don't take it like that's something to be ashamed of. When you've wanted something for so long, pined for it, dreamed of it, and you finally get it, don't you feel like you've won some sort of prize?"

"So now you think you've gotten me, is that it?" Her voice dripped with sarcasm and I could hear the devilish smile in her tone.

"Not technically, no. But if things continue the way they are, I'd like nothing more than to make you mine. In more ways than one."

"All in."

"Excuse me?"

"In this little romantic poker game we're playing – I'm all in."

"Look at you, high roller," I laugh.

"I learn from the best."

"I had no idea you held me in such high regard, Miss Swan."

"Does that mean we're reverting back to using formalities, _sir_?"

"No, not necessarily, but I could get used to you calling me that. Preferably when I've taken you over my knee and shown you whose boss." I laugh at my dirty little joke, but truthfully I'd love nothing more than to give her nothing less than spectacular ass a good spanking.

"I could be bent over the arm of my couch right now and you'd never even know. Although I like the idea of being laid out across your lap much better. Sometimes a girl just needs to be _punished_." My mental Bella has a wicked gleam in her eye while I look on with my jaw on the floor.

"Are you?" I asked, feeling a sudden stiffness growing below the belt.

She giggled flirtatiously and I imagined her squirming back and forth on the cushions, tickled.

"Just so you know I don't do this very often. Well, never actually. I've never done this with anyone besides you."

"You don't do what?" I asked to clarify.

"This. Talk like this, act like this. I don't meet strange men on the internet and enter into whatever kind of relationship it is that we have."

"Bella," I say, suddenly serious, "you know I'm not just some 'strange man.' Secondly, we're friends, right? We just happen to be friends who have a mutual attraction to one another that we may or may not act upon when we finally get to meet face to face."

"May not?" she asked, sounding slightly wounded.

"I'm just leaving the option open for you. Just try and stop _me_ from acting on it." If she'd have been standing in front of her I would have winked to hammer home my point. "Keeping away from you is simply not an option for me."

She laughed again, the most beautiful, angelic sound that had ever graced my ears.

"The feeling's mutual."

"Bella," I felt my voice sink deep into my chest again, my burning for her renewed at her admission.

"Edward?" she whispered back in a husky timbre.

"Tell me to come see you." I was practically begging her. The only thing holding me back was her, all she had to do was say the word and I'd drop anything and everything to go to her.

"Edward, we've talked about this…"

"Bella I don't care. I've never wanted anything more than I want you. Right now. Legs wrapped around me. Nails clawing down my back. My lips at your ear, begging you – no, demanding that you cum for me. Now."

Her breathing stopped altogether and for a moment I thought the phone had decided to go dead on me at the most inopportune time again.

"Up against a wall," she sighed, breathily. "I want you to take complete control, hold me up, make me yours. …_mmm_… It would feel so good, having you deep inside me, thrusting, giving me everything you've got. I want it all. I …_mmm_… pulling your hair and as I bite your neck, whispering in your ear and begging you to fuck me harder."

My mouth went dry and my stiffness increased ten-fold.

"Bella, are you...?"

"Am I what? Touching myself?" she asked, in the sexiest voice I could ever imagine.

"Yeah…" I replied back with a gulp.

"I'm a very picky girl, Edward, and I don't just give it up to any and every guy who shows interest. See the thing is there's this guy in San Diego who I'm kind of hung up on. He's pretty much perfect which makes it really hard for me to find anyone who even remotely compares. Thus, I'm experiencing a little bit of a dry spell at the moment. Well… dry isn't really an appropriate word to describe me at the moment, but you get the idea."

_Wicked, evil, devilish, sexy woman._

"When was the last time you-"

"Got off? A few weeks ago, in the shower. I guess it's safe to tell you that it was a fantasy about you."

A smug, satisfied grin spread over my face and I palmed my throbbing erection through my jeans in hopes of relieving some of the dull ache that was building there.

"And what was I doing in this fantasy?"

She giggled flirtatiously again, "It's embarrassing."

"You're going to get shy on me _now_? Come on Bella, I need to know if I should apologize for what imaginary Edward did to you."

"_Mmm_… not at all."

"So tell me. Don't be a tease," I joked, but truly I was begging –no, groveling for her to tell me more, to give me a peek inside that beautiful, dirty mind of hers.

"Tease? Hmm… well… We were on my bed, I was on all fours and you were behind me. And _you_ were teasing _me_, just barely letting the head of your cock touch me where I needed you the most. Until I couldn't take it anymore, and you slammed into me in one long, _hard_ thrust." The ache in my jeans was beginning to become unbearable and I drew my zipper to allow the swollen part of me some room to breathe.

"Nobody was around to interrupt, so all I could hear was what was coming from my mouth, and the sound of skin slapping together—flesh against flesh. You grabbed my hair and pulled me up so that I was on my knees in front of you and you reached around to start playing with my clit. …_mmm_… It felt so incredible. I could feel your breath on my neck, hot and moist. I could almost feel you buried inside me. You kept petting me, teasing me, until I couldn't take it anymore and I just… came apart in your hands… moaning your name."

Fuck that was hot.

While she spoke I'd completely freed myself from my boxers and had begun stroking myself firmly.

"And that is where we'll have to leave it tonight."

My heart stopped beating.

"What?!" I demand in disbelief.

"You think I'm a tease? I'll show you a tease. Good night, Edward. _Sweet dreams_."

There was a soft click and she was gone. I was left alone with my cock in my hand, and my head full of steamy fantasies.

I laugh at the irony, and resign myself to a night of shower fantasies of my own.

* * *

Oh my... I believe its getting a bit warm in here. And they haven't even met yet! Jeez...

Review please :)


	7. Chapter 7

_Thanks for sticking with me, guys! I really appreciate it. _

_As always the playlist for the story can be found here: www [dot] projectplaylist _[dot] com/playlist/16484468235

* * *

"Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Hey, it's Jake. How ya doin'?"

"Oh, hey Jake. I'm great, how are you?"

I was a little surprised by his call; I wasn't expecting to hear from him so soon. I'd always been told that these things take time but here I was getting positively dizzy at the rapid pace in which everything was unfolding around me.

"Great. Listen, I just wanted to touch base with you and let you know that I've already got 8 possibly 10 shows booked for you guys."

I nearly shot diet coke through my nose.

"Seriously?" I asked in shocked disbelief.

"Yep," he laughed. "I know that sounds like a lot Bella, but keep in mind that big name acts will hit 40 cities in 6 to 8 weeks, sometimes playing more than one show in some cities. So you haven't quite hit the big time yet… but you're getting there."

"Wow…" I breathed, more to myself than to Jake, to which I could hear him laugh again.

"Can you do me a favor?" he asked lightheartedly.

"Sure. Of course." Anything for him. After all, without him we'd be lost.

"Stay like this, okay? Just like you are right now. Don't get caught up in the whole industry game. Don't ever turn your nose up at an opportunity because it's_ below_ you. So many people, so many _good bands_ fall into the trap of 'Yes-Men' inflating their egos and suddenly they're too cool for the world. And you guys, Bella, are far too good for that. You're exactly what's missing in music these days; real raw emotion. Gratitude and genuine excitement. Honestly, you wouldn't think that something so simple would be such an afterthought to so many people."

"Wow Jake, that's a pretty tall order," I giggled.

"I know, I know. I'll get off my soapbox. But seriously, stay grounded. That's all I ask."

"Fair enough." I can't help but smile at the way he speaks to me. It's so obvious that Jake holds me in very high regard, though I can't quite figure out why. Not that I mind, of course; I'll gladly take a friend wherever I can get one. Maybe that's just the way he is, warm and inviting to everyone he meets. Maybe that's why he was so good at his job at such a young age.

"Yeah, so get this. Your first show… a week from Friday."

"You're kidding." It was not a question, but a statement of fact. There was absolutely zero possibility that he wasn't joking.

"Nope, so get your bags packed. I've actually got it on the books to come pay you guys a visit before the week's out. I've got a little bit of free time and we need to take stock of your gear; figure out what you have that's worth bringing on the road and what you'll need. Are you good with that kind of stuff or—"

"Oh no, Jasper's the hardware guy. I'm the singer, remember? All I do is plug in and do my thing," I laughed and Jake laughed back with me. Talking to him was so easy. There was no pretense or awkwardness, just simple, carefree conversation. I liked him already.

"I'll let you know as soon as plans are finalized but I'm probably looking at flying in Wednesday morning and staying 'til Thursday night. We can inventory your gear and maybe go out that night if you guys are up for it. I figured it would be good for us to all really get to know each other."

"Yeah that sounds good. But umm… you're 20. You're not going to be able to get into most places."

"Bella, please," he scoffed. "I work for a very important record label. I can get in anywhere. Just pick a good place and let me worry about the rest."

I liked his style; a confident swagger without being overly cocky. He reminded me of Edward in that way.

_Edward…_

I couldn't wait to tell him the good news. Of course the last time I spoke with him I left him in a bit of a predicament. Poor boy, I actually did feel a bit bad about leaving him hanging but he called me a tease! What was I supposed to do? Just take that kind of thing lying down? He wanted a tease, so I showed him a tease. The phone dead in my hand, I remember squealing with triumphant joy as I flopped back down onto my plushy couch cushions, a huge satisfied smile plastered to my face. That's not to say, of course, that it was exactly_easy_ for me to hang up on him. Believe me, I wanted to keep going just as much as he did but if all went as I hoped, there'd be plenty of time for fooling around.

"Bella?" Jake's voice brought me back to the present and out of the previous night's memories.

"Sorry Jake. I spaced for a second. What were you saying?"

"I asked how the money advance was treating you?"

"Jasper's girlfriend Alice and I went shopping."

"Oh? What all did you get?"

"Um… just some jeans and t-shirts really. Of course Alice, being the little fashionista that she is, took it upon herself to make everything a little bit more_eye catching._"

"Eye catching? How so?"

I felt my face flame up. For god's sake, he's the one who told me I needed to stand out in a crowd, play up my "sex appeal."

"You know… make the shirts fit a little tighter, show a little bit more skin."_Ugh… this is so embarrassing. _

"Would it be too much to ask for a fashion show when I get to Seattle?" he laughed, and I felt my cheeks grow impossibly hotter.

"I'm just kidding, Bella" he continued. "Unless you want to show off, or something. In that case I'd be a willing audience."

I could hear the thinly veiled sarcasm in his voice, and I felt my blush recede just a bit at the realization that he wasn't_actually_ serious.

"Anyway Bella, I'll see you Wednesday."

"Wednesday. Got it."

The rest of the day was spent packing my meager belongings into boxes to be transported to Charlie's garage and thinking about Edward. I knew he'd be working his usual eight to five so as much as I would have liked to have spent all day on the phone listening to him breathe, I knew it wasn't exactly possible.

Once I had most of the pictures and knick-knacks in my living room safely stowed away, I moved into the organized chaos that was my bedroom. I started first with dissecting my bookshelf which housed some of my most prized possessions; the worn pages that had kept me company during my awkward teenaged years, and bad break-ups, and tiffs with girlfriends. The very center shelf, just at eye level for me and my petite stature, was home to an array of framed photographs from various stages in my life. There was one of me holding up my catch on my first fishing trip with Charlie when I was maybe 7 or 8 or so, there was one of my parents from the early 80's, before I was born when they were young and carefree, and my favorite – a picture of Jasper, Emmett and I when we'd spent spring break at Wallowa Lake in Oregon, the three of us lounged out on a large sheet on a flat rock at the base of a waterfall. I remember that it was still cool that March, but I had grown tired of my boring pale skin and insisted on getting some sun while we were out hiking that day. Not to be outdone, the guys shed their normal clothing in favor of bathing suits as well and soaked in the scarce sunlight along with me.

I stared at myself in the photo, pale and petite. I'd always thought of myself as plain and boring, but I thought about Edward and how he saw me, and the "sex appeal" Jake said I had. And the more I stared the more I saw it; pale, sure but my skin was creamy and smooth. Petite, yes, but curvaceous and toned in all the right places. Boring brown hair, that was smooth and shiny. Ordinary brown eyes that were smiling and happy.

_I guess I can understand the appeal…_

A devilish thought entered my head. I knew I still had that midnight blue two-piece stuffed in a drawer somewhere, what if I were to fish it out and give Edward a little something to help him through his work day. Or perhaps make him squirm a little bit.

_A sexy bikini photo… or perhaps something a little bit more risqué…_

I was surprised at myself for even thinking it. I'd never even entertained the idea of taking_those_ kinds of photos of myself before. But… the distance between Edward and I was difficult, and I trusted him, and had feelings for him… so it made sense…

I blushed and bit my lip at where my thought process was going. Surely I didn't have the guts…_of course not_. And I kept thinking that, right up until the moment when I was standing in front of my full length mirror wearing that same midnight blue two-piece that I was in the picture by the waterfall.

_What am I doing? This is stupid,_ I thought to myself._He'll love it; you know he__will,_ the little devil on my shoulder quipped.

Turning this way and that, I admired myself in the bikini._I suppose I really do fill this thing out well. And I've already started teasing Edward, there's no point in stopping now…_

Yes. I convinced myself that my reasoning was sound. I was going to do it, and I wasn't going to allow myself to chicken out. Besides, I'd already sent him a racy photo in the past. Hell, that's how we got into this mess in the first place.

As silly as I felt, I snapped a few photos of myself in the mirror with my iphone. After I was satisfied with the finished product, I moved over to my bed and lay down. Remembering a few saucy poses I'd seen in one of the few dated fashion magazines I owned, I held the camera over my head and arched my back up off the bed, making my breasts look fuller. I bit my lip and looked seductively into the lens, and just before I snapped the picture I hooked the middle finger on my left hand into the fabric covering my left breast and pulled down, exposing the tiniest hint of my rose colored nipple.

Before I even had a chance to talk myself out of it, I sent the picture to Edward's blackberry with a message.

-_Just going through some old clothes, what do you think of this one? Keep or throw out?_

As soon as I realized what I'd done I wished I could take it back.

_Who are you?! Bella Swan doesn't do this!_

I could almost see my father's face, shaking his head with disapproval at my actions.

_Edward's going to think I'm…_ I had no idea what he was going to think. I wrapped myself up in my duvet to stave off the sudden chill that had ghosted over my exposed skin, and buried my face in my pillow.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. _

My phone buzzed to life in my hand and my heart leapt into my throat. I was torn; I wanted to know what his reaction was, whether or not he liked what he saw, but was terrified he'd reject me completely. Of course, curiosity and pure vanity got the best of me.

_- Keep. Most definitely. So help me… if you throw that out, I will take you over my knee and make you regret ever even thinking about getting rid of that amazing little bathing suit._

I bit my lip and grinned a grin that threatened to break my face in half. He liked it, of course he liked it, he's a guy._What the hell was I worried about?_

- _Fine, Fine, I'll keep it. No need to get violent. ;)_

_- You're getting good at teasing me, you know that?_

_- I do what I can :) _

_- Would it be out of line to ask for more? _

- _Getting greedy now, are we?_

_- When it comes to you, yes._

I worried my bottom lip back and forth between my teeth before thinking_what the hell, you're only young once._ My heart pounded and my stomach flip-flopped enthusiastically as I typed him out a quick message.

- _I'd hate for you to get in trouble at work, so consider this just another tease. But don't worry… you'll have a present waiting for you when you get home._

I squealed with delighted anticipation before readying myself for a very _un-Bella_ course of action.

**EPOV**

I reclined back in my office chair with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face.

"What do you look so happy about?" Eric asked me from his desk on the other side of the room.

"Nothing," I mused, stretching my arms and tucking them behind my head.

"Liar. That look… that looks like something only a girl could bring out. Same chick?" My office mate pushed back away from his desk and looked at me with a questioning smile.

"Oh yes, the very same."

"Well well well, getting serious with this one, eh?"

"Maybe…" I don't know how it was possible but my smile grew impossibly wider.

"This is the uhh… internet girl, right?"

"Yep." I let the syllable pop from my mouth with more gusto than was entirely necessary.

"Huh… I never would have pegged you as the internet dating type."

I frowned at his comment and leaned forward to rest my elbows on my desk.

"I mean, it's not like I've got a membership to e-harmony or anything. We just sort of found each other."

"Hey man," he said with a chuckle, raising his hands up in defense, "no judgments. Look at who you're talking to here. I'm in no position to tell_you_ how or where to find girls."

Eric was your typical "nerd" I guess you could say; tall and thin, with gangly arms and legs, wire framed glasses, and long shaggy hair. I liked Eric a lot though. He wasn't exactly_bad looking_, but he was definitely the type who had to rely on more than just looks to attract a female.

"Besides," he continued, "internet dating is old hat for me."

"So you've uhh… met girls… from online, like, in person before?" I asked, suddenly nervous for some unknown reason.

"Yep," he popped, mimicking my cadence from earlier in the conversation.

"And?"

"Ehh… I dunno, I've had a couple lead to multiple dates but… to be honest man, more often than not it sort of fizzled out before it even got started.

"I mean, you're talking to this girl, and she's great; smart, funny, beautiful. She's flirting with you, you're

flirting with her, and everything seems like smooth sailing. But then you meet her… and she's just… different. You think you know her, and you do… sort of. But you know her phone personality, or her internet personality. That's the thing about the internet, you can be whoever you want, and that person may not be who they are in real life. And when you're sitting there face to face with someone, its hard to hide the real you. So you pretty much realize that the person you thought you knew doesn't really exist at all. Sure, she still looks good but if you're looking for something more than that then you're just fresh out of luck.

"I hate to say it dude, but there is a reason why people go looking for love on the internet and that reason is that they're lacking in some way. And that's me speaking from experience."

"But like I said, it's not like we went looking for this to happen," I wanted to defend our situation, there was no way our meeting would be like that.

"I don't know man, I'm just telling you how it's been for me. I look at it like this… if she ever says, 'This is so unlike me' or 'I never do things like this', the girl who 'doesn't do things like this' is really who she is, and the girl you're talking to is who she wishes she could be. I don't mean to rain on your parade, but I don't want you to get your hopes up too high, you know?"

"Yeah, thanks man." I turned back to my computer screen, trying to hide my sulking.

Is it possible that the Bella I knew wasn't the_real_ Bella? I don't think she'd lie to me, but then again how would I know? I tried my best to push it out of my mind, but what Eric said ate at me for the remaining few hours of my workday.

Five o'clock came, and I began shutting my computer down and packing up my things when Eric's voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" I replied, my hand poised on the light switch by the door, ready to leave the room in darkness for the evening.

"Look man, I didn't mean to cross a line, or anything. I'm sure your girl is great, and things between you guys will work out fine. I didn't mean to imply –"

"Yeah man, I know. No worries. I'll see you tomorrow."

Eric and I filed into the mass of people exiting the building for the day, and I shuffled my way out to my car. I gave what he had said a lot of thought as I commuted home. It made sense, of course; a certain degree on anonymity could afford someone the opportunity to do and say things they normally wouldn't. But at the same time, nothing about Bella seemed contrived, or forced, or like she was being anything less than genuine. Maybe she wasn't as outgoing or provocative in person as she was over the phone; that much I could handle. Which reminded me…

_There's supposed to be a present waiting for me when I get __home…_

Another smile crept across my face. A smile not unlike the smile that arose every other time Bella entered my thoughts. As if on cue, my phone vibrated in my pocket.

- _Let me know if what you find when you get home is satisfactory. _

_- My present?_

- _Wrapped up in a bow. _

Good God. My mind immediately conjured up an image of unwrapping Bella like a present, deftly removing her clothes layer by layer with the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning. Ugh… the thought was almost too much to bear with her being so far away._Why is there so much traffic today!_

I pulled up to the house, and luckily Mike hadn't made it home yet. He was usually pretty chatty after work but I was a man on a mission and absolutely could not be distracted. Not today.

I drummed my fingers impatiently on my desk while my laptop booted up._Come on, come on, come on!_ Patience really wasn't my strong suit, especially when it came to something I wanted; Bella being at the very top of that list.

Eagerly I logged into my email account and was not disappointed to find that Bella had indeed sent me a message with the subject line: For your eyes only.

Excited anticipation coursed through my veins sending a shock of lightning straight to the pit of my stomach as I clicked on the attachments one by one.

The first was a picture of my beautiful brunette standing in front of a full length mirror wearing that gravity defying little bathing suit. She had a sort of amused expression on her face, like she'd just finished listening to a funny story, or laughing at a good joke. As breathtaking of an image as seeing her body in full view was, I couldn't help but notice the rest of, what I assumed to be, her bedroom reflected back in the mirror image as well. There was a bed, queen sized by of the bit of it I could see, with a crisp white blanket that looked soft and warm. There were also miscellaneous boxes strewn about the floor, probably filled with packed items for her move. The room seemed fairly clean, despite its state of disorder. I took mental notes of the color of the walls, and the carpet, her blanket, everything I could so that I could properly picture her in that environment. Then I clicked on to the next file.

The second picture was obviously not taken with her iphone camera, but perhaps her digital camera set up on a timer. She was sitting on her bed still wearing the little blue bikini, legs spread and bent at the knees, one hand resting on her knee and the other knotted into her hair. Her hair was disheveled and wild, and to be honest she looked freshly fucked and it drove me wild with need. The picture really didn't show much but the position of her body was so sultry and seductive._And this girl doesn't think she's sexy, ha! _

The third made the stiffness in my slacks increase exponentially. The photo was cropped to show just Bella's soft, plump lips, and her bare chest. Her small, delicate hands cupped her supple breasts, allowing just a hint of her flushed pink nipples, firm and ready, to peek between her fingers. I wanted to take a moment to truly appreciate her long, graceful neck, and her smooth, radiant skin but my baser instincts prevented my eyes from straying from the hardened buds, no matter how little of them was actually showing.

The fourth and final picture took my breath away. She was lying on her stomach across the fluffy white comforter. Her upper body was propped up on her elbows, pressing her breasts together in the most delicious fashion and her lower body was positioned so that I could see the outline of her terrific ass, and the fact that she wasn't wearing anything but a sexy smile. Her long brown hair cascaded down her shoulders and made her look like a beautiful, naughty angel against the backdrop of the white blanket.

I groaned aloud at how good she'd gotten at teasing me, knowing all the right buttons to push to stoke the fires of my desire for her.

Without tearing my eyes away from the incredible image before me, I grabbed my blackberry and dialed her number from memory.

"Yes?" she answered in a smooth tone.

"You terrible, naughty, sexy, little girl."

"Why Mr. Cullen, I have no idea what you're referring to." I could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Oh really? So some other gorgeous girl just filled my inbox with sexy photos, is that it?"

"Perhaps. I might just have a doppelganger out there who's trying to make me out to be some sort of siren trying to lead you off course," she giggled softly.

"Maybe. If so, its sure as hell working. If I was ready to drop everything and come see you before, I'm halfway up the state of California now."

She laughed softly again and I relaxed back in my desk chair, eyes still glued to her nude, yet tastefully covered, image.

"So I take it you enjoyed your present," she asked innocently.

"Very much so. That is quite possibly the best present anyone's ever given me. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'll admit, I was really nervous taking them. I just… I've never taken pictures of myself like that before. I have no idea what came over me, really."

Eric's words shoved their way back into the forefront of my mind, and a familiar worried feeling throbbed in my bones.

"It's just that I feel so comfortable with you," she continued. "I guess I've never known anyone that I felt that I could… I don't know…_indulge_ myself with."

Her comment confused me a little. She'd been with other guys before, hadn't she? Was she telling me that I was the first person who'd seen her naked?

"Bella, uh… I'm not the first person to umm… see you like this, am I?" I stumbled over the words and felt stupid for even asking but I needed to know.

She laughed a hearty, deep laugh. "Of course not. I'm not a virgin, Edward._Please._ There's a difference between someone seeing you naked, and sending pictures to someone. I can control if and when someone sees me naked in person. Sending out a picture is like relinquishing that control to you. Now you can look at me anytime you want and there's nothing I can do about it. That involves a great deal of trust, you know. And you're… the only person I've ever trusted that much."

Suddenly Eric's words didn't matter anymore. She trusted me. She had absolutely no reason to, but she trusted me. If she felt emboldened by our distance, or being behind her computer, or whatever, it didn't matter. What mattered was the fact that this girl, this beautiful, wonderful, amazing girl was putting all the faith in the world in me. What more could I do than to give her the same degree of trust.

And I made up my mind, right then and there that I would return the favor.

* * *

Oh my...

If you liked it, if the thought of exchanging dirty texts with Edward gets you going, or if you just think Bella's asking for trouble... REVIEW! And tell your friends.

Songs added to the playlist for this chapter are U.R.A Fever by The Kills and Succsexy by Metric.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey ladies!

I know its been a while, and though I have much of this story planned out I was experiencing writer's block something fierce. However things in my life have calmed down a bit and I've gotten back on track, which should allow me to update on a more frequent schedule.

Thanks for sticking with me, I appreciate you all so very much.

* * *

Jake arrived Wednesday afternoon as planned. He asked if I would mind picking him up from the airport because he hated the ostentatiousness of having a driver set up by the label chauffering him around. I, of course, agreed to wait for his flight to arrive while Emmett, Jasper, and James tried to make Charlie's garage as presentable as possible for our pending record executive guest. Luckily I hadn't started moving my things into it yet, so it would mostly consist of clearing the cobwebs from the corners and airing out the dank, mustiness.

I had little else to occupy me after I finished packing my things so I arrived at SeaTac about an hour before Jake's flight was scheduled to arrive. But of course, being that this is Seattle after all, the flight was delayed due to inclement weather. To pass the time I made my way down to concourse B and prepared to sit and wait until the weather cleared up.

Despite the fact that it was early summer, staring out the airport windows at the misty rain sent a chill down my spine. Figuring it would be quite a while before the weather let up long enough to allow his flight to land, I excused myself to get a latte at the Starbucks I'd seen on my way in. After ordering and choosing a small table in the corner, I pulled out my iphone to check my messages.

To be honest, I was mostly checking to see if Edward had finally broken the silence. It had been almost three days since I'd heard from him last. The last time we'd gone more than a day without speaking it was because I was avoiding him. I knew that there was no tension between us now, so I couldn't figure out what was causing him to be so quiet. Of course, three days was nothing to freak out about, but I couldn't help but wonder as to the reason.

I'd tried to call him, of course, but got his voicemail every time and since then I'd been obsessively checking my email, voicemail, text messages; any communication outlet available to see if he'd sent me something, anything. After about the tenth time, I forced myself to stop being a silly girl about it and quit obsessing.

So as I sat there at the cozy little table I didn't immediately check my email, no matter how badly I wanted to. Instead I texted back and forth with Alice about how the cleaning was going over at Charlie's. She'd graciously agreed to supervise the boys and keep them on task while I was out. She said there was a fair amount of goofing off going on but they were, for the most part, getting things done. I was grateful for her presence there because without it I was sure the three of them would get nothing accomplished.

I saw a break in the weather and thought that his flight_ had to be_ landing soon so I moved back down to the waiting area near the gate where Jake was supposed to arrive. Sure enough, when I checked the arrival board his flight had just touched down.

I felt my phone vibrate in my purse, a specific and familiar pattern I knew very well; I had a new email. My heart leapt into my throat because somehow I just knew it was Edward. Or at least I hoped. Unable to resist the temptation any longer, I fished around in my purse frantically in search of my phone. Sure enough, there was a message waiting patiently in my inbox from the one person I wanted to hear from the most.

_Bella, _

_First let me say that I'm sorry for not calling, sometimes a guy can get a little nervous as well. I'm sure you'll understand why soon enough. But please know that while I've been "away" I've done nothing but think about you and the pictures you sent me. Believe me, there's nothing I want more than you at any given time, but those pictures are definitely a very nice temporary substitute. I hope these serve the same purpose for you until we finally meet. _

_-Edward. _

I smiled at how sweet and thoughtful, yet how laden with sexual tension, the message was and scrolled further down the screen. I bit my lip and had to withhold a squeal of excitement when I saw that he had indeed attached a few pictures. I made to open them when I heard a booming voice over the crowd of people milling around the gate.

"Bella!" I looked up to see Jake loping toward me through the throng of people. Reluctantly I stowed my phone in my purse to peruse through Edward's pictures later.

Jake was easily head and shoulders taller than most of the people around him, and as the mass parted for him to pass through, I found myself really taking in his appearance for the first time. Not only was he tall, but he had a deep California tan and dark hair that, though cropped fairly short, stuck out at odd angles like he'd been running his fingers through it for hours. He had dark, kind eyes and a wide, bright smile. He wore dark tailored jeans that hung low on his hips and a crisp white button down with the sleeves rolled up his muscular forearms. I couldn't help but appreciate how truly good looking he was, and if I didn't have a strict policy about not dating younger men I might have just had a crush on him. But that rule was firmly in place, so I didn't. Nevertheless, he was nice to look at just the same.

"Hey gorgeous," he said as he wrapped me up in a one armed hug. "It's good to see you."

"You too, Jake."

"Mind if we go ahead and get out of here? I hate airports; they make me nervous- too many people just wandering around aimlessly."

"Sure thing," I said with a shrug. He heaved his duffel up onto his shoulder and we headed out to the parking deck.

We chatted good naturedly on the drive from SeaTac to Charlie's about his flight and the other bands he managed. Meanwhile my phone seemed to be burning a hole in my purse, screaming at me to discover what Edward had sent me. My stomach rolled and tensed at the mere thought of what could be hiding inside those attachments.

"Bella?" Jake's voice, yet again, broke into my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I answered absently.

"I thought I'd lost you for a second there," he laughed. "What's with all this rain? How do you people stand it? I never thought I'd appreciate the sun, but now…"

"Hey, we 'pale folk' rather enjoy the overcast skies and constant moisture. It keeps us looking-"

"Ghostly?"

Without even thinking, the back of my hand connected with his muscled chest with a resounding smack. I took a split second to appreciate the firmness that was the brick wall of a man my hand had just come in contact with.

"Ghostly, huh? You think I'm ghostly?" I asked, cocking an accusing, yet amused, eyebrow at him. For some reason he looked nervous at my question.

"Uhh… not exactly." He fidgeted with the hem of his button down and glanced timidly at where my hand had come to rest on the center console.

"Mmm hmm, well we ghosts will continue looking just as ghostly when we're 60; where as you and_ your_ sun worshipping kind will shrivel up like a cracked leather boot." I smiled, quite satisfied with myself. After a moment with no response, I glanced over at Jake to find him smirking at me.

"You're quite the firecracker, you know that?"

"So I've been told."

"Yeah well, I'll tell you again. You'll be great on stage. People will love you; girls will want to be you and guys will want to be with you." As soon as the words left his mouth he started to fidget again. I cocked another inquisitive eyebrow at him but decided not to press the matter.

We arrived at Charlie's a few minutes later just as it seemed the guys were finishing up.

"Jake, good to see you again man." Emmett came bounding down the driveway and pulled Jake into one of those weird, manly half-hugs. Jasper and James followed suit, each of them embracing him warmly before leading him into the garage so that he could take stock of our equipment.

"Not a bad start guys," he said after taking a look around. "Tell me what you think, but I was thinking I'd call down to my guys in L.A and have them place an order for a new Marshall stack for both Jasper and James, plus new pedal boards. And Emmett, your bass drum is looking a little ragged and I'm afraid it may not hold up on the road. So how about a new DW kit with a couple of Zildjian cymbals; maybe a new crash, ride, china, and hi-hat. Sound good?"

You could have knocked Jasper, James, and Emmett over with a feather at Jake's proposal.

"If you can deliver all that, I'd say I owe you a steak dinner and a reach around," Emmett practically shouted as he slung a thick arm around Jake's neck and pulled him in for a sloppy, wet kiss on the cheek. Jake pushed him away playfully and wiped his face in mock disgust.

"Or you could take me out tonight and we'll call it even." Jake smiled his megawatt smile, white teeth against a backdrop of bronze skin, and laughed good naturedly.

"That could work too," Emmett said with a laugh.

"What about Bella? We all get new stuff, it's only fair that she get something too, don't you think?" James asked.

"Of course," Jake said, casting his dark eyes down at me and a slight grin tugging at his lips. "She can have whatever she wants."

I swallowed thickly. None of the guys seemed to acknowledge how Jake was looking at me, but it made me feel… strange – and not necessarily in a bad way. My stomach fluttered and I felt my cheeks flush scarlet.

_What the hell is wrong with me? He's just a kid! And he sure as hell isn't Edward; not even close. _

But I had to admit to myself that Jake was attractive and kind, and maybe if he were just a bit older I might actually like him. Not to mention that fact that he was_ her,_ while Edward was not_._ But as it stood he was just a very good looking friend. A friend who made me blush and made my stomach break out in butterflies. When said hot friend excused himself to make a few necessary phone calls, I sat down on the musty old couch (the very same one on which I used to make out with James) and chewed my fingernails wondering what this could possibly mean. After a few minutes, I chalked it up to the fact that I was just lonely. James and I, when we were whatever it was that we were, never slept together so it had been quite a while since I'd been with anyone…_ that way_. Though my conversations with Edward were naughty and tantalizing and caused my fingers to start exploring to the point of momentary satisfaction, it was nothing compared to the physical touch of a man and my frustration had been building for quite some time.

_I just need to get laid, and soon - preferably by a sexy southern Californian rocker type._ I smiled wickedly at the thought. I was reminded then of the treasure I had waiting for me in cyber space; a gift from Edward that caused my imagination to run wild. I needed to get home to my computer, and soon.

"Um… hello? Earth to Bella? Jesus, when did she become so spacey?" Emmett asked as he and the others stood staring at me with bemused expressions.

"Since I've had a lot on my mind," I snapped, perhaps a bit too harshly.

"What? Gone 15 minutes without a phone call from your_ boyfriend_?" he sneered back at me, obviously a bit miffed by my previous tone.

"Seriously Em, are we 12? Grow up," I stated flatly, as several things happened at once.

"Now children, let's play nice," Jasper said cajolingly as he stepped between us. James' face read confusion and curiosity, as he glanced between Emmett and I. Jake's expression morphed into one that mirrored James'.

I rolled my eyes and huffed at all of them.

"I'm sorry, Emmett. I didn't mean to bite your head off."

"'S okay, B," he shrugged and hauled me up off the couch and into a bone crushing hug.

"So," Jake began but cleared his throat when his voice sounded shaky and uncertain. "That brings us to a bit of an important issue. I know Bella does, but does anyone else have a significant other?"

"I don't have a—" I started to say but was cut off by Jasper, who cast me a withering look.

"I do, Alice is my girl." As if on cue Alice emerged from inside Charlie's house holding a tray laden with glasses of lemonade.

"Refreshments, anyone?" she asked with a smile.

"I guess, I sort of have someone," James said hesitantly as he took a glass from Alice and look a long sip.

Everyone gaped at him and wanted to know details of whom the girl was and why they hadn't been informed of her until now. Meanwhile Jasper and I had a wordless conversation during which I got the feeling that he thought I should keep quiet about the fact that I was_ technically_ single.

I began chewing on my lip absently, vaguely hearing James as he talked about some girl named Victoria that he'd recently started dating. I glanced up at Jake to find that he was already looking at me. He smiled awkwardly as his already dark cheeks turned a shade or two darker, and turned his attention back to James.

"So why haven't we heard about her until now, hmm?" Alice asked pointing a playfully accusatory finger at our bass player.

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted to play things fast and loose until we figured out what the plan for the band was, and where we were headed. I didn't want to get too tied down, you know?" He glanced nervously at me._ Like I'd care if he was seeing someone._

"Now that things are sufficiently awkward, can we please go get something to eat? I'm starving."

The boys agreed and we piled into my car and Emmett's Jeep; Jasper, Alice, and I in one, Emmett, James, and Jake in the other.

We pulled away from Charlie's in silence, but once we were on back on the main road and stopped at a busy intersection I was momentarily distracted by an unexpected, and rather hard, smack to the back of my head.

"Jasper!" Alice shrieked from the front seat.

"Seriously Jazz, what the fuck?" I asked, rubbing the back of my head and smoothing down my now wild hair.

"Are you insane? Honestly Bella, I wonder sometimes what the hell you'd do without me. Did you not see how our new manager was looking at you? He's got hearts in his eyes like a god damn cartoon character! But I'll give it to him; the kid's pretty smooth. How did you not notice him putting the feelers out? He's been testing the waters with you since day one, trying to gauge whether or not you were spoken for. And don't think I didn't see how you were looking at him too."

I gripped the steering wheel and huffed.

"Look B, I know you're in a… dry spell right now and if you want to hook up with Jake then be my guest. But if I know you, and I think I fucking well do, you want your internet dude more than you want Jake. And if you do something with him, you'll probably ruin things with what's-his-name and you'll hate yourself for it.

"Let Jake think that you're off the market for a while because, if we're being honest here, you may be physically single but you're not emotionally. Figure things out with your guy, and if it doesn't work out then see where things go with Jake. Not the other way around. Besides, it's not like Jake's going anywhere anytime soon; seems like we're going to be seeing a lot of him in the near future."

I sighed because I knew he was right. It just sucked having my personal life dictated to me by one of my closest friends – no matter how right he happened to be.

XxX

Several pitchers of less than stellar beer and a laid back meal at our favorite Mom and Pop burger place later, we pulled up in front of one of our regular haunts. Juju was a funky little whisky bar where you were guaranteed to see good bands or DJ's any night of the week. We'd played there many times and had gotten pretty tight with the owner, a guy called Aro who seemed a little shady but meant well overall.

Alec, the doorman, let us in without a wait much to the displeasure of the people waiting outside in the drizzling rain. He greeted my boys all with the same half-hug man salute and me with a soft (perhaps too lingering) kiss on each cheek. We introduced him to Jake, to which he informed us that a friend of ours was a friend of the bar's. He motioned to Lauren, the head bartender, who then waved us over to the bar. I inwardly groaned because though she had always been nice enough to me, I knew that Lauren had eyes for Emmett, and possibly James as well, and didn't care much for the fact that we were always together.

"What can I get you tonight, handsome?" she purred, gliding her manicured nails up Emmett's forearm where it came to rest on the bar.

"The usual," he answered in a smirking tone, leaning in far closer to her than was entirely necessary. She winked at him and proceeded to pour some dark liquor into a small glass over ice.

She eyed Jake appraisingly before giving him the same treatment she'd given Emmett.

"Ladies first," he said, and ushered me closer to the bar. Lauren flipped her long, corn silk hair and rolled her eyes before flashing me a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Bella, what'll it be? Better make it quick before your new friend here dies of thirst." Her eyes went back to Jake and she licked her lips provocatively. For some reason I felt territorial and because I swear I act more like a guy than a girl sometimes, I felt the need to show my dominance in this situation – with booze.

"A round of shots, Kettle One, for all of my_ friends_. Two for me, and a vodka soda._ Please."_ I smiled just as sweetly up at her, to which her response was simply to grab my spirit of choice jerkily from the shelf behind her and pour it into a waiting row of shot glasses.

Jake looked down at me amused and raised his glass.

"To Bella, James, Jasper and Emmett, may all the success in the world fall at your feet."

"Here, here!" Emmett bellowed, and we downed out shots in one synchronized gukp. As for me, I did one immediately followed by another. Jake just laughed and shook his head at my behavior.

I don't know if it was because of his massive size or if it was because we were his company, but nobody ever asked to see Jake's ID and we drank well into the night.

After a while, Aro ushered us into a private booth and gave us our own waitress. She definitely earned her tip because she never let our glasses get empty. I think her name was Chelsea. Several rounds in, a striking red head joined our group and James introduced her as the illusive Victoria, or Tori as she liked to be called.

"Tor, this is Bella," he shouted over the pounding music.

"So_ this_ is the famous Bella," she said with smug grin. "James, you didn't tell me she was so_ pretty_." Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she extended her hand out to shake mine. I begrudgingly shook, it making it obvious I was far less than interested. James gave me an apologetic look, but I waved it off. She was just another girl who tried to tear me down because she didn't like that fact that I probably got to spend more time with her boyfriend than she did. I'm sure it also didn't help that James and I had had a_ thing_. Instead of being a catty bitch because, to be honest, that's not my style, I went full force into dominance mode once again. I brushed off Victoria's bitchy attitude went back to proving how awesome I was by how much I could drink.

We laughed, we got loud, and I think there may have even been a glass or two broken. And we all got sufficiently drunk.

As the clock crept near 2am, I started to feel the effects of my display of dominance in the form of a pounding headache and numb extremities. On top of the physical effects, I felt an almost overwhelming sense of loneliness; Alice and Jasper were laughing and dancing (or rather stumbling) together near the stage, James and Victoria were cozied up in a dark corner, Emmett had even called Lauren over to sit on his lap and she was giggling wildly in his ear, while I was all alone. "You know I love blondes," he mouthed over her shoulder, and I slid further down in my seat feeling sour. Even Jake was at the bar being flirted with by some brunette I didn't recognize.

Grumpy and tired, I slid out of our private booth and made my way clumsily to the rear exit of the club. The night air was cool and damp and breathing it in felt cleansing to my smoke choked lungs as I sank down onto the stairs of the fire escape. I wallowed in self pity for a few agonizing moments, beating myself up about the fact that I couldn't find a guy close by who was worth a damn. What did it say about_ me_ that I had to resort to the internet to find someone worth pursuing?

I heard a loud, metallic bang and the door to the club flew open followed by Jake's massive frame.

"There you are," he said, a mask of concern melting from his face. "You were looking like you'd had enough so I went to get you some water and when I turned around you were gone."

"_Right_," I huffed, "and being dry humped at the bar by some tramp was just part of the process."

He looked at me quizzically and sat down on the stairs beside me.

"A minor setback, I guess. And what does it matter to you who_ dry humps_ me anyway?"

I wheeled around to look at him only to find that his face was surprisingly close to mine, smiling a lazy grin and his dark eyes sparkling.

I wanted to fall into those eyes, to be swallowed up and drowned in their warmth. I wanted to close the distance between us and quell the throbbing ache of being alone. I looked up at him through my lashes, willing him to make the emptiness go away. I wanted to feel sexy and wanted and I knew Jake could give that to me.

His smile faded and his face grew much more serious as he inched closer. He licked his lips and took in a shaky breath.

_Please, just kiss me already!_ I thought to myself, but meanwhile something was pulsing in my brain, almost like an annoying insect, that kept me from falling headfirst into what I knew would be soft and sweet.

"Bella," he breathed as he drew nearer, his oversized hand coming up to cup my cheek. The insect grew more persistent and my frustration mounted. I wanted so badly for this feeling to just stop and for Jake to make it all go away.

The insect started to buzz now, vibrating my body with its irritating presence. It took me a moment to realize that the buzzing was coming from my purse, not my imagination. I blew out a frustrated breath and reluctantly pulled away from Jake. He turned away from me and ran a hand torturously over the back of his neck.

I pulled my phone from my purse and the image on the screen snapped me abruptly into sobriety. Edward's face, complete with blazing green eyes and wild, sexy hair flickered in the light of the screen before being replaced with a message informing me that I'd missed a call – several calls, in fact. All from him.

"Jake I –"

"There you are!" Jasper stood in the dim light of the club that spilled into the back alley. "Come on, its closing time. I've got a couple of cabs waiting for us out front."

Jake stood up and offered me his hand, which I took gratefully because though my brain was now sober, my body certainly was not. The look on his face was hard to read but there was definitely some disappointment, maybe some embarrassment? I wanted to apologize for being such an ass. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault and that I was just lonely and selfish and immature, but I couldn't find the words especially now that we were no longer alone.

My hand felt tiny in his and he tried to continue holding it as we walked through the club to the waiting cabs, but I pulled away at the first opportunity.

There were three cars idling at the curb and Jake looked at me with a hopeful expression. The words_ Please come with me_ seemed to be written all over his face.

"Bella, I've got the guest room at my apartment ready for you," Alice said, pulling me toward the car where Jasper was waiting. "You know, since your place is all packed."

"Oh, right. I guess I'll see you guys…soon." It was a subtle change, but Jake's shoulders slumped slightly and he cast his eyes down at the street.

He recovered quickly though, steeling himself over and offering to take us to brunch the following day. He hopped in the cab with Emmett, who had thankfully ditched Lauren, and drove off into the night.

James and Victoria, who were attached at the mouth, took a car without saying a word to anyone, leaving Alice, Jasper and I alone.

"Thanks for the cover, but I can sleep at my place really," I offered.

"No offence, Bella but something tells me you're going to need a little bit of supervision to keep you from doing anything stupid like, oh I don't know, calling Jake and asking him to finish what he started." I gaped at her. "Jasper told me what he interrupted, and it's a damn good thing he did. Now come on, I'm tired."

It wasn't until we were trudging up the stairs to Alice's apartment that I even thought about calling Edward. I wanted to talk to him more than anything, just to hear his voice and know that I hadn't dreamed him up, but I needed to be alone when I did. Once we were inside I excused myself outside to the terrace to finally make the call.

"Bella? Jesus Christ, are you okay?" he answered frantically after just one ring.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I've been really… busy."

He let out a low sigh.

"Shit, you scared me. I was_ this close_ from coming up there and tracking you down myself."

"I wish you would have," I muttered.

"What's that?"

"Nothing. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, baby, so much. I'm sorry I stayed away for so long. I guess I got a little, I don't know, shy I guess about those pictures."

My heart hiccupped, and I squealed inside._ He called me baby!_ And then it hit me,_ the pictures!_ How could I have forgotten about the pictures?

"Umm… you did see the, uhh, pictures, right?" he asked, his voice uneasy.

"Actually, no. I was picking our manager up at the airport when the email came in and I haven't had a chance to look… until now."

"Now? Like, right now?"

"Sure, why not? Aren't you interested to know what I think of them?" I grinned wickedly into the phone.

"Well yeah, but… shit Bella, that's a little nerve wracking for me don't you think?"

"Nah, you're a big boy, you can handle it." I was thankful then for Apple's technology and its ability to allow me to check my email while remaining on the phone with him.

"Fine, fuck it. Just do it and get it over with."

I put him on speaker and bit my lip in anticipation as I opened my email. I sorted through a few pieces of junk to find what he'd sent me just a few hours earlier.

My fingers trembled making it difficult to navigate the touch screen, so I had to make my motions slow and deliberate. But my patience was rewarded when the first picture I opened was an image I was all too familiar with; Edward's torso, long, lean, and sculpted.

I groaned in appreciation of his perfection.

I clicked the next one to see a closer shot of his stomach, taut and amazing, and the waist of his dark boxer-briefs pulled down ever so slightly to reveal his deep cut hip muscles and a trail of bronze hair starting at his navel and leading down, down…

"Who's the tease now?" I asked.

He snorted. "You still hold that title."

I clicked the third and final picture. My mouth watered and I whimpered with need at the sight of him; a long, thick, rigid masterpiece grasped firmly in his strong hand, a clear bead of moisture glistening at the top.

"Holy shit, Edward…" I breathed.

"Yeah?" he asked and I could hear relief in his tone.

"Oh yeah. I don't even know what to say, except… wow."

"That'll due," he was smiling now, I knew it, and his cocky (no pun intended) attitude was back. What he was feeling self conscious about I'll never understand. Like he didn't know he had the world's most incredibly cock,_ please._ I sputtered a few times trying to think of something clever to say, but couldn't. I was in too much complete shock and awe of him.

"Bella, we're going to bed. Did you need anything else – whoa!" Alice opened the door to the terrace, but I wasn't quick enough to clutch my phone to my chest before she saw what had captured my attention.

"Bella? Who's that? Is someone else there with you?" Edward asked, slightly panicked.

Alice's jaw dropped.

"Was_ that_ him?" she hissed. I blushed fiercely, answering her question. "Ohmygod!"

"Bella?"

"Yeah Edward, I'm here. Sorry, umm… I'm at Alice's apartment and um… she kind of walked up behind me and uh...saw what I was looking at." I covered my face in my hand, wanting so badly to just disappear.

"Am I on speaker phone right now?" he asked.

"Hi Edward," Alice chirped, far too chipper than someone who was supposedly tired.

He let out a low chuckle.

"Hey Alice."

"Nice package," she giggled.

"Umm… thank you. Would you mind giving Bella and me a little privacy now, please?" His voice was liquid silver; so smooth, and alluring he could probably charm the pants off a nun.

Alice giggled. "Sure thing. Bella, everything's ready for you in the guest room when you're… finished." She giggled again, and went back inside the apartment.

"I'm so, so sorry," I groaned.

"It's okay," he laughed. "I might feel a little differently if she'd laughed at me, but she didn't so it's all good."

"I'd rather she had never seen it, but at least she approves, I guess."

"What matters is that you approve, baby."

"Oh yes," I practically moaned. "I definitely approve."

"You had me worried, you know that? When you didn't answer my calls."

"You didn't answer my calls either."

"Fair enough. I promise I'll never do that again."

"I'm sorry I made you worry."

"Next time I_ will_ come looking for you."

"Maybe I won't answer just so you'll come."

"So you want me to come see you now?"

I sighed.

"Yes and no. I stand by what I've always said. You can't just leave the life that you have there and come see me. But I want you more than anything, especially tonight. Everyone has someone, and I don't and I almost did something stupid and –"

"What did you almost do?"

"Jake, our manager, has a thing for me. And I was drunk, and he was there…"

"Did he make a pass at you?" He asked, almost angrily.

"Yes, no, sort of. I don't know. We were both drunk. It wasn't his fault. He's been a perfect gentleman. He's a good guy Edward, I promise. It was just… a moment of weakness, I guess."

"I'm sorry you felt that way. I'm sorry that I'm here and so far away from you. I'm sorry that I couldn't be with you tonight and every other night. I need to see you… soon."

I was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea.

"What if the band happened to be playing a show in San Diego, would you come?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world. Wait…_ is_ the band playing in San Diego?"

"Not yet, but I might just have to pull a few strings."

* * *

So... could you imagine having THAT in your inbox? Holy...

As always the playlist for this story can be found at http:/www [dot] playlist [dot] com/playlist/16484468235

Songs for this chapter are "I Want Some More" by Dan Auerbach (of The Black Keys) and "If Only" by Queens of the Stone Age.

Listen to some good music and leave me some love :)

btw... anybody want to volunteer to be my beta?


	9. Chapter 9

A/N at the end

* * *

"Come on, pleeease," I practically whined.

"I don't know Bella, it's not on the original schedule. What you're basically asking for is for me to completely rearrange the entire tour. Are you even sure that you guys can even handle more shows?"

"Jake listen, I know it's an inconvenience for you and I'm really sorry about that, but I've got a friend in a band down in San Diego and he said the rock scene there is awesome. I think we really need to play in the places we'll be best received. Just this once Jake, please? If it blows up in my face you never have to listen to me again."

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll see what I can do. It may end up that we just stay along the coast."

"That's so awesome, Jake. You're the best."

"Yeah yeah, I know. You're just lucky I'd do just about anything for you," he laughed but I had a feeling it wasn't a joke.

"Umm… great, so like, is there anything I can do to help you? Or-"

"Nah, I got it. I've got some contacts with a few clubs down there. I'll see what I can set up. You know that means we'll probably have to start a little bit earlier than expected, right?"

My heart flip-flopped in excitement.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Alright. I'm gonna go now, before you talk me into something else."

"Thanks again, Jake."

"You're welcome, Bella."

Oh. My. God.

Why had I not thought of it sooner? Playing in San Diego was the best possible way to get to Edward _and_ to help the band all in one fell swoop.

I hung up the phone with Jake in a cloud of euphoria, I could barely contain myself. It was like the feeling I had when I knew the label was signing us all over again. I wanted to immediately call Edward and tell him the news, but until I knew it was absolutely going to happen I couldn't risk getting both of our hopes up. But I had to call someone, so I dialed the only person I knew who understood what it was like to feel this giddy about something.

"You rang?" Alice answered her phone.

"I have news!" I practically shouted.

"Oooh, spill!" Alice loved any gossip where she could get it.

"I swear I'm dumb for not thinking of it earlier, but I think I may have talked Jake into scheduling us a show in San Diego."

"So?"

"So, Edward's in San Diego."

"Oh... Oh! Bella, that's a great idea! Did you tell him why you wanted to go there? How'd he take it?"

"Umm… no, not exactly."

"So what _did_ you tell him? He had to have asked, right? I mean, that's totally out of the way from the shows that were already scheduled."

"I know, I know. I just told him that I knew someone in a band down there and that the scene was really good, and that we should play where we'd be best received blah blah blah."

"Clever, Bella, very clever. What did he say?"

"He said I could pretty much talk him into anything."

"Oh god, he's so got it bad for you."

"You think so?"

"Bella _please_. Like you didn't know that already. That's why you called him about wanting to do this in the first place."

"No it wasn't." I chewed my lip thoughtfully. _Was it?_

"Maybe you don't remember that night as clearly as I do, but Jasper stopped you from making a huge mistake with Jake behind the club and you're lucky he did. Otherwise you'd all be knee deep in drama. Just be careful with him, don't lead him on to get what you want. That never works out well for anyone."

"You're right, and I won't. I mean, I may have today but I didn't mean to. I'm just desperate, Alice! Can you blame me?"

"Hell no. If I knew that ginormous dick was waiting for me, I'd get there come hell or high water for sure."

"Alice!" I laughed.

"What? I'm just saying you're a lucky girl, that's all. But then again, so am I."

"Oh ew, I don't need to know these things about Jasper. I'm hanging up now."

All I heard was more laughter before the phone went dead.

As much as I appreciated Alice offering me her guest room until we got on the road, the sound of her and Jasper having sex 3 nights in a row drove me to seek refuge at Charlie's, lest I shove sharpened sticks into my ears and ruin all of our careers before they even get started.

Charlie worked constantly and thus was never home. So being at his house felt like I was in high school all over again. That feeling was amplified by the fact that every time my phone rang my stomach would seize up into knots at the possibility that there was a _special_ boy calling.

It drove me crazy being on a completely different schedule from Edward. He went to work early in the morning and would try to email me during the day, but of course we had to keep those emails PG since they went through his computer at work. They were also few and far between since he did actually have a job to do and deadlines to meet. He'd sometimes call me on his lunch hour but we never seemed to have enough time, though it was always nice to hear his voice. Evenings were hard too because I had band practice and so did he, which left just the late night hours for any lengthy talks.

The up side to things was that I felt like I was getting to know Edward more thoroughly than if we had been dating in the traditional sense. All we could do was talk. And talk we did, about anything and everything from our likes and dislikes to our family dramas to our sexual fantasies, never passing judgments or being critical. I felt like he accepted me completely, baggage and all and I him. As crazy as it sounds, it was probably the healthiest relationship I'd ever been in – and we hadn't even physically been in the same room together yet!

Those feelings made the urgency to get to him all that much more pressing and it was beginning to be more than I could take. I still had a fair amount of money left over from the advance from Jake and I very seriously considered flying to San Diego and just meeting up with the guys when they got there, but of course I had no guarantee that Jake would be able to even get us a show in San Diego and last minute band practices were consuming almost all of my waking hours. Seeing him sooner rather than later simply wasn't in the cards.

So I did my best to bide my time and be patient, difficult as it may be.

A few days later I got the call that set my world on fire; Jake had come through and scheduled us several shows in southern California. I was a little bit torn as to how I felt about the fact that they weren't first on the tour schedule. I was thankful because that would give me an opportunity to get into a groove with touring before letting Edward see me in my element, but of course at the same time that meant I'd have to continue to wait. Of course now there was a definite date on which my suffering would end, and the anxiousness of that was almost too much to handle.

Jake couldn't seem to understand why I was so excited, and I wasn't exactly inclined to let him in on the secret.

Edward was ecstatic. When I told him we'd be playing at the Belly Up he nearly lost it.

"Are you serious? I'd kill to play there! They always get the best bands and the atmosphere is amazingly chill, while still being high energy. That's amazing, Bella. I'm so proud of you." There wasn't any jealousy or contempt in his voice, only genuine reverence and pride for what I was going to do.

And then it seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks that our waiting was almost over and he was speechless.

"I… wow… I can't believe I'm actually, I mean we're actually going to…"

"I know," I said breathlessly. "I'm a little scared." _Understatement of the century. _

"Me too," he laughed. "But I'm happy. Happy doesn't even cover it, actually. I just can't believe that we're finally going to meet. And I can finally give you that kiss I promised you."

My skin ignited and heat radiated across every inch of me at the mere thought of his touch.

"I can't wait," I breathed, a bit shocked at how desperate my voice sounded.

"When do you leave?"

"The day after tomorrow. Tomorrow night is a kick off show in Seattle at this placed called Neumos. I've been to a couple of shows there but we've never played it. I'm so stoked. I can't believe this is actually happening to us. It's like a dream, I'm afraid someone is going to come along and wake me up."

"Bella, it's like I told you before; You and your band are amazing. You put in a lot of work and it shows. There isn't a single band out there that deserves it more than you."

I was without words to tell him how I felt like I only had the strength to do this because he believed that I could. It scared me that I even felt that way at all, but I couldn't help it. Edward had become the backbone I had always lacked.

We said our goodbyes, but I was far too wired to sleep. I had so many feelings inside of me, anxiety, excitement, fear, happiness that they threatened to rip me open at the seams.

So I wrote.

I wrote stream of consciousness ramblings. I wrote free form poetry. I wrote lyrics. I was vibrating, humming with energy that needed to be spilled out in black and white on paper. When words eventually failed me and my fingers were stiff and aching, I collapsed into bed, exhausted. My brain fought my body's need for sleep, sputtering out desperate last minute bursts of panic and joy. I remember my last waking thought being about my bed, with its rickety, second-hand frame and threadbare mattress, and how I used to lay in it night after night dreaming my rock star dreams. Every kid has them, and as much as their nights are filled with bright lights and cheering fans, no one ever thinks it will actually happen; including me. But it did and here I am, preparing to dream one last dream, make one last wish and embark on the rest of my life.

_Breathe, Bella. Just breathe. _

I stood just off the side of the stage watching Jake ramp up the crowd. I don't know what he did to get them all to come, but the place was packed and I was terrified. I saw Jasper's guitars lined up on a rack on the other side of the stage, tuned and ready to be played at different times during our set. I saw Emmett's drums set up on a platform at the rear of the stage, all polished chrome and bright red wrappings. I saw James' basses, lined up just like Jasper's, only closer to where I stood. And I saw the microphone stand, stark and alone, set out front away from everything else. I saw it all, but I couldn't convince my mind that it was real. And the moment I even started to let myself believe it, my body seized up and completely refused to move.

It didn't make sense; I'd played dozens of shows before with little more than a slight flutter of butterflies in my stomach but this was different. This was my life. It wasn't just for fun anymore. It was real and serious and it mattered how we did out there. Before, if they hated us it wasn't a big deal, but now it was of the upmost importance that they like us. No, they had to _love _us. If they didn't, all of our hopes and dreams would come crashing down and it would be my fault.

"Holy fuck, can you believe this?" I heard Emmett say from behind me, but it sounded muffled like he was talking through cotton.

"Bella?" Jasper put his hand on my shoulder. "Hey B," he continued when I didn't respond. "Are you okay?"

"Come on girl, don't freak out on us now," Emmett laughed.

"Em, now is not the time. Bella, seriously, are you ok? Do you need to puke or something?" Jasper stood in front of me, blocking Jake and blocking my view of the stage.

"Huh? Uh…no. I'm just… nervous. I think I need some air." I turned away to find the stage door that led into the alley behind the club.

"Too late, it's show time." Emmett's big, strong hands turned me back around and pushed me toward the roaring sound coming from the crowd.

The stage had gone dark. All I could see were the lights over the bars at the rear of the club and the glow of cigarettes and cell phones in the crowd. I broke out in a cold sweat and my vision started to go black just as I heard the familiar hum of Jasper's guitar and the vibrations of Emmett's drums thumping through the floor, up my legs, and into my chest.

Time seemed to slow down. I was blind and terrified, shaking and convinced I couldn't continue. The pressure was thick in the air and I was about to let it get the best of me. I clenched my eyes closed and willed my heart to slow down just enough that it wouldn't explode when I bolted for the door. When I opened my eyes I could see again, but just barely. I focused on a blurry beacon at the back of the club that blazed green and red in the darkness and I thought of Edward, green eyes and red-brown hair. I thought of what he'd think or say if he saw me standing here, letting what I'd worked so hard for, for so long slip through my fingers.

_No one deserves this more than you do, _his voice whispered over the clamor of the crowd. And for the first time ever, I believed him.

Time caught up with itself again and I was bathed in hot, intense light from above. Grasping the microphone with both hands I opened my mouth and let out the low, sultry notes of our first song. It didn't matter if we were here or in my dad's garage, this was our music, our turn, our future and there was nothing that was going to keep us from it.

EPOV

It was late, probably 2 something in the morning, and I was sitting with Mike, Tyler and Rose in the workshop having a few beers. Earlier in the night we'd put the finishing touches on recording a new song. Bella had been so busy lately I hadn't even gotten the chance to share any of it with her. But that was okay, I'd be just as happy to have a final product to show her as I would bits and pieces as it came along.

I wondered what she was doing, how she was feeling, how the show had gone, or was going. I hoped she'd call me to tell me how it went, but I completely understood if she just crashed afterward; it was a big day that was bound to take a lot out of her.

"Alright," Rose said, "It's time to talk shop, kids."

"Seems like an appropriate venue for such a conversation," Mike, a little tipsy, replied gesturing to our surroundings.

"What are we doing here?" she asked, her elbows on her knees and her long blonde hair falling over one shoulder.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, these recordings, what are we doing with them? Are we just recording, putting in hours of work for our health?"

"No, of course not. We do it because… well-"

"Because why, Edward? Don't get me wrong, I love you guys. I really do. But I'm just starting to wonder where this is going. Do we even have a plan for that? Where we want to try to be by this time next year? Goals, a plan, a course of action, a general idea, anything? I just don't want to think that we're doing all this, spending all this time on nothing." She flipped her hair and sat back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest.

I saw Tyler give her a quick look up and down and tried not to smirk. I _knew_ he thought she was hot.

"It's not for nothing, Rose. I promise."

"Then what's next?"

"It's not exactly that simple. It's not like we can just walk into a label and get them to offer us a deal. You know it doesn't work like that."

She rolled her wide blue eyes dramatically.

"Well no shit. I know it's not that easy but no one will ever hear us if we keep on keeping everything to ourselves. I mean come on, Edward. We've played, what? 4 shows in the last 6 months? That's pathetic and we're better than that. You can go down to the beach, walk into any club and hear a million shitty bands that we can write and play circles around. But we're not, we're here. Don't get me wrong, we work our asses off. But because of that we sound good. Like, really fucking good. We need to do something with it. I don't expect us to get signed tomorrow, next week, or really ever for that matter, but it doesn't do us any good to sit in here staring at each other."

Tyler looked guilty and took a long drag from his beer. I couldn't help but laugh this time.

"What?" she asked, affronted. "What is so funny about that?"

"Nothing, nothing," I chuckled. "You're absolutely right. We sit here until everything's perfect, but what for? If you guys are all on board, I'll step up and make the effort of getting us some more shows on the books. I miss it, to be honest, the rush and all. And shit, we've recorded enough near perfect material to put out an EP. We could scrape together some cash and sell it at shows."

"That's what I'm talking about!" Rose jumped out of her chair, crossed the room and planted a loud, smacking kiss on my forehead. "Jesus! It took you long enough!"

"Everyone is onboard, right…?" I looked to Mike and Tyler who just raised their brown glass bottles into the air.

"To the future," Mike toasted.

"The the future!"

I lay in bed that night, or morning rather, really happy for the first time in a long time. I no longer felt quite so lost in the world; the band had a plan and Bella would be coming soon. Everything was perfect.

It wouldn't be long before the sun came up, and I was sure I wouldn't be hearing from her until morning.

But she surprised me as usual.

Just as I was beginning to drift off to sleep I heard my phone chime from my bedside table. Fumbling in the dark, I reached over and saw that I had a message waiting from Bella.

It was a picture taken with her cell phone from onstage, of hundreds of screaming people with their hands in the air.

_Wish you were here._

A moment later another message chimed in.

_I'm dead on my feet, I'll call you tomorrow. Remind me to tell you why I love Heineken. _

_

* * *

_

I so very sincerely apologize for the extended delay. I had the most serious case of writers block imaginable. And when I tried to write everything that came out was awful and I'd just scrap it. But things seem to have eased up lately and the creative juices are flowing again. I plan on continuing this story, finishing my other in progress creation, A Simple Twist of Fate and writing a sequel to my most recent one-shot, The One that got Away. If you haven't checked that out yet, please do. It was a submission for Smut Monday over on Twilighted, and I'm pretty proud of it.

Anywho, moving on... the song for this Chapter is Lassoo by The Duke Spirit. That's what I was listening to when writing the scene where Bella is on stage.

Leave me some love, or hate. Either one, LEAVE SOME! :)


	10. Chapter 10

Just a quick thank you to everyone for sticking with me. The suspense is almost over, I promise!

* * *

BPOV

I never knew exhaustion before this tour.

From Seattle we went to Olympia, then Portland and then on to Salem. Each show was better and easier than the one before it, but that didn't stop me from feeling drained.

The guys and I had one day off to relax and recharge before hitting the road again, but traveling with four rowdy and completely ridiculous boys is definitely not for the faint of heart. No amount of whining or complaining about my need for "beauty sleep" would deter them from dragging me kicking and screaming into the quickly warming air of late spring. I have to admit, I'd hardly seen the light of day since we left Seattle and a healthy dose of vitamin D on my already freakishly pale skin would probably feel nice.

Their idea of a fun day out was spending the afternoon at a little theme park called Enchanted Forest. After my initial protests, the idea of going to a theme park _did_ sound pretty fun; if nothing else it would at least get some fresh air into my lungs. That is until we pulled the van up in front of what can only be described as one step above a stationary carnival, mixed with Grimm's fairytales and sprinkled with a healthy dose of LSD.

It was seriously trippy shit. I thought I had fallen into some weird, Lewis Carroll inspired nightmare. Not to mention the fact that nothing in the park seemed to have been built for anyone over four feet tall. Of course, that didn't stop Emmett and Jake, the two largest among us, from cramming their massiveness into every kiddie ride and log flume they could find. They took pictures with every poor, unsuspecting fairytale character that came meandering unknowingly down the walkways, and ate cotton candy and funnel cakes until they were bouncing off the proverbial walls on a sugar high from hell. I even had to warn a few children to keep their distance. I said, "Be careful, you're head is right at elbow level. They'll knock you down and never think twice about it," only to see said children's eyes grow to the size of Frisbees and go running for their parents.

Though I enjoyed myself thoroughly and laughed harder than I can ever remember laughing before, I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. Our first meeting was quickly approaching and I was torn between feeling ridiculously excited and overwhelmingly nervous. What if somehow I wasn't what he expected? What if I turned into a stammering fool and blew what little time we had together? What if I choked on stage in front of him? Oh god, I would just drop dead on the spot if that happened.

We still talked every day. I told him about each show and he seemed to be getting just as amped up for my arrival as I was. All the while I was getting closer than I ever thought possible with the guys, including Jake. We'd only just met but he fit in with everyone so well it was almost like he'd been with us all along. It seemed almost strange to see him waiting in the wings instead of joining us on stage every night.

Jake had managed to get the label to spring for a tour bus instead of making us schlep it from city to city in a caravan of vans and station wagons, which was nice; nice for me at least, seeing as though I was really the only one of average height among us. The boys were crammed into their bunks every night and it wasn't uncommon for Emmet and Jake to play rock-paper-scissors to see who got to sleep on the couch so their feet could hang off the end rather than having to fold themselves into the tiny bunk.

Edward knew that Jake was with us, and he knew that Jake seemed to be crushing on me pretty hard. Though he wasn't exactly excited about his "competition" being on such constant close proximity, he was understanding about the fact that Jake was, after all, our manager. The fact that he trusted me made me want to skip the rest of the shows we had booked and go straight to San Diego just to get to him faster.

EPOV

"I've been meaning to ask you, why is it that you love Heineken so much?" I asked Bella over the phone as I unloaded groceries from my car one night.

"This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous. You can't laugh, ok?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Ok so right before our first show in Seattle I freaked. And I mean _really_ freaked out; I couldn't think straight, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move. It was bad, Edward. They pushed me out onto the stage and all I could think about was how I had to get out of there, how I had to run and run and never look back. I was so scared, everything went black. But I could still hear the crowd and… it made me think of you… God, I can't believe I'm telling you this… I thought about how you believed in me and things started to come back into focus a little at a time. In the back of the club near the bar was this glowing red and green sign and it reminded me of you; your eyes mostly, and it made me feel like I could do it. "

I stood silently in my kitchen for a minute absorbing what she'd just told me.

"Edward?"

"Yeah, I'm here. Bella that's… that's awesome. I'm glad I could help you get through it."

"Yeah me too," she laughed. "Otherwise things would have been pretty fucked up if I couldn't perform."

"Have you had to deal with any more nerves?" I asked, waving to Mike as he came through the front door after getting a drink with some of his coworkers.

"No. Well, not really. Not as bad as that first night anyway. A few butterflies are healthy, don't you think?"

"Yeah, definitely. When you lose the rush, what's the point?"

We chatted on about the shows she'd played so far and a trip she'd made with her band mates to an amusement park. She told me that, that guy Jake was traveling with them and it struck me as odd. I mean, I know managers sometimes take a really hands on approach with the acts that they're in charge of but he was making himself pretty cozy with Bella and her friends. It just seemed a little… above and beyond, you know? And maybe I was just feeling jealous because this guy got to spend every waking second of every day with _my _girl. Sure. That was a definite possibility, but I'd never heard of a manger being quite as involved as Jake seemed to be. At face value, of course it looked like he was just doing his job thoroughly and making sure the band was taken care of. But I'd be willing to put money on the fact that if you were to look just a little bit deeper into the kid, you'd definitely find an ulterior motive. That motive, of course, being Bella.

I knew about that little moment they had together a few weeks back, and it was enough to make me drop everything I had and go to her just to mark my territory. But I couldn't do that; not only because Bella wouldn't want me to give up my life but because I didn't want to come across as the jealous type. I needed Bella to know that I trusted her, and I honestly did; it was the horny teenager I didn't trust. He had already made is pretty clear that he was into Bella, and that's fine because, let's be honest here, she's beautiful and a guy would have to be a complete moron to not notice. But the fact that he was into her and he was _always _around in a capacity that was out of the ordinary for normal band management, made me go a little caveman and want to stake claim to what was mine.

Then again, what was mine exactly, anyway? Thinking in circles like that was enough to make my brain hurt. All that really mattered was that she was more mine than she was his. At least that's what I convinced myself to help me sleep at night knowing she was with him.

The night she told me the Heineken story she also told me the exact day that she'd be in San Diego. In one week she'd be standing in front of me. I'd get to see her in the flesh, hold her, kiss her, and hopefully be with her in every way I'd been imagining for god knows how long.

"How's your girl?" Mike asked, after I'd hung up with Bella.

"She's good, she'll be in California day after tomorrow."

"Nice, man. Where is she at now?"

"I think she said she's playing a show in Eugene Oregon tomorrow, then a day on the road to get to Sacramento, then San Jose, Fresno, Bakersfield, then here."

"Excited?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course I am. Which means you're going to have to clear your schedule that night, I need you to play wingman."

"Dude, you don't need me to wingman for you; you've already got that shit on lock."

"Yeah, maybe. But still—"

"Yeah yeah, I'll be there. We should get Tyler and Rose to go too; she'll have her posse and so will you. It'll be a nice team building exercise."

"You've been drinking out of the corporate water cooler for too long, Mikey," I said with a laugh.

"Take me away from it, fearless leader. I don't want to drink the kool-aid anymore. I'm dying for a life on the road."

"Working on it!" I shouted down the hall as I took my dinner to my room and turned on the TV to pass the time until she arrived. I had a feeling this was going to be the longest week of my life.

I was right, it _was _the longest week of my life. Work dragged on and on and I was having a hard time keeping focused on anything. Even Eric noticed how weird I was acting and said my fidgeting was making him nervous. I had to make up menial tasks for myself just to get through the day.

Then at band practice I was no good to anyone. I couldn't keep my mind from wandering and wondering what Bella was doing, where she was, who she was with, was the thinking about me? It was so stupid. I could barely function. It was only when Rose gave me a hard slap to the back of the head the night before Bella's show that I even realized that I'd been pretty much in a fog the past few days.

"I'd kick your ass out of here if it wasn't your damn house," she said with a scowl.

"Sorry, Rose. You know why I'm distracted, don't you?" I offered apologetically.

"Yeah yeah, Yoko's almost to town. I heard." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall of our studio.

I had to laugh because as tough and hard as Rose made herself out to be, I knew she was quite the opposite. I knew that she had become pretty protective of me, Mike and Tyler since we'd known her and I couldn't blame her for getting a little territorial when it came to an unknown girl. Of course I knew full well that Rose's defensiveness of me was purely platonic.

"Aww, come on Rosie, you know nobody is going to steal me away from you guys."

"Bullshit. You've already got your head in the clouds and she isn't even here yet."

"Need I remind you that you were the one that encouraged me to go after her, huh?"

"Whatever. I guess hind sight really is twenty-twenty," she frowned, picking at her nails.

"Don't be like that," I said, pulling her into a hug that she vehemently resisted. "One day you'll find a guy that all of us will want to beat to a bloody stump too."

"I hope I don't have to beat _her_ to a bloody stump," she laughed, relaxing into my arms.

"Yeah me too," I joked back, happy to have my little enforcer back on my side.

"So tomorrow's the big night, huh?" she asked, her big blue eyes looking up at me.

"It is."

"You'll be fine. If she doesn't like you, she's an idiot," she said with a snort as she wiggled out of my embrace and back against the wall.

"Jesus Christ, I'm beginning to think we're cursed," Bella huffed over the phone. "There was a huge pileup on the freeway that put us behind by almost 3 fucking hours. Can you believe that?"

"That's California for you," I chuckled, rubbing my hand over the back of my neck. She was right, I was beginning to think we were cursed too; somewhere, someone in the universe didn't want us to meet and they were getting their way.

Bella and I had made plans to meet at her hotel before the show. I was going to ride over to the venue with her and her guys, watch sound check then meet up with Rose, Tyler, and Mike out front for the show. But of course nothing can ever be simple, she was delayed and wouldn't be getting in until much later and wouldn't even be stopping at her hotel before heading to the club. She asked me if I still wanted to meet her there for sound check and though I wanted to more than anything in the world, I told her that it would probably be for the best if I didn't. I didn't want her to get nervous or distracted with only seeing me in the club while they sound checked. I had originally thought that seeing her at her hotel, just the two of us would be easier; we could break the ice and maybe get some of the awkwardness out of the way before she'd have to hit the stage. But now we weren't going to be able to do that, so I made the executive decision to postpone our meeting by a few more hours. After all, how she and the guys played at this show was important. San Diego had a big and loyal music following and if they could make an impression here, they could pretty much do well anywhere. I couldn't risk derailing her.

So I waited.

Mike, Tyler, Rose and I got there a little early and were let in with no problem because Bella had made sure that all of our names were on the list with the door man. It was strange being the first ones through the door at the Belly Up. I'd been to tons of shows there, but I'd never had the pleasure of playing there myself but I knew that the staff here worked their asses off to promote shows and make everybody happy to keep them coming back.

It was also strange to see posters with Bella's beautiful face all over town in the week leading up to the show. There she was, in every restaurant, ever coffee shop, on every telephone pole downtown, those deep, dark eyes watched me. It had been torture.

As I stood at the bar and ordered a round of drinks, my stomach surged with anticipation to the point that I was afraid I was going to be sick.

"Edward, are you ok?" Mike asked, clapping me on the shoulder.

I swallowed thickly. "Yeah, fine."

"It'll be fine, don't worry," Tyler added encouragingly.

"Easier said than done," I replied with a nervous smile and downed my entire bourbon drink in one large gulp.

People filed in and filled the club, far more people that I ever would have expected to show up for a band that was just making a name for themselves. The four of us found a place about 20 feet back from the stage, dead in the center so that we could see everything and everyone clearly. Tyler and Mike chatted up a few nearby girls, while Rose rebuffed the advances of nearly every guy that walked by and I shifted nervously from foot to foot, trying my damnedest to act like I wasn't scared out of my mind.

And then the lights went down and the world stopped turning.

The crowd cheered and whistled but I hardly noticed; I was too busy focusing on the silhouette of a woman making her way through the darkness to the front of the stage.

First, cutting through the din of the crowd, was her voice, clear and strong and so much more powerful and beautiful than any recording could have ever done justice to. As the lights came up I saw her standing there bathed in the spotlight that she so rightfully deserved.

The guitars picked up and began chugging out a gritty riff as the lights flashed and Bella swayed her hips seductively to the rhythm. Her hands grasped the microphone and drew it close to her lips forming words I could barely comprehend.

Her hair hung loose and smooth and brushed her shoulders as she moved across the stage. She wore a thin, form fitting camisole in black and white prisoner stripes, a pair of well worn jeans that hung low enough to expose a thin line of the creamy flesh of her abdomen and lower back, and a pair of knee high, heeled leather boots. She was, in a word, stunning.

The music chugged along, slowing down and speeding up as the songs changed. I'd heard most of them all before but yet I was still blown away by how good they were and how much chemistry the four of them seemed to have together. But truth be told, I hardly noticed the other three people on the stage with her until a few songs in and Rose bumped into me on one side, jarring me from my Bella induced haze.

"Holy shit," Rose muttered, staring wide eyed at the stage.

"Jesus, Edward. _That's _your internet girl?" Mike asked from my other side and all I could do was smile. "Lucky son of a bitch."

After a few more songs, Bella stood at the mic and addressed the crowd.

"Thank you guys so much for coming out tonight," she said breathlessly. "You have no idea how much it means to us, a little band out of Seattle, that you, the fantastic people of San Diego would spend your night with us. You guys rock!" She threw her fist into the air to a myriad of shouts, cheers, and whistles. "This is our first time down here and uh, it has been quite a ride. Every show we've played has been great but this one is sort of special because… well… because there's a very good friend of mine here tonight." She smiled shyly and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Without him, I probably wouldn't be here with all of you tonight. You know who you are, and wherever you are out there… thank you."

She was talking about me and it all felt like a dream. She nodded to her guitarist to her left and they launched into another song full of energy and grit. A few moments later the song came to an abrupt and powerful end and the lights went black.

"Thank you, everybody. Good night!" she said as the crowd screamed for more. The two blonde guys at the front of the stage threw their picks out into the crowd and the drummer flipped his sticks to two hysterical girls in the first row.

The assembly of people started to disperse and spill out into the warm night but we stayed where we were.

"So," Rose said, clearing her throat. "What's the deal with the guys? What's their story?"

"The guys? Umm… I don't really know much about them. I know that the drummer and guitarist have been friends of Bella's for a while. The bassist was a later addition. Why?"

"No reason," she said, attempting to take a sip out of an empty cup.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I quickly retrieved it with clumsy fingers.

_- Come to the stage door whenever you're ready. Security knows to let you in. _

My heart beat wildly in my chest as I read the words I'd been waiting for over and over again.

"So what now?" Tyler asked.

"She wants me to come backstage," I said through a lump in my throat.

"So what are you waiting for?" he grinned back at me. "Go get her!"

"Yeah, and bring the others back out here with you when you're done having your little romantic moment," Rose quipped as she slinked over to the bar to get another drink.

Mustering every ounce of courage I had in me I pried my feet from the floor and made my way to the door to the side of the stage. Tyler and Mike both flashed me encouraging smiles when I looked back.

_Snap out of it! It's just Bella. You know her. Nothing is going to change just because you're finally getting to see her in person. _

I tried to give myself a mental pep talk which seemed to work until the security guard asked for my name and my voice was nowhere to be found.

Clearing my throat with unnecessary force, "Ed-Edward Cullen. I'm supposed to see-"

"Yeah, Bella's friend. Go on in. Last door on the right."

The large man stood aside and let me go through the black door which lead down a long corridor that was teeming with people; roadies wheeling broken down equipment out to the waiting bus, club employees milling about, reporters and photographers looking for a story.

I kept close to the wall as I made my way to the end. I passed an open door where the three other members of the band were sitting on a couch drinking beers and answering questions from members of the local media. The biggest of the three of them, the drummer, noticed me peeking in the door and nudged the muscular blonde guy on his left. Both of them looked up and gave me warning looks and I immediately moved on to the only door that was left.

Of course it was closed.

With a deep breath and a silent prayer I raised my hand to knock on the door. Just as I was about to knock the door seemed to open on its own and I was standing face to face with my dream girl, in the flesh.

* * *

So sorry for the little cliffhanger, but I really wanted their first meeting to be from Bella's perspective. The next chapter with their first face to face interaction will be up very soon.

Please review, and let me know what you think!

Also as a side note, I will be publishing a new story within the next few days. It is a continuation of my one-shot, The One that got Away and will pick up right where that one left off. I hope you will read the one-shot and join me with the new fic.


	11. Chapter 11

I'm sorry about the cliffhanger from the last chapter, but I really wanted their first meeting to be through Bella's eyes. So... here we go, the moment we've all been waiting for...

* * *

I felt like I was going to puke.

Riding high on the adrenaline rush of the show and how incredibly _on _we were tonight, I sent Edward a text telling him to meet me backstage without even thinking. With my phone lying lifeless in my hand, my main form of communication with him for the longest time, I mentally punched myself in the face for acting so hastily. I hadn't showered, I hadn't eaten, I hadn't had a good healthy dose of liquid courage to get me through. It was going to be just me, and just him for the first time. Ever.

_Oh god, what have I done?_

I needed a pep talk, a morale boost. I needed someone to tell me I could do this. I needed Alice.

I pulled her number up on speed dial and hit send. It rang and rang and rang until finally her overly chipper voicemail message answered. Frustrated, I ended the call and tossed the phone onto the couch in the green room. Jasper would have to do for now.

It was normal for the boys and I to have separate green rooms so that I could change out of my sweaty clothes after a gig, and tonight was no different. I could hear Emmett's laughter through the wall and I needed someone to reassure me that I was doing the right thing just one more time before everything changed between Edward and me.

With a burst of nervous energy I sprinted for the door, eager for my safety net, and threw it open.

But as soon as I did, everything stopped. It was like I was frozen in time, suspended in some quantum worm hole that allowed everything to move in slow motion. Blocking my way out of the tiny, stuffy, green room was a man, tall and broad wearing a dark green tshirt. The fabric across his chest was stretched so tightly that it seemed plausible that it could rip apart at the seams at any moment. His arm was raised as if to knock on the door showing off a flexed, and frankly impressive, bicep. My eyes traveled further up to his strong, square chin and full lips before landing on his piercing green eyes.

My breath caught in my throat and I thought my heart might explode. We seemed to stare at each other for a long moment, neither of us blinking, neither of us breathing.

I wanted to become invisible, to fade into thin air and just _look_ at him. Well, gawk at him was more like it. He was simply perfection on two legs and too much to take in, in one quick look.

As if someone suddenly pressed play on reality, the buzz from the hallway assaulted my ears and my heart started to beat again.

"Hi," he said in a low, gravelly voice.

"Hi," I squeaked, sounding nothing like myself.

"This is-"

"Awkward?"

"Yeah, a little," he laughed, letting his arm fall to his side.

"Shit, I'm sorry, come in," I said, feeling incredibly stupid and moved aside so he could join me in the small space.

He smiled sheepishly and dipped his head a little before gliding through the door and closing it behind him.

"I uhh.." I started, but my mind went blank.

_What the hell am I supposed to say to him? _Part of me wanted to giggle uncontrollably because I couldn't stop putting various pictures of him together in my head to imagine him naked, while another part of me wanted to jump on top of him to get him actually naked.

He chuckled softly and took a deep breath.

"How about we start with this," he said in the same deep, smooth voice that had always made my knees weak. In a few graceful strides, he crossed the short distance between us. When he was standing directly in front of me, he reached out and cradled my face in both hands and before I had an opportunity to protest or even really absorb what was happening, he pressed his full, wonderful, amazing lips to mine and kissed me like nobody else had ever kissed me in my entire life. For what seemed like the millionth time in 5 minutes, I stopped breathing and just felt.

I felt his mouth moving against mine. I felt his hot breath fanning out across my cheek. I felt his warm, calloused hands against my face. And god, it felt good.

He was gentle but insistent, smoothly sliding his tongue past the barrier of my lips. Lost in the pleasure of his kiss, I let out an embarrassing moan that jarred me from the little euphoric cloud I'd settled on and back to the real world.

We pulled apart slowly and I opened my eyes to find his brilliant green ones already looking down at me, smiling.

"I hope that was worth the wait, because I've wanted to do that for a _really _long time" he said softly.

"I'll let you know as soon as my brain starts working again," I giggled.

"You were really great out there tonight, Bella," he breathed and I felt myself go a little weak in the knees again.

"Thanks," I whispered back with a smile, my face still just inches from his.

"Bella, they want you next door for an interview and-" Jake opened the door while knocking but froze when he saw that I wasn't alone. "Sorry, I didn't know you had company. Everything ok in here?" he asked, drawing himself up to his full, intimidating height.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat and stepped back from Edward. "Yeah Jake, everything's fine.

"So this is Jake?" Edward asked with a suspicious glint in his eye.

"Yeah, Edward this is our manager, Jake. Jake this is my friend, Ed-"

"Edward Cullen, nice to meet you," Edward said walking over to Jake and gripping his hand in what appeared to be a bone crushing, battle of wills, handshake. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Funny, I've heard nothing about you," Jake said through a wide, artificial smile.

"Well," I chimed in, eager to quell the rising tension in the room, "if you'll give us a minute, Jake I'll come next door to answer some questions, ok?"

"Sure, sure" he grumbled and flashed Edward a withering look before slipping through the door and closing it behind him.

"Keeping me a secret, huh?" Edward asked with a smirk, but with a slight edge to his voice.

"He rescheduled our entire tour for us so that I could be here tonight, remember? If he found out the real reason why I wanted to get down here so bad I doubt he'd have been quite so agreeable."

"Fair enough," he said with a more genuine smile. "I'm glad you got here, no matter what bits of information you had to omit to do it."

.~.~.~.

I went into the next room to join James, Emmett and Jasper for an interview with the local newspaper and a music blogger. Edward stood back against the wall, away from where the four of us sat and answered questions, exchanging death stares with Jake from across the room.

When the interview was over, I introduced Edward to my guys. James and Emmett were leery of him at first but Jasper was friendly and welcoming. Of course, Jasper was the only one of them that I'd really confided in about the whole situation anyway. He was the only one who really knew how much he meant to me. After introductions were made, Edward said that his friends and band mates were still out at the bar and he wanted me to meet them.

"Chicks?" Emmett asked, immediately perking up and dropping his tough-guy persona.

"One, yeah," Edward laughed.

"I'm in," Emmett stated and made his way past everyone else, through the stage door and out to the bar. "Jake, you coming?"

Five sets of eyes all shifted to where Jake stood off to the side of the door, causing him to shuffle back and forth uncomfortably.

"No, I'll make sure all the gear gets on the bus. You guys have fun." The words seemed to taste bitter in his mouth, but he excused himself out into the busied frenzy going on down the hall without an explanation.

Down the hall and through the stage door, we walked out into the club. Edward's friends seemed to be the only people left lingering at the bar. A gorgeous, Amazon blonde was arguing animatedly with one of the security staff.

"No asshole, we're not leaving. Our friend is backstage and _I _will sit my happy ass right here until he comes back out." Turning her back to the brawny bouncer, she spied Edward and I walking hand in hand across the open floor. "Great, he's back. We can leave now," she said flatly.

"_Now that's what I'm talking about," _I heard Emmett mutter from behind me, before edging past us and swaggering over to where the gorgeous woman sat perched on her bar stool.

"It's okay, they're with us," I said, waving to the bouncer. He gave a surly nod back and resumed stacking chairs and stools.

"Guys, _this _is Bella," Edward said with a wide, exuberant smile.

"_Hooray," _the tall blonde twirled her finger sarcastically in the air.

"Rose," Edward said in a warning tone, to which she simply rolled her eyes. "Don't mind her. Her bark is worse than her bite," he whispered, his lips dangerously close to my ear.

"Rose, what a beautiful name. I'm Emmett. I play drums in this little band here," Emmett said, sidling up to the bar next to her and flashing her what was meant to be a dashing smile. She cocked a well groomed eyebrow his direction and snorted demurely into her cocktail.

"Cute," she muttered.

"Why thank you," he replied, grasping one of her hands in his own and bringing it to his lips. Slowly, I observed tiny cracks forming in her steely façade. Though her shoulders were still squared and her overall body language read closed off and frosty, I could make out a tiny hint of a smile on her lips and a softening of her stony eyes. It was a good thing Emmett enjoyed a challenge.

We stood at the bar for what felt both like barely a moment and a lifetime. Edward and I didn't get drunk per se, but we did become a bit bolder with every drink. With each passing moment he became less hesitant about making physical contact between us and I became less shy about accepting it. His large, strong hands ghosted up and down my forearms causing my skin to erupt with embarrassing goosebumps, but I didn't care. I had wanted him for so long. I had dreamed about seeing his face up close for what felt like forever.

He smiled and laughed quietly down at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just—I just, I didn't think it could be this easy, seeing you. I thought it would be strange, but being here with you…"

"It's easy."

"Exactly," he smiled and it was so much more incredible than any picture he'd ever sent me. And that got my slightly foggy brain thinking about pictures, and a few photographic gems I had safely saved on my laptop, hidden away in the bus. I bit my lip and smiled into my glass at the thought.

"What? What were you thinking just now?" he asked with that grin of his that was quickly becoming one of my favorite things in the world to look at.

"Nothing," I replied with a wave of my free hand, "It's just… nothing, nevermind."

"Oh come on Bella, tell me." In an act that could only be described as a cruel, calculated move on his part, he wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressed his chest firmly against my back, and rested his mouth against my mostly bare shoulder.

My eyes fluttered closed and I took in a rattling breath.

"Please, Bella," he murmured against my skin, cracking my resolve and my instinct of self preservation.

"I was just thinking about you naked."

_Oh shit… did I really just say that? _

My entire body lit on fire, the heat of my embarrassing word vomit spreading from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. Suddenly his lips seemed cool against my searing flesh, and I felt him laugh.

"Ask what you're thinking and I actually get a truthful answer. I like it," he chuckled, trailing a line of feather soft kisses up my neck.

As much as I hated to break the connection his mouth had made with any part of my body, I turned on my bar stool to face him.

"That came out wrong… or right, I guess… but I didn't mean to—shit, I'm so bad at this," I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

I felt his hands come to rest against the bar on either side of me. Nudging my legs apart he moved closer to stand between them and pressed his lips against the place where my hands came together over my eyes.

"Bella," he whispered, a slow seductive quality taking over his already velvety voice. "Hey, look at me."

Slowly I raked my hands down my face, revealing a blush that had done nothing but intensify since my admission.

"The fact that you were thinking about me naked makes me feel a little bit less bad about thinking about _you _naked." My heart shuttered in my chest.

Before I could really even process his words, he was leaning in again and kissing me. Slow and languid lips moved against mine, gently sucking and pulling me deeper and closer to him.

"Al-right, Bella," James laughed from down the bar.

I smiled against Edward's mouth and started to laugh a little myself. Being with him made me feel dizzy and reckless.

"Shh…Bella," he whispered, continuing to kiss my lips, my cheeks, my jaw, my neck. "I want you, I always have. You make me crazy. Thinking about you naked… that's some of the tamer thoughts I've had about you."

I trembled in his arms as he just kept kissing me and kissing me. My thoughts all stuck together like they'd been coated in honey and tossed around in my head; sticking together and slowing down my ability to process all the things he was saying.

"Edward—"

"Bella, I'm sorry," he whispered huskily against my ear. "I shouldn't have said that to you, but I feel like my time with you is running out—like any minute now you're going to ride off and I'm never going to see you again."

"No, Edward, no… this won't be the last—"

"Fuck, I hope not. I don't know if I'm even going to be able to let you go tonight." Reflexively, his arms slid from the edge of the bar to wrap around my waist and pull me close.

There was a loud _bang _from somewhere in the club startling me away from Edward's kiss.

"I don't fucking care! Get it fixed, we're on a schedule!" Jake's large, lumbering body seethed in front of the thrown open stage door as he shoved his cell phone into his pocket.

"Get whatever you need for tonight off of the bus, we're staying in this hell hole tonight," he stated flatly, an angry vein pulsing in the side of his neck.

"What? Why?" Jasper asked.

"The bus chewed up a fan belt and we can't get it fixed until tomorrow. The hotel down the block held the reservations we had to forfeit this afternoon so we'll stay there tonight. I just fucking hope we don't have to cancel tomorrow's gig in L.A." Jake's jaw twitched when his eyes came to rest on Edward and I standing wrapped around each other but without a word he turned on his heel and stomped back in the direction that he came from.

"Stay with me," I blurted without a single thought.

A slow smile crept across Edward's mouth and his only answer was to kiss me again.

.~.~.~.

Half intoxicated on Edward's presence alone, I giddily stumbled onto the bus to gather my necessities and make my way down to the trendy hotel a few blocks away with Edward by my side. The guys had most of their things already in their green room so they had gone on to the hotel without me. As we made our way through the lobby, I noticed Jake arguing in forceful, hushed whispers on his phone again. I pulled Edward by the hand through the lobby quickly so as not to draw any attention from Jake.

Once in the elevator we were like teenagers again, laughing and smiling while not being able to keep our hands off of each other. We were brave and bold when it came to getting what we wanted and what we wanted was each other. His hands were everywhere; my face, my hair, my back, my ass. I tried to think, to breathe but it was all too much. The day I never thought would come had finally arrived and if this was how it all ended for me, I'd be okay with that.

The elevator bell chimed and we jumped apart, both a giggling mess. I lead him by the hand down to the far end of the hall and slipped my key card into the door. The room was dark, save for the moonlight streaming in through the open windows and the twinkling city lights. He shut the door behind us and suddenly all boldness and all traces of our once giddy and excited selves were gone.

His hands trembled ever so slightly as they came to rest on my shoulders and slide slow warmth down my arms. He grasped my hands in his and wrapped both of our arms around my middle.

"Bella," he whispered. "If we have just one night…"

"More," was the only word I could manage.

"I need you, can you feel it?"

And I could; hard and heavy against my ass. I let out a ragged sigh. All of the waiting, all of the hoping, all of the doubt and the distance, all of it had lead us here to this. This moment. I had thought about being with him for the first time over and over again but I had never thought about this part, the build up, the hesitation. It was sweet and burning and terrifying and wonderful.

But he just held me there, our arms tangled around my waist and his need making it's presence known. Waiting. And I knew then what I had really always known about him; he wasn't going to push me. If we went further it would be up to me. Once this dawned on me, there was no more hesitation and no more fear.

He was right. Though I knew in my heart that there would be more, if we have just one night, how would I want to spend it? And the answer was with him, in every way possible.

I turned in his arms so that I was chest to chest with his tall, lean frame. Cupping his face in both of my hands, just as he had done to me earlier in the night, I leaned forward onto my toes and kissed him as deeply and as passionately as I could. It was my white flag, my surrender.

He responded just as I hoped that he would, by reciprocating with his mouth and hands. Those wonderful hands.

I ran my fingers down his neck to his chest until the reached the bottom of his t-shirt, slipped under and began pulling the soft, worn cotton up and over his head. Parting our lips for just a moment, the neck of his shirt snagged on his nose causing us both to expel a soft burst of nervous laughter. But in an instant we were back to it again; caressing and breathing, removing and feeling.

When we were both clad in just our under things, he gently lay me back onto the bed in the center of the room. Hovering over me, he ghosted his fingertips across my overheated skin from the hollow of my throat to my navel, making me shiver.

"Edward," I sighed wantonly.

"Shh… I'm memorizing you, just like this," he whispered as his fingers continued their slow exploration of my skin.

When they grazed my nipple through the barely-there material of my bra, I gasped and arched my back into his hands. It was as if then something inside of him snapped; he could no longer retrain what was battling inside of him. In firm, almost frantic motions he unhooked my bra and stripped me of my panties until I was completely bare beneath him.

With certainness and resolve I didn't know that I possessed, I pushed his boxers down his legs as far as they would go and used my toes to finish what my hands couldn't reach.

We looked into each other's eyes for one long moment, as if to verify one last time that we were both sure. When he was certain of my answer, he slid off of the bed to retrieve a foil wrapper from his wallet in his discarded pants pocket. Ripping the wrapper with his teeth, he glided the tight latex down over his length and sat back on his knees on the bed.

Taking a deep breath, I spread my legs apart slowly, revealing to him what only a few men before him had seen. In an instant he was over me again, this time positioned at my entrance. His mouth attacked mine, tongues and teeth scraping and sucking each other into one another.

"Edward, please," I whispered.

Without a word, he pushed his hips forward and enter me for the first time.

I can't even begin to describe the feeling; it was everything I had fantasized about and yet there was nothing in the world that could have prepared me for it. Breathing his name again, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. I needed more of him. I needed all of him.

His movements were slow and deliberate, each accompanied with a noise from deep inside of him; half feral groan, half euphoric sigh.

"Jesus…you…this is… fuck, Bella," he growled against my neck.

"Harder," I whispered.

He obliged me, driving into me with more force than before. The sounds that were coming out of me were nothing that I recognized. No man had ever made me feel like this, thus no man had ever made me sound like this.

"Harder," I demanded, tangling my fingers into his hair and lightly pulling.

"Fuck…" he growled again, picking up the pace still, until I could feel ever muscle in his body firing in time with his movements. Each contact, each thrust sent shockwave after shockwave of pleasure through my body that radiated out to the tips of my fingers and toes.

His face, so concentrated and determined above me was beautiful.

And then I began to feel it, the sweet, tight, tension building somewhere deep inside of me.

"Edward—I… so close. I'm –"

Words failed me as my mind shut off and my body took over; I was being shattered from the inside out, breaking apart by hundreds of tiny bolts of lightning radiating out from where we were connected. My body trembled and bucked against him but he didn't stop. He motions continued in the same fashion, hard and deliberate, until I crested a second wave. A moment later, his mouth fell open and he let out a guttural moan as his body tensed and seized over mine.

Slick with sweat and out of breath, he collapsed onto the bed beside me.

Without a word, he pulled back the blanket and draped it over us and pulled me into his side.

We lay there for a long while, holding each other and coming down from our high until he finally spoke in a low, choked voice.

"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, Bella."

"I don't want to think about tomorrow."

* * *

Was it everything you thought it would be? Yes? No? Tell me!

Review, please! They mean so, so very much to me!

And if you haven't already checked it out, I've started another story based off of one of my one-shots. What can I say, I have author's ADD.


End file.
